With Darlington on the verge of a Premier League title, the 2005/2006 season was already shaping up to be a memorable one. Add in the spice of a World Cup in England and a dash of Manchester United trying to retain the Champions League, and that makes for one mighty update. On we go then…

League Cup

West Ham take the pointless honour this year, former Lazio man Deane Bullock getting the all important goal.

As much as I’d love to dwell on this, let’s move on. Quickly.

FA Cup

Unfortunately, my cup defence was brought to an end at the semi final stage

West Ham’s dream of winning both cups is shattered by Wolves, who will take on the Everton all stars in the final.

Look at that Everton team for goodness sakes, CM legends wherever you look. Wolves don’t have a bad team but they can’t beat Hockaday.

Premier League

I’m delighted to tell you Darlington are Premier League Champions. 9 seasons it has taken to go from Division 3 to champions of England, which I’m fairly happy with. It came down to the final day of the season, where a draw at home to Man Utd was enough to clinch the title

The re-gen of Ronald De Boer writes himself into history

It’s a bad day for Man Utd, who are overhauled by their neighbours to lose 2nd spot. They do have a Champions League final to play though which could yet keep Gordon Milne’s team in the competition next season.

We were helped by the addition of this Community XI goalkeeper

Whilst City went for Morientes to get them over the line

Champions League

Zidane might have disgraced himself on the biggest stage in 2006 but here he wins Juve the trophy

Unsurprisingly captain Kieron Dyer comes up short.

It’s a double disaster for English teams as George Graham’s Sheff Wed come up short in the UEFA Cup final.

With that, here is the final table in the Premier League just to bring closure to the domestic season

The three way tie for that second Champions League spot was ridiculously close, with all three teams on +26. Brian Flynn’s Everton were so good defensively, with just 17 conceded all season, but they will have to make do with a UEFA cup spot, as will Manchester United.

It’s great news for the South Coast pair, who survive at the expense of Peter Beardsley’s Boro. Remarkably, Pedro hasn’t retired!

Here’s a look at the squad that made me famous

So with all the T’s crossed and the I’s dotted, let’s move on to the main event of the summer – The World Cup.

World Cup

With England as hosts and Nigeria as holders, it’s like no World Cup I’ve seen. England are in buoyant mood and with two Darlo players in the squad, what is there to lose?

First up is a tough looking game with the Dutch

With the keeper dismissed it’s a minor miracle England win this, with our very own Michael Owen climbing off the bench to score the winner.

Oakes (Gazza) might be a star player for England but they don’t play him. AC Milan want some of that

He is very injury prone but I’m not going to get anybody better, so he stays.

The Swiss are here to keep things neutral

Not to worry though, a win over Chile will see them through

It’s not such good news for the holders though, who bow out without scoring a goal

The groups end up as follows then:

Holland and Russia join Nigeria as surprise failures, but England, Scotland & Ireland continue to fly the flag for the home nations. Italy, under Alex Ferguson, will look to win the World Cup they really won. Here’s the path to glory:

England and Scotland are on for a battle of Britain in the Quarter finals if both beat mediocre opponents. Brazil vs Portugal is the pick of the clashes.

England ease through

But the Germans don’t! Beaten by the Swiss

Roland Kunze indeed. The rest of the ties go to form, to set up some great last 8 matches.Three home nations present!

So the battle of Britain at the top of the draw but also Ferguson vs Ireland in the bottom half.

RIOTS

Ryan McGivern, of Darlington, puts himself in history as England fluff their lines. It’s about time Hoddle was sacked and I had a crack at this, no?

Denmark stun Brazil in extra time

Whilst Sir Alex brings some of that Manchester United spirit to score twice late on to deny Ireland. It could be a Scotland vs Scotland final at this rate

So Scotland or Denmark are going to be in the final, who thought that would be the way of it?

Dissappointing for Scotland then, the Danes will get the chance to add to their Euro 92 title.

In a re-run of the real 2006 final, Italy & France clash in the semis.

No Zidane in sight though and once again it is Italy who prevail. Sir Alex is on the verge of adding the World Cup to everything else he has won in England.

Firstly though, Scotland finish 3rd

So, the World Cup final. It was written that Italy would win it, really

1-0 all round. Sir Alex becomes untouchable. I’ll sell a defender in disgust

It’ll be Argentina 2010, sorry South Africa.

Here’s the awards to finish:

I didn’t win a thing for my title success, but I can’t argue with Antoine Sibierski as football of the year. Brian Little, a blog favourite, takes Division 1 manager of the year to the surprise of nobody.

Phew. I’m ready for a rest after all of that but please do join us again for next season, as I’ll try and take Darlo to Champions League glory and who knows, maybe Hoddle will get fired before 2010?