The Gialloblu Chronicles – Part 5

Hot off the heels of a relatively successful first season, Ross is back with the start of season 2 over at Parma towers. Can they mount not only a title challenge but also compete in the Champions League again?

Welcome my friends. We made it! A second season, and the board are happy, the fans are happy.

Season 2 with my Parma Fam starts with some oddly timed but welcomed awards.


Proud for the lad. He is my captain, when Cannavaro isn’t. More awards, well one I think, come our way.


I call Hernan to congratulate him. Sadly, he still can’t speak Italian and mine is rusty. So, after 5 mins of awkward silence we hang up. My future striker Ronaldo gets the scribblers award. Soon my friend, soon.

Can’t really afford him at the minute, so I ask the board for more Lira.


Drinks are on me lads! But before I can even grab my wallet, this happens:


Thanks. So that means I may need to raise some funds myself. Dino Baggio has been hinting at a move. Walking into my office wearing a Barcelona shirt gave me a clue, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Later that day I get a surprise call from the Barcelona president. Dino is in his office already.


Joining Mr Baggio is a man who will probably never be allowed back in Madrid again…


Wow! I hear Real Madrid fans may turn up to the Camp Nou with Barbie heads to throw at him.

Anyway I need players. Big strong players.


A steal at £7m and some steel in my midfield… see what I did there?

With a solid first season I now need a trophy, so I want either the Champions League or Serie A

Before the season starts we need to qualify for the Champions League. AEK Larnaca travel from Cyprus to our bigger stadium. I put my strongest team out as I’m not sure what faces us. Probably need not have worried.


Never scored 10 in a game. Also I didn’t make any subs till the 70th minute.

I probably can afford to rest a few in the second leg.


They do like a red card this lot. Anyway, it’s good to have some back up players with minutes and goals under their belts. Now onto the draw…


Looks easy but somehow, we will make it difficult for ourselves.

It’s now September and the reason I haven’t mentioned any league games is because we haven’t played any. And for some reason its Coppa Italia 2nd round time.


Only 19,000? Glad that was money well spent. Still it’s comfortable win and we progress onto the next round.

Finally, we welcome Milan to the Ennio Tardini, and to be fair over 45,000 turn up.


Solid start to the season. But if we want the title we should be beating our rivals at home.
Torino away, and they have a bigger stadium than us. I really need to sort my emotions on this subject


A good comeback. But worried being voted European player of the year has gone to Lilian’s head. The Sibby and Denny combo strike back hard.


And again, the wing duo do the business against another team who seem determined to kick us over the park and play with ten men.

A chance to start the group phase on a positive note stalls as we come up against a Lars Ricken inspired Dortmund.


The score won’t show how dominant the midfielder really was in the game. And for some reason I’m not playing Stanic. He hasn’t done a thing wrong either.

A story has leaked in the papers im signing a player who can play D/M/F R/L/C. But there is no sign of Luis Enrique, instead I’ve gone to Yorkshire for a swede.


At that price, even if he fails I should get a decent profit.

Not lost a game, qualified for the CL group stage, only one thing left to get.


I celebrate by letting the lads watch the Godfather on VHS. Wish I hadn’t as they all come in the next day talking like Marlon Brando.

We visit Sampdoria and it’s an epic.


They really came at us in the second half and 1-4 flattered us bit. But we are happy. So happy that I buy a back up keeper.


With all the extra funds coming in from the extra numbers in the stands, a move I’ve supported from start… I buy Englands number 2 to be my number 2.

So going well in the league and the cups it seems set up to be a good season, even if it took two paramedics to remove a snooker ball from Kieron Dyers throat after he tried to say ‘I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse.’ Never learns that lad.

Ciao for now.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82


The Gialloblu Chronicles – Part 4

It’s the end of season 1 for Ross and his Parma team, with the European dream over it’s all about the Serie A title. Can they find a way to beat Juventus to the gold? Catch up with the previous episode here

Hello and welcome to part 4, yes part 4! Count them!! I know you won’t.

For a brief catch up I’ve decided to take control of Parma and lead them to glory domestically and European-ly?

Let’s remind ourselves of the situation league wise.


With the top two going into the Champions League it’s important we hold off Inter and the man I want to spearhead my strike force one day, Ronaldo.

First up is away to Udinese knowing full well any more slip ups will cost us.


Sibierski actually scored the pen only for the ref to order a re-take. I swear I saw an official with Inter Milan blazer handing him a brown envelope. Corruption in the Italian game just doesn’t make sense to me so I refuse to believe it.

Our task is made harder as we find out Inter have won. Juve also win and more or less wrap up the league, to be honest I just wanted to get back into the Champions League, the first season was a ‘get to know you’ one.

We welcome Fiorentina to our place.


Tense doesn’t describe this game. Crespo is the difference but Thuram is my hero. Blocking more attacks than a dodgy MP.

I tell the players we need to score more and ease the pressure off. My nerves were put through the wringer


That’s better, more or less had a cigar in my mouth after 77 minutes. But I feel sick as I have never smoked in my life. Both centre backs get on the scoresheet and Stanic finds his scoring boots. Can be hit and miss that lad. My only moan is that Chiesa has gone goal shy.

Kieron Dyer offers to talk to him and take him camping. I remind Kieron we almost lost 4 youth players the last time he did that.

Next is a massive one. HUGE!! Away to Inter. We lose and we can kiss CL football goodbye.


Enrico finds his touch. Good job to, we went 2-0 down. Gives us a chance going into the last day of the season. I try to speak to Ronaldo after the game about joining but he doesn’t speak English and runs away from me.

So, last day of the season. Inter play Lecce and we have Roma at home. Now if you have read previous write ups, I’m still to work out who our ‘Derby’ is against. Luckily my lads are not the smartest so I blag to them that this is the one the fans look for at the start of the season and we need to do our end of the bargain and hope for a Lecce sized miracle.


All wrapped up before half time. Denilson actually did a lap of honour after 45 mins, till a steward told him there was still another 45 mins. Not the sharpest is our Denny.

At full time I see the lads gathering around a radio to get the latest on the Inter game. Sadly, John Curtis has the racing on as he put about a billion lira on the race back in the UK. Thuram manages to get the result on after holding poor John up by one hand.


Cheers all around, bar Curtis who turned a dodgy shade of purple before Lillian let him go. The board even come down and congratulate me. I see a letter with ‘P45’ on it, but assume it was a prank.

Celebrations are cut short after I remind the players there is a World Cup for a lot them coming up.

Whilst the dust settles let’s look at the final table.


A decent top 6, and to finish above both Milan clubs is a great effort.


Shockingly Roma are relegated. Fiorentina go into a play off to see if they stay up or go down.

For some reason the awards are decided after the World Cup.


Lilian deserves that and I’m proud of Hernan Crespo.

For those of you interested, the World Cup final was one no one probably watched.


Chile versus Belgium, how? I don’t really know.

On that bombshell, I leave you for another week. John Curtis needs me to pick up his winnings as he can barely speak still. Ciao for now.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82


The Gialloblu Chronicles – Part 3

Monday is Ross day, with his Parma side getting off to a great start in parts 1 and 2 but as we reach Spring, are things going to take a turn for the worse? Catch up with part 2 here

Welcome back my friends. For those new to this, you’re very welcome but please read the first two parts or nothing will make sense.

We finished part 2 entering the winter break second to the mighty Juventus, going strong in the Champions League and very concerned for Kieron Dyer’s affection for all things ‘I’m a Celebrity’ related.

The aforementioned Juventus are our first game back from our mini break, which I took the players on holiday to Norfolk. All was going well till Denilson was almost washed away with the sea trying to play football on the beach. ‘It’s Great Yarmouth not Rio’ I said to him.

We get back to Italy for our biggest game of the season. And for 57 mins it seems the east Anglian weather has done the lads good.


Sadly, this puts to 3rd, and with top 2 going for the champions league I need to do better against the bigger teams.

Napoli are the next team to the Ennio Tardini, and after confiscating a bag full of Yarmouth Fudge off the players they seem calmer.


Decent sized crowd and the two best players so far of the season score.

The quarter final draw for the Champions League is next. I get the squad around the tele to watch. And after 30 mins of UEFA faffing and Dino Baggio squaring up to Dyer after Kieron refused to take a corked rimmed hat off, wWe finally know our opponents.


Paris in the first game. And even though this is pre-oil money PSG they are still decent and will cause us a lot of issues.

Our tough fixture period takes us to Lazio and the Olympic stadium. We are on an unbeaten run since November but not enough wins and to many draws keep us at bay in 3rd. Now wondering if the Glamour of Norwich has gone to their heads


Even a favourable red card doesn’t inspire the team to a win. With steady form in the league im looking for the team to pick the pace up for Paris.


Our 5 fans who travelled to the game will be delighted. Dogged game and really dug deep in the second half. Crespo taking up the senior role up front with Chiesa out. Will this kick start our league form?


Oh yes. Adailton is handy squad player, but the three non-EU rule means it’s hard to get him in the match day squad. The un-sung hero that is Blomquist repays my faith for starting him. And with PSG coming back to our ground in mid-week it should mean we go into the game on form.


Damn away goals. Also, is this the longest surname in the game? By the time Worns scored the guy on the tannoy had just figured out how to pronounce it. Our Euro dream is over for the season. The board are not happy, but I promise we will be back next season.

I sense the anger in the players. And the want fix things. More so for the fans and more so for me. I think anyway, my Italian isn’t up to scratch.

Piacenza feel the wrath of our exit from Europe.


I’m still waiting for us to really tear a team apart. But I’m happy with four and a clean sheet.

A quick look at the top three show Juventus have slipped up a little in the last few games and these two wins have put us above Inter for now.


5 games to go and only 3 points in it. It couldn’t be tighter, well it could we could all be on the same points but you get my drift.

Please come back for the final part of the first season. Can we qualify for the Champs league? Will the board keep me on? And can we keep Dyer away from trying to set up something called ‘Celebrity Cyclone’

Ciao for now.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82

The Gialloblu Chronicles – Part 2

Ross is back with his Parma save. Gialloblu means yellow and blue you know. Anyway, you can catch up with part 1 here if you missed it last week. In case you weren’t aware, Kieron Dyer participated in ‘I’m a Celebrity Get Me out of Here’ a few years ago – Ross certainly hasn’t forgotten…

Buon Giorno if you’re reading this in the morning and Buona sera if you’re reading this in the afternoon and beyond.

Thank you for coming back for part two of my Parma journey. My aim, if you forgot or just didn’t read part one, is to give the fans what they deserve. A Serie A title and a Champions League victory to sell on VHS.

We left part one with a win against the odds at home to Man United.

Our next game needs some explaining. Every time I come up against Bologna they seem to do me over. Bobby Baggio and Kennet Andersson normally rip me a new one.


Damn Swede. We could have played all day and still not scored. And we have a few sticky games coming up. More so when we rock up to the San Siro to face the mighty AC Milan.

We stroll into a 0-2 lead and get a little lax.


Probably my fault, at half time I fell asleep and left a note for Kieron Dyer to take the team talk. He just went on about wanting to spend time on a jungle based reality show one day and doing specially set tasks by people looking at him. Lad’s gone nuts.

After the Milan win I sense a new mood in the squad in training, though most of the lads are stepping away from Dyer, don’t blame them, He turned up in khaki shorts and a red t-shirt with name and a random phone number on the back.

Next is another big game, home to Lazio and I’m still wondering who our derby game is against. I lie to the lads and say this it. Luckily none of them own a map.


My defensive duo of Thuram and Cannavaro are like a brick wall. And also great to see Denny and Sibby score in the same game. After them match they both ask never to be called that again.

It’s Champions League week and I want the players to stay focussed on the task in hand. I’m taking the pressure off though by saying this is a long-term plan. ‘Bit like my plan to go on the jungle?‘ Keiron says while chewing on a kangaroo testicle.


A win and sitting on top of the group is a pleasant way to start November. Also, Melli scores on the telly… These sayings getting pasta joke now? I’ll stop I promise.

Back to the game and it’s World Cup draw time everyone!


Ooooh England vs Scotland in France, can’t see that being a problem. Cameroon will want revenge for what happened in Italia 90, Spain for Euro 96 and Scotland for everything.

Next up is a Bakayoko inspired Fiorentina.


More like Crisp-o. Hernan’s first hat-trick for means pizza all round for the squad. Sadly, Dyer ruins it by insisting having only bulls’ anus on his.

Next is the big big one. Away to Man United. I have Chiesa back after a few weeks out. I link him up with Crespo in the hope they can put the Red Devils to the sword.


Even Michael Caine would have been impressed with this Italian Job. The cloud on the massive silver lining is Crespo’s injury. Shouldn’t be too bad.

We enter the winter month of December with a spring in our step. I want to continue with the promise we have shown. With Juve top of the league and in the middle of a crazy unbeaten run, we want that second place like my one-time obsession with Sunny Delight.


Our game in hand is next, at home to Atalanta.

‘No time for gambling boss’, ‘No Kieron, that’s Atlanta’


Sweet. Sibierski on pens is a master stroke and Denilson, despite an average of 56 step-overs per game is now running the matches.


Two more wins without conceding means we go into the winter break in positive mood and in form.

Our next game is the small matter of Juventus. I tell the players that everything is coming together, though as I said it in English nobody paid attention and John Curtis was getting Dyer out of a water tank with eels in it.

Ciao for now.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @riddley82



The Gialloblu Chronicles

Ross is back with a new series and he’s gone all Italian on us as he takes over Serie A side Parma. Can he deliver the success the squad deserves?

Buffon, Cannavaro, Thuram, Dino Baggio, Stanic, Crespo and Chiesa. No not a dream team selection, all these players in 1997 were part of the Parma squad that had finished 2nd in the previous season.

They would go on to win UEFA Cup but then one by one the team was picked off by other European Giants. Then in 2015 the club was declared bankrupt and demoted to Serie D.
My aim in this, is to keep the bulk of the squad and give the trophies the fans deserve.

My first day at the Stadio Ennio Tardini and I check the squad.


Class, but to many non-EU players. Can only play three. I like the look of a Crespo and Chiesa partnership. So, I ship Tino off. Luckily Newcastle come back for a player they just let go.

I’m looking for a solid right back, and I go to Denmark for my first signing.


With the Asprilla money still burning a hole in my pocket I go shopping to pad out the defence.


Curtis and Dyer will be given time to bed in before they get regular starts. Worns will provide solid cover

The draw for the Champions League qualifier has sent us to Israel. And we play Jerusalem, not the song that would be weird. So being at home to Beitar Jerusalem, we obviously beat er.. Jerusalem.


Both strikers are off the mark and despite Stanic’s early withdrawal we coast to a 5-1 win.

Our next game is the second leg, it will be a good chance for the players to show me how professional they are and see out the tie. I play a strong team as I feel we had good chemistry in the first leg.


As you can see that didn’t happen. A biblical defeat to bring my players back down to earth. But we are through and for the bank balance, that is all that matters.


I work out I have two more signings left, both in attacking positions. One is a guy I’ve never signed before, Sibierski, and the other is basically me being a hypocrite.


All my worries of non-EU players and I sign a Brazilian I can’t play in the Champions League until the quarter finals, if I get there.

I go into the season with a few aims, to win a trophy and get back into the Champions League.

I want a solid but winning start in the league. Home to Juventus is just the challenge I wanted first. Said no one ever. But the night before the game I replay the previous game to wind the players up. Most of them just comb their hair.


Get in!! despite Inzaghi looking a mile offside for his goal, we prevail and my striking duo come up trumps. I pay for pizza for all the players, but some complain that there aren’t enough vegetarian options. Can’t please some people.

Next, we are away to Perugia in the Italian cup 2nd round. A cup I want to win and won’t take lightly.

We are 2-0 down after 55 mins, but Perugia go down to 10 men. I sense blood, really must go to the doctors about that, but before that I send on Sibierski and Denilson to rescue the situation.


Call me Don Jacobs. Though at 3-4 I did wonder.


15 months? Good player as well.

Our first game in the CL comes up, away to Tblisi and their stadium has Boris in the title. All I want is three points.


Thanks lads. Though this whole ‘concede first’ plan isn’t something that should be played to many times. Also, good to see Orlandini step up to the plate.

We play out a few more draws but keep conceding.


At last a clean sheet! Thuram gives a captain’s performance and Chiesa cant stop scoring.

With no transfer window Real Madrid win most surprising transfer award.


Sure John is a steady player but not exactly a Galactico.

With Man United up next, I think long and hard about resting players. Crespo has picked up a few knocks so my young Brazilian Adailton starts with Chiesa


Smash and grab stuff but I’ll take it with a big European game coming up. Also I’m not 100% certain who our ‘derby’ match is against. So I’m happy with a victory against one of the bigger teams.

Sir Alex comes up to me before the game and hands me a bottle of wine. ‘To toast our win’ he cheekily says before going into the away dressing room. I’ll show him, I think to myself.


Ha, take that bottle and shove it Fergie. Plus, I don’t really like wine.

Melli scores for the first time and Stanic finally works out what ive been asking him to do for the last 3 months and gets forward and scores the winner.

This leaves us top of our group and 5th in the league. Early stages but very promising. Come back next time to see if I can squeeze in any more poor puns into 900 words. Ciao for now.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82


(Future) Premier League Stars – Part 4

Ross is back with season two of the challenge I set him to build a team of future Premier League players. It didn’t really go according to plan though… (Part 3 is here)

5th!! We finished 5th. And the teams we finished above should give me some time to build a decent squad. An email from Alan Sugar says he has hired two people to ‘check on his apprentice.’ Odd I thought, but ok. So I had some snobbery women and man looking at me from afar with a clipboard in hand tutting a lot.

Funnier news followed though:


After 2 seasons the Arsenal board felt he had out stayed his welcome. Worst thing would have been him waiting around for over 20 years and stinking out the place…

Not many transfers to talk about, actually none. This ‘Brady’ lady following me around just says nothing and shakes her head a lot. “Alright love calm yourself, trying to do a job here” is the only defence I can offer.


Opening day is frustrating. We came back well, and always good to get Juan goal. O’Cascarino (read his book to get that joke) comes up trumps for Chelsea.

Now I have some guy called Claude is staring at me. Apparently the ‘Lord’ isn’t happy.

We play Wednesday on a Wednesday…


My new SaS is on form. Though with one a defender it could cause some problems as a strike pair. Claude and Karren had my players before the game selling programmes. Not having that. Though John Scales’ team did win and they went on a boat cruise after while Ruud’s team had to clean the toilets.

Our difficult start to the season continues with a visit from Man United.


We need reinforcements and quickly. Veron misses a sitter in the 89th minute and I can’t work out my best 11.

We finally dip into the market and pull out a bargain.


I’m sure with time I can build a great team and put some silverware in the cabinet. Also with our journey into Europe happening I know the fans will learn to love me.


Is this the real draw or is this just fantasy? Poor Queen jokes aside this should be a walkover. Would have rather a home game second but I’m sure we will rock them.


Mark Gower marks his debut by getting a goal. My 3-5-2 formation seems to be clicking. Playing Freddie Ljungberg as left-wing back is working wonders and with Notman and O’Neill up front with Bakayoko playing off them, this is an attack that surely will bring in goals.

I get an email from ‘Lord’ Sugar saying he wants me to split the lads in to teams of 5 and bring back something that would sell in the UK. Odd, but ok.

Next though we face my bogey team on the south coast.


Bogey picked, rolled and flicked. Notman is rested and Shev shows me what he can do. My young defender Haslam is also turning the saints into sinners. Praise the lord though an away win. Why I did 3 subs on 89 mins I’ll never know. But 3 points in the bag, more away from the bottom of the league and we are now into round 3 of the UEFA Cup.


Uh-oh. Again at home for the first game. UEFA have something against me. A young team will need to learn fast


Oh come on. Struggling in the league, away to Ath Madrid in one cup and a resurgent Arsenal in the League Cup. Now got this ‘Lady’ Brady sitting in my office saying its time for an ‘interview’.

I tell her some home truths about her and Claude. Time to start standing up for myself and my team of future stars.


Or not. Bit harsh. I didn’t care for the “You’re Fired” line. How cliche.

With more time I know I would have turned the team around. But it was fun.

Ross will be back soon with a new series but in the meantime you can follow him on Twitter @riddley82


(Future) Premier League Stars – Part 3

Ross is back with Part 3 of the challenge I have set him, which basically involves building a team of players who would go on to make a name for themselves in the Premier League. Part 2 is available here

Part 3 and it’s the business end of things. We need Europe and it’s the final countdown (80s gag, kids go ask your parents).

With goals being a problem and my strikers either old (Sir Les and Jurgen) or not hitting the highs I had hoped (Bakayoko and Shev) I need something more.


Good price for this player. Just hope he doesn’t come down with whatever my other goal scorers have come down with.

A bit of creativity is needed in the middle of the park Nicola Berti normally wanes after a bright start and Nielsen and Howells are to workmanlike. Only Juan player do…


The future Man Utd flop signs for us, somehow. He fell out with his manager at Sampdoria and I pounced.

With the two new recruits in I set about staring at Bakayoko and Ruud Van Nistelrooy during training so they pull their finger out.


Veron had picked up a niggle before the game and wasn’t risked. And Ruud took his chance well by setting up Jurgen, who celebrates by his usual diving onto the turf. Laundry lady wasn’t impressed. But an away win is still an away win. But our 0-1 1-0 wins seem to be a bit too close for comfort.


A crazy last 30 second in which Veron sets up Jurgen for a nose bleeding 2 in 2 games. Yet the crazy gang go thumping up the field and Neil Ardley somehow finds himself one-on-one with Walker and slides in.

White Hart Lane falls silent, more to do with the fact that Wimbledon don’t have many fans, but also Spurs fans are a fickle lot.

Now I know Dave hates this cup and is probably right given the fact it offers no European football it seems a little pointless.


But this may change his mind.

Our next meaningful game is the big one. North London derby at the Lane. Our form has slipped recently and we are out of the European places. I’ll be honest and O’Neill hasn’t really caught fire. Just a flicker


Luckily, I have a German in form and despite going 0-1 down the crowd get behind us and roar us to a thumping. I can feel a run coming on now and it’s a trip to the champions elect for the last day of the season, but I’m confident.


Now at first look this does appear like a typical, turn up at Old Trafford and get a hiding.
But let’s look at the stats.


See, who on earth goes to OT and get 5 times more shots that they do and more possession. I can’t really fault the player, well maybe the goalie but he still refuses to get his hair cut.


A win and a few favours could see us 3rd. But this is Spurs.


You’re probably wondering where the game is but it was so bad  even 0-0 seemed generous.

The bottom of the table looked like this:


Arsenal escaping by 1 point. I’m sure the fans will warm to Wenger sooner or later.

As its also World Cup year I’ll throw in the semi-final for you.


Now followers of @CM9798 will know a few years back he wrote a very good book (still available on amazon and good book stores) that involved taking England to the World Cup.

In this ‘reality’ England have glided their way through to the final where they will play Spain.


32 years of hurt are over. The streets of London and other places go wild.


A tight final with Paul Scholes scoring in the final few minutes. Wonder if Glenn Hoddle is reading this and notices who played number 11.

Anyway, till next time…

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82


(Future) Premier League Stars – Part 2

Ross is back with the second part of the challenge. You can catch up with Part 1 here

Welcome back to the Spurs challenge where I can only sign future Premier League players.

When I left you last, we sat 2nd in the league behind the juggernaut that is Man United.
But what you really want to know is who did Anderton sign for…


I turned down a bid from Chelsea as it wasn’t anywhere near the money Derby offered. So, the Baseball Ground it is, a massive 14 points behind us and that’s called progress. I give up sometimes.

We have just beaten Man United 1-0, so we go into our next game full of confidence knowing a win will close the gap even more…


Never the biggest West Ham fan, and now I have even more of a reason. Rio Ferdinand put in the kind of performance that I’m sure bigger clubs will have taken notice of.

The lack of goals is worrying for my lot. But with restrictions on buying I’m going to wait and see who wants to join my squad at the end of the season.


Normal service resumed after we complete the double, I think Bosnich calmed himself for this game and thought letting us easily win might calm our fans down. Cheers Mark! John Scales is now my captain and leading by example. Goals from the former Wimbledon and Liverpool man can only help.

Sadly, the yo-yo affect happens again in our next game.


Exciting game this one. It happened on Boxing Day so what a late present for everyone… bar Spurs fans and me. But sadly, this starts a run of only one win in the next 6 games. The goals dry up, Scales can level things up in games (Dad jokes coming thick and fast now) and my strikers go shier than group of boys at a school dance.

The only break we get is a thumping win the 3rd round of the FA Cup


Doubles all round for two people who couldn’t hit a cows’ backside with a banjo in the other games.

I start to think that Bakayoko isn’t the legend people banged on about. He hasn’t done much for us yet. But with options limited he can stay… FOR NOW.


Remember this is a blog for everyone, but I’m still putting this in as it made me laugh. But hey things could be worse…


Wonder what the poor lad is going to do for that time? I hear Sky are looking for some player insight in their gantry. Though who wants to listen to him go on and on about how good the ‘class of 92’ was over and over again?

I sense this struggle will continue if I don’t change things and adopt a defensive approach against a tricky Coventry team


This was a hard watch. Coventry had 4 shot off target and nothing on target. I’m aiming to keep things tight after we go 1-0. That 25,000 will need waking up. But good to see Sir Les on the score sheet.

This doesn’t show the others how to do it though as another bore-fest happens at my next league games, a 0-0 against Southampton but another 1-0 win this time against Sheff Weds did have it’s moments.


Stefanovic, for no reason, decided to rearrange Shevchenko’s face and elbow him on 20 mins. Ten mins later Sheva scored and celebrated by holding his hands near his ears towards the Wednesday fans. Not a fan of that. With things in the balance Scales managed to keep a level head (last one I promise).

I use the FA Cup to try out a few players


Damn it. But Bakayoko scored so silver lining and all that. Leaving Walker on the bench proved, like his hair, curtains for us.

With that pun I leave you with the top of the table.


You can how much that new year form hurt us. Not really losing many but a few more draws into wins could do us. Top 2 mean Champions League football but Europe in any capacity is now my aim.


Not really the impact Derby would have wanted with their new man. Coventry are ten adrift with 11 to play. Which is odd with a legend like Dublin in their team. And West Ham are still close to the drop zone, HAHAHA. Till next time.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82

(Future) Premier League Stars – Part 1

Today we welcome our latest guest blogger Ross to the family. I’ve set Ross the challenge of building a team of players who would go on to play in the Premier League but hadn’t as of 97/98. Let’s see how he gets on…

My first of hopefully many contributions to Mr Black’s web page started off life as something that, to be fair, would have been a bit straight forward. Start as Spurs and make them champions.

It needed some spice added to it. So, upon finding this pic:


It created a proverbial light bulb above our heads. Do a save where I can only sign future Premier League stars. So, I couldn’t sign John Curtis, Tommy Svindal Larsen nor Graeme Tomlinson. My aim – to sign Henry for Spurs. Still at Monaco and as we all know became a legend at Arsenal.

First things first, what do I have to deal with squad wise…

2 Squad

Klinsmann and Ferdinand will lead an ageing forward line. I’m also playing 3 at the back so that will be my first port of call. To tighten up a defence that will lose Campbell as I will sell him once he is fit. Yes it’s personal.

3 Dyer

I pick up young Dyer for £1mill, wanted Richard Wright but Ipswich seemed ken to hold on to him. End of season I’ll go back in for him. I worry Walkers blonde curtains will cause to much mayhem soon.

Richard Rufus comes in from Charlton for £4mill and knowing my strikers are almost getting free bus passes I use Andriy Shevchenko’s poor run at Chelsea to my advantage. Common fact about CM9798 is that his name was spelt incorrectly. But at £1.6 mill I’m laughing.

The books need to be balanced and Sol is fit.

4 Sol

Kerching! Lazio were the money team around this time, Sven had just taken over and they were picking players left right and centre. With these funds I bring in Robert Page of Watford, future Everton reject Bakayoko (legend on this game) and Ruud Van Nistlerooy. As you will have seen is not the goal hanging poacher but an attacking midfielder who favours the left. One of the many reasons I love this game was these sorts of quirks.

We start well enough. We play villa in the first few games if the season, with Bosnich seeming very angry with my team. He takes out Nicola Berti but only gets a yellow. Then gets so irate he scores an own goal.

5 villa

Lad needs to has 4 X. Good to see Dyer scoring and Jurgen getting off the mark early doors.

Chelsea come to White Hart Lane for our first game at home. I rev the boys up reminding it’s been since the Lineker days that we beat them.

6 Chelsea

Sparky gets his fuse lit and sees red. I’m a celeb star Dennis Wise even graces the pitch with his presence. We miss a load of chances. But I know we played well. And that gives me confidence.

The ‘pointless cup’ as Dave calls it comes around and to be honest he is right. No European pot at the end of this rainnow, and in this first season I’ve learned Man United normally romp away with everything.

7 Gills

Two reds and Gary injured again with a broken leg, after coming back from the same injury. But the league and FA Cup are my aims. We bounce back by beating Southampton away.

8 Soton

I add this, because Southampton normally ruin me. Hirst turns into Pele and Ostenstad plays like Maradona. If your wondering were Le Tiss is, well he finally got his dream bigger club move too… Sheffield Wednesday. I’ll just leave that there.

More book balancing happens, Jose ‘2 ft tall’ Dominguez and Ruel Fox leave us.


Decent prices, plus Armstrong, Sinton, Ginola and Anderton are up for grabs.

We find ourselves in 2nd but behind the juggernaut that is Fergie’s Man United.
The first Norf Laandan derby comes around. Again I tell the boys to ignore the table and just make the fans happy.

10 Arsenal

A proud moment for me, I celebrate by running to our fans and beating my chest, while ssshhing the Arsenal fans. We dominate again but a Klinsmann goal is all we can do.

With that mob put aside we now focus on trying to catch Man United.

The first time the top 2 meet is at our patch.

11 Man Utd

Heart in mouth time when Grodas, in for the injured Walker, brings Cole down in the box. The lane held its breath as Scholes blasts it over the bar. Again, Dyer pops up from left wing back with a winner. We close the gap. And with another win away to Blackburn we end November in good shape.

12 Prem

Yes 7 points behind, but we want Champions League football to attract the best that would join the Premier League. Other than Henry, I would like Crespo, Desailly, Stam, Wright and maybe Davids. Not a shabby 5 a side actually!

The bottom of the league looks like this

13 Prem Bottom

West Ham in all sorts of trouble, but at least 4 points ahead of the drop zone.

Join me next to see if I can actually sign anyone. And more excitingly Anderton has to choose between Derby and Coventry. How odd.