Welcome back to another episode of Philip is on holiday so we picked his team and it won. If you missed last week, you can catch up here. Seems that Dave could have been top if Jansen and Delap were not asleep on the job. Can anyone catch our runaway leader?

First up we have the league for once.

We open with what could be the result of the season so far. An almost full-strength Birmingham ’95 get obliterated by Rob’s Stoke ’92. Kevan was supposed to go to France but he’s so glad he ended up in Birmingham.

My Grim lot get stuffed by a late Torpey-do. Freestone giving us the customary over-hit back pass to nobody.

Wigan put on their best display of the season so far, perhaps looking to put themselves in the shop window and escape Ross’s lazy ‘that will do’ management style. Sorry, that was Barlow the belt.

The other Birmingham come back to life at Nick’s expense. The goat must be f****** starving down Millmoor.

Elsewhere the weight of a massive semi on their minds distracts Dave’s Carlisle. Like a bad curry its shit in, shit out.

Speaking of large footballing events…Dave makes the final where he’ll face off with Rangers. Enjoy the runners up medal Dave.

Terrible news for Matt as he loses his talisman again.

The Butler returns for Nick and serves Philip’s Birmingham with an ice-cold glass of ‘have some of them apples’. I cannot confirm whether there were cheers in the stands of Zoom Stadium.

It’s a ding-dong for Dave and the artist formerly known as iPad(7)…Zak. The best 9^th minute from a fan perspective there has ever been.

My Grimsby side continue to slump away, failing to take advantage of Phil’s boys terrible run. Great win for Rob.

An all-round good week for Stoke fans the world over.

Ross’ great week comes crashing to and end as some Moran makes up for the injuries.

A timely reminder that this is the Dave Black show and we’re all just Kevin Bacon.

Excelllleeeent. Deano’s Birmingham are peerless.

We fail to do what Rotherham achieved as we can’t beat Philip’s Birmingham. FFS.

The Penney drops for the Swans as Matt’s side win when he isn’t even paying attention.

Wigan get back on the win-wagon as the butler collapses injured.

It’s the big game of the week as we hold the Stoke derby. 8 years apart and miles apart on the day. Rob’s boys are flying for that top spot.

It’s Delap of honour for Carlisle as they reach another final. Despite such a big semi, Shirtliff picks up an injury and withdraws from proceedings.

The first trophy of the season is Dave’s.

Philip’s lads have had a shocking week. But they redeem themselves in the league.

You won’t see this superman associated with many 69’s, but, it’s a hero’s applause for Reeves after Poundland leaves the field that’s shoved down Wigan’s throat.

Speaking of Poundland, that’s the kind of value I’ve placed on these lads at the minute. Well done, Nick a goodwin.

Rob is on the rampage and Zak is in freefall. Kevan picks Stoke over Florida this time.

The week closes with a scintillating game at the Vetch Field.

And with that, despite Philip’s bad week, the top two have put clear cool water by Davidoff between them and the rest of the filthy stinking pack.

Rob has had a meteoric rise since Stein has returned from injury. If he can keep his forward line fit and in form, he will probably pass Phil over the course of the next few weeks. As for the rest of us, we have some catching up to do. Please join us again next week for some more ropey, close to the knuckle puns and some terrible simulated football of the lowest order.