Bom Dia! and welcome to the end of season two with Nick and his band of Portuguese Wolves. After an up and down season, they currently occupy the last playoff spot, but can they hold onto it until the end with some tricky last fixtures coming up?…

Here’s the lay of the land. It looks like it’ll be a fight to the finish between us and Forest for that last playoff berth. We have to play five of the teams around us in Birmingham, Man City, Huddersfield, Stoke and Tranmere. Let’s go…

First up, Bradford. After a boring first half, we come to life in the second, as Coelho grabs his 27th and 28th goals of the season, and Barroso ensures we don’t Buckle under the pressure. Forest win to stay level with us, but 5 of their 8 games are away, so I’m hoping for a slip up…

There’s good news on transfer deadline day, as Van Hooijdonk leaves Forest for Leicester, and his old club draw their first game without him against lowly Oxford…

It’s another goalless first half against City, and it takes a moment of magic from Lee Bradbury to break the deadlock with a long range effort on the hour. It’s 2-0 not long after, via Fenton, and by the time Manarte gets a consolation it’s far too late, and Forest go above us…

There are finally some first half goals against Swindon, as we start rampantly and go 3-0 up in half an hour, but Boa Morte’s injury is niggling. Barroso adds a 4th in the second half to get us back on track, and we swap places with Forest again as they lose at QPR. Yes!

If this wasn’t bad enough…

I then get this. I swear this f*cking game is against me sometimes….

We’re back to drab first halves as we nullify Birmingham, but only manage one shot on target ourselves. The second half is much the same, but we manage a second consecutive clean sheet and a point, which is enough to keep us above Forest, who beat Walsall 4-0…

Next up is a Monday night visit from 11th-placed Tranmere. Bully is one man benefiting from all the injuries, and he puts us ahead midway through the first half. The second half is another dull one, but I’ll take boring all day long if it gives us 3 points and a clean sheet…

Stoke are a real Thorne in our side in the first half, but Bully restores parity early in the second, which seems to get us going, as a brace from Coelho and one for Capucho make sure of the points. The 5 goals will help, as teams level on points are separated by goals scored…

Speaking of which, Forest and Birmingham both draw, so we go level with Birmingham and have scored more goals, so we’re now 5th!

Jeez, give me a break…

Can anything else f*cking go against us?!

Vicente hasn’t had a look in this season, but takes advantage of a start against Bolton in Bully’s absence. Quasimodo levels, and Vicente assists Barroso’s winner on the hour. Everton help us by beating Forest, so we need a point from our last 2 games to seal a playoff spot…

Bully gives us the lead on his return at Huddersfield, and it stays that way until the half time whistle. We then lose Ricardo, our sweeper, which has me proper worried, but we make it through unscathed and have the playoffs to look forward to once again…

We have another 1-0 half time lead against Charlton, courtesy of Coelho’s 33rd and final goal of the season. Red card number two in as many games comes on the hour, this time for Bully, but we sign off with a win and clean sheet, which sees us deservedly finish 5th…

We were conceding goals left, right and centre before, so there’s no doubt the new formation turned our fortunes around, and one can only wonder where we would have finished if I’d used it from the start of the season…

Our efforts get us £500k, and a date with our old mates Coventry in the playoff semis…

Let’s get straight to it then. We’re on top in the first half, but can’t find a way through, mainly thanks to Magnus Hedman, who’s having an absolute blinder once again. The second half is a bit quieter, and neither side is able to find the net at the end of the 90 minutes…

The first half of the second leg is a livelier one, with plenty of shots but not many on target, until Coelho strikes midway through the half to finally beat Hedman. The second half ticks by, but we keep them at bay and hold on to reach a second successive playoff final. Get in!

We’ll face Fulham, after they took care of Birmingham…

We’re behind in no time, and it’s that man Moody again. Maik Taylor is predictably on top form, but we keep knocking on the door, and are eventually rewarded. We absolutely batter them in the second half and both halves of extra time, but just can’t beat Taylor, and it goes to penalties…

As shootouts go, this probably has to go down as one of the worst in history, and after battering them in the match, we end up losing 2-1, with who else but Moody scoring the winning penalty. FOR F*CK SAKE!!!

As much as I feel like launching my laptop across the room, I put the result behind me quickly and get straight to work on the squad, releasing Muscat, Kubicki and The Frog, leaving Bully as the only remaining non-Portuguese man o’ Wolves.

Speaking of retirement… All the best, Luís!

Jorgey says there’s still not much around in terms of transfer targets that float his boat. We try for ex Spurs man, José Dominguez on a free transfer, but he opts for Lyon.

Jorgey also reminds me that this squad literally missed out on the Premiership by a whisker, so we decide that adding a sprinkling of youth (all for free) is a good strategy…

The 16th of July arrives, and we draw Rochdale in the League Cup…

Jorge rings back and tells me he’s finally found a player who’s so fine, he blows his mind, so I take his advice and part with £500k…

Two of the new boys immediately depart on loan, as does Simão, who joins the same club as last season…

So here’s how the squad is looking for an assault on season 3. I still want to offload a few more, but all in good time…

So that wraps up season 2. I’m not going to lie, I’m p*ssed right off at bottling the playoff final again, but I’m no quitter, and we’ll go again. Join us next week as we try to get off to a good start and make it 3rd time lucky. Adeus!