At the end of Season 2 the Clarets achieved promotion to the Premier League.  The first order of business during the off season is to hunt a few regens, sign some squad strengthen-ers and, if possible, some players to improve the first eleven.  Goalkeepers, fullbacks and wingers are key areas of focus.

We have two squad retirees. Pat was great in season 1, despite some jokes at his expense.  Remi was bought as cover, but a change of formation meant he was not needed.

Barry is an Irish left back who I had been tracking

Jim is a -1 man and his stats looks solid in this save, I’m hoping he will provide support if/when Freddy and Dave misfire.

I’ve tracked Bjorn the Belgian from the beginning and now we are Premier League bound he has agreed to join.  He has a funny position M/FR, I’m hoping this will mean he is a decent winger and can cover Keith.

Paulo was loaned out by Arsenal in season 2, so I came across him playing in Division 1.  His stats are great, he’s French, his average rating was strong so I invoked the Bene and Hot rule again.

I also pick up Zoumana Gohel, a French DL who is a regen of some older French guy with good stats, Mark Callaghan who is the regen of Paul McGrath and Harold Boonen who I think is the regen of Belgian keeper Gilbert Bodart, but I can’t be certain.

The final order of business before the start of the season is the sad passing of King Kyle, he’s not dead, just unemployable and given the dreaded red name, so it’s off into the world for the man who scored 57 goals in season 1.  I’ll check in on him at the end of the season to see how he is doing, his name will be etched on our wall of fame, probably.

With all that out of the way, this is how we line up to begin our assault on the Premier League.  It’s a modification of the attacking 4-4-2 that I call the 4-1-3-2 wide.

There is no easy introduction to the Premier League, match week one brings Liverpool to the Moor.  We make a great showing of ourselves dominating the shots and shots on target, however it looks like Liverpool are going to take all three points until Dangerous Dave Connolly pops up in the 86th minute with a deserved equaliser and the Moor Roar is heard across the land, or at least in the car park by the match day stewards.

It’s another established Premier League club for the second game in week 1, we travel to the Lane to face Spurs.  We show the lads in white what we are all about and run out 4-1 winners away from home, despite Freddy’s missed penalty, that responsibility has now been passed to Dangerous Dave.

Match week two, Spurs north London rivals Arsenal visit the Moor and we are full of confidence now.  Dangerous and De Souza get the goals in a dominant display, a second Moor Roar of the season.

Away to Forest and the euphoria of our first three games is reduced somewhat when Johnny Candles gets himself sent off, giving away a penalty in the process. Ian Moore scores a hat-trick for Forest, equalising every time we take the lead, a draw isn’t terrible but we should have had more.

I’m still not sure about our fullbacks. The Bosnian War Horse Sead Ramcic has been off the pace and might need to be sent to the glue factory soon, so I invest in Northern Irishman Peter Kennedy, he can play either side and his stats are solid.

Match week three and this time reigning Premier League Champions Man Utd come to the Moor.  The great Dane looks to have retired, and they have replaced him with the good but not so terrifying Andy Goram.  This time we are the side that hang on, a resolute defensive display sees us earn a 1-1 draw despite the imbalance in play and possession.  They have a team stacked with CM Legends and Henning Berg.

Officially listed Wiki rivals Blackburn are our next opponents, as we make the short trip to Ewood Park.  In a close back and forth game, we are ahead, then behind and then thanks to Keith’s 81st minute goal ahead when the whistle blows.

After the highs of victory against Blackburn to the lows of our first defeat of the season.  Sheffield Wednesday have Richard Wright in goal and he plays out of his skin, saving 10 of our 11 shots on target, unfortunately we have 16 year old Harold Boonen in goal because of JC’s red card and he lets in two of the three shots that come his way, that’s football.

We enter the League Cup in round two and head to Exeter for the first leg of our tie.  I use this as a chance to play some squad players and Steve Branagan (Ray Houghton) doesn’t let me down, not sure how we let in two goals though.

From one St James’s Park to another, we dominate the Magpies at their place and are deserved 3-1 winners, their team is absolutely bizarre, what on earth is Dalglish doing.

Southampton travel up to the Moor next and despite another dominating display we need another goal from Keith in the final 10 minutes to secure the win.

The second leg of the League Cup tie is another chance to play some second stringers.  We progress to the third round.

Our next game is away to Leicester, I’m happy to see that they don’t have Kasey Keller in goal, however I’m less pleased when I realise he has been replaced by Bengt Andersson.  It’s a close game at Filbert Street and because De Souza is injured Dangerous Dave is in the hole behind Freddy and Earthworm Jim.  The Earthworm makes a solid case for starting more games and we edge it, another three points.

The Clash or the Clarets is our next match, Villa sporting the inventive reverse claret kit, it’s another very close game in which Dangerous is the difference maker.

After winning a couple of close ones our luck runs out at the Riverside.  The Boro put two past us and we have no response.

Our League Cup 3rd round tie is against Wiki rivals Bolton, who are in Division 1.  We field a full strength team but it makes no difference, Dean Holdsworth with the only goal of the game.  We have been dreadful in cup competitions since day one.  I don’t think we have ever got past the third round in any competition.  Maybe, come January we will have a chance as that is where our FA Cup journey will begins, and most likely ends too. 

The final game of this episode is at home to Derby, who were promoted in second place last season.  The Mart Poom mystery must only apply to season one as Dangerous and Earthworm get the goals in a one-sided win.

Well, when you look at the League table you will be surprised to see that we are currently top of the pile.  We’ve played well, we’ve played some good teams, however I think we have benefited from everyone playing ultra defensive against Man Utd, they haven’t lost yet but have drawn seven of thirteen, that’s 14 dropped points.  Anyway, we will take it, maybe Mario Jardel will finally decide he wants to join, he hasn’t been keen, despite me bidding for him every week!

Join us next week to see if our good form can continue, if we can get into the fourth round of the FA Cup, we probably can’t.  Maybe Super Mario Jardel will join our strike force, he almost certainly won’t.