Hello and welcome back to another week of are they still here. Yes. Yes, we are. Where’s Philip though? F*** knows. If you missed last week, and you want the sensation of rubbing broken glass in your eyes, well, you can catch up here.

How did we leave the table last week?

There’s a break away two at the top, can they be caught? The answer would appear to be ‘no they f****** can’t’.

Barnes is runaway top scorer at the minute, he just can’t be stopped. Moran and Sturridge make it a bit more respectable for Deano, but Rob can’t be unhappy with that. Zak’s new-look Port Vale tactics get obliterated by the headless chicken that is Birmingham ’95.

Nick’s Rotherham, bother ‘em with a classic 4-4-2 direct. It seems to be working. Too out of shape to throw more than one punch, Nick’s boys kill Carlisle with boredom.

Elsewhere, we’re back on our feet away to Nath’s Stoke side, who are frankly, a massive let down to what we thought pre-draw.

Rounding up our sorry little match week its Ross and Matt (who didn’t turn up in homage to Philip). It seemed to have helped.

So, with those fixtures out of the way, its safe to say the top two look like they’ll continue to pull away from us all. Did I speak too soon? Yes, yes, I did. Deano’s boys pull it out the bag to get a point in the 89^th minute in the home away game. Over 10,000 confused people turned up not knowing who the f*** they were cheering for.

My Grimsby lads back to full strength stuck it to the artist formerly known as iPhone 7/Ringo. They were Slaven away but Nogan struck another winner for us.

Nick’s lads bore another team into submission.

And Rob takes advantage of Phil’s slip up at his alter-ego. Poor Ross is having an awful time of it.

Finally in this match week, Dave’s Carlisle side have the perfect warm up for their Coca-Cola Cup final against Rangers…a f*** off journey down to Swansea.

Coca-Cola Cup Final

The fans can’t believe their luck, a proper cup final. Jansen and Delap will face off against Sol Campbell and Amoruso. This Rangers team is stacked with talent. Will Dave have enough in his locker? No.

A valiant effort none the less, if only Matt Jansen could score. That runners-up medal will probably ensure manager of the month number 4 on the bounce.

It’s our final run of league games and we get off to one hell of a start.

Ding dong…thankfully, Rob is up next to show us how it’s done. Managing to have 2 chalked out for offside too. He is unplayable at the minute.

Ringo stars in the next clash, but its Stoke who take the points on a cold Scottish night at Vale Park.

Unfortunately for Nick, the boredom doesn’t pay off this week. 679 people momentarily forgot what they were doing.

We close out the final match week in this update with our managerless side smashing away another win. Is it fair? Are we all rooting for Rob? Who knows…

And with that the table is thus:

The sack race is on…

And with that we bring another action-packed week to a close. The league has broken out into three pockets of competition. The good, the bad and the downright ugly. If you still don’t find us insufferable, we’ll be back soon.