Hello, or maybe that should be Hola, except I don’t know how to do the upside down exclamation thingy. It’s good to be back. I’ve had a bit of a self imposed exile from Champ Manager. It’s not that I don’t like the game, it’s just when you’ve done more or less everything there’s not loads that motivates me. I’ve also been busy, tired, you know the usual things that come with being an adult. Anyway, let’s see if I remember how to do this.

Where are we? Here:

Why? Well dear reader, in 1997/98 this team got THIRTEEN POINTS. It remains a record low to this day.

This is a challenge that, I assume, will be quite easy to beat but as ever the point is to go as far as possible. With £10m in the bank there’s enough there to make a go of it, but does anybody want to come?

That page has looked worse. Interesting.

From the lads we have, I only really know Nikiforov. It’s reassuring to see he’s the most valuable. There’s four non-EU players allowed in the match day squad, so that’s also not a problem.

You’ll also notice we have a B team. Yes, I will fill it with veterans. First though, let’s get the Micker. As a side note, Gijon have a club legend called Quini who has since become part of the stadium name. I assume similar success will follow here

There’s definitely something to work with. Certainly the key skills of these two should help at the top end of the pitch

Strong voice in the dressing room, is Ronald.

Siri, show me a playmaker.

Honestly, how this lot only got 13 points I don’t know. There is obviously the possibility that their ability rating is atrocious and they just look good, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take. At this rate, I can gladly flesh out the B Team with my veterans and make minimal amendments to the first team.

And so it begins to unravel…

Here’s Teddy Lucic in case he does end up leaving.

Our number 1 is 33 but seems decent. I’ve signed this lad to learn from him

The squad is wanted left, right and centre. Those who I list who aren’t sold will be sent to the B Team to think about what they’ve done. I want the B Team promoted, I might even send the Micker there if he doesn’t get on with La Liga.

This is how we lineup for the first game – the away leg of a Copa del Rey clash with Eibar. It occurs to me that I’m not sure I’ve done many blog saves from Spain, so we’ll see how this goes.

We might be alright.

El Micker gets a perfect 10 rating, no less than we’ve come to expect from the World’s largest love machine. Eibar are a division lower than us, the Micker got a bang on the ribs but more worryingly…

That’s very unlucky. We best go to the market to find a replacement…

Crisis averted.

First league game takes us to Deportivo. The attack is depleted but with Bakayoko added to the ranks, who needs the Micker anyway?

The B Team has taken shape. A mix of heroes, veterans and cast offs.

The second leg is a formality, even with the game doing its stupid “no you can’t have a normal two legged cup tie” where Eibar pummel 35 shots in this bizarre match.

Better than getting their A Team, I suppose.

We continue to score goals at a rate of knots. Celta Vigo are the latest to ship 4 to los Entertainers.

Six of the best! We’ve created a monster. Actually we’ve largely inherited a monster. How did this lot turn out to be so terrible in real life? They’re a delight.

Three goals in 4 minutes you say? We warm up for the B Team by battering the A team…and I don’t mean Mr T and the gang.

Well riddle me this. Atleti B absolutely batter us. Food for thought.

Bilbao’s 4-1 home loss raises concerns about the team’s performance.

Is it time to panic? Of course not. We’ve already got 12 points so we will almost certainly eclipse our real life counterparts, which was a given. I have bigger plans for these lads. So where are we struggling?

Fernandez Sergio is a Spanish Under 21 International who I have trusted alongside Nikiforov. Niki will be back in a week so maybe it’s time for Teddy Lucic to partner him permanently. It seems too early to make huge decisions. That said, it’s transfer deadline time.

Poyatos is 31. This feels like a sensible sell.

His replacement is 15 years younger and £2.35 million cheaper.

Might be one for the B Team…

Right, now it’s a crisis.

It’s a rescue mission for the second leg. I’ve changed the goalkeeper. He concedes after 3 minutes. There is a recovery to at least win the game but away goals mean we are out.

An uninspiring draw with bottom of the table Betis does little to improve the mood.

Four months out for Bakayoko. Don’t cry for me, I’m already dead.

Let’s look on the bright side, as we bring this episode to a close. We’re fifth!

Moreover, we’ve equalled the record low points tally already. So unless we suffer 31 losses in a row, we’ll beat that incredibly low bar.

It’s good to be back. I have a job on here, I think, so let’s see if it’s possible to make a success of the Gijon men. See you next week for more.