Hello! The saved game might be finished but there’s still lots more to come on CM9798.co.uk. Here’s a look at where each of the current crop of managers plying their trade in the Premier League can be found on CM9798.

Eddie Howe

Before Eddie Howe was deemed the best young manager who ever stepped foot on planet Earth (we’ll all ignore his stint at Burnley), young Eddie used to play a bit too. His stats aren’t that bad for a centre half – decent position, heading & strength but Division 2 Bournemouth are having none of it. He’s on the transfer list. If only you knew what was coming lads.

Arsene Wenger

We all know where Wenger is. Where he’ll always be. Manager of Arsenal – nothing to see here, folks.

Sean Dyche

Dyche, Dyche baby. The versatile Sean Dyche moved to Bristol City for the 1997/98 season and plays alongside such luminaries as Paul Tisdale, Brian Tinnion and Shaun Goater. The whereabouts of his goatee and the graveliness of his voice are not include in the stats unfortunately but that flair stat seems unlikely.

Antonio Conte

Now, this is a player. Conte is a vital part of Juventus’ all star squad, sharing a midfield with Davids, Deschamps, Zidane…and a young Fabio Pecchia, who went on to be Rafa Benitez’ assistant at Real Madrid. Pointless fact. Anyway, Conte sits top of the Premier League as of this writing but whether he celebrates every goal with as much vigour when he was playing, I am yet to find out.

Alan Pardew

Currently hanging onto his job at Crystal Palace, the Pardy man was clinging on to his playing career to start 97/98. Having left his role as player-coach at Barnet the previous season, he went on to move to Reading with manager Terry Bullivant. Wisely, looking at his stats, he never made an appearance. He’s nursing a bruished thigh here – someone else’s fault, of course.

Ronald Koeman

Koeman retired at the end of the 1996/97 season so he shouldn’t be in CM9798. However, luckily for me/you he’s in the database just in case he had decided to carry on.

I’ve therefore un-retired him for the sake of this article. His stats are feast or famine, but really this is a guy who is one of the top scoring defenders of all time who spent most of his career playing at sweeper, you’d be fairly daft to use him as an out and out centre back as he apparently can’t run or head. Maybe that is why he called it a day.

Mike Phelan

Mike Phelan has an England cap!? Apparently he got it in 1989 against Italy – mamma mia. Worryingly, Wiki seems to think he retired in 1995 and went into being assistant manager at a variety of clubs, most famously Manchester United. I would like to buy him a pint for the time he popped that balloon next to Fergie, fair play for that. Hull are a bit of a mess and Mike was the only man who’d take it on. Brave or stupid? We’ll know in May, but I won’t be signing him on 9798.

Claudio Ranieri

Ranieri is 65 and retired in 1986. He’s on the game, managing Valencia, but even on CM9798 he didn’t win the league with Leicester.

Jurgen Klopp

Klopp started his career as a striker but gave that up to be a defender in 1995. Even in the mid 90s he was being a bit zany. In all seriousness, Klopp’s style of football is great but I don’t think anybody saw it coming back in 1997. His stats are quite average and I’m disappointed they don’t have him as a defender/striker, like a German Dion Dublin.

Pep Guardiola

Ah, Pep. Or Josep as he was back then. Guardiola was a world class midfielder in 1997 and it should come as no surprise that he went on to be a great manager. The Barcelona team on this game also includes Luis Enrique, who is one of the managers to succeed Pep at Barcelona, but also Juan Antonio Pizza who has gone on to be the manager of Chile. Of course. I can’t tell you anything about Guardiola you don’t know already, I’m afraid.

Jose Mourinho

The Special One was the Special Number Two back in 1997, being an assistant manager at Barcelona having worked with Sir Bobby Robson the previous season. You don’t need me to tell you about this man.

Aitor Karanka

I’m not really sure what took Aitor Karanka to Middlesbrough but he was assistant to Jouse Mourinho at Real Madrid before that. Having achieved his first cap for Spain in 1995, that somewhat surprisingly was the only time he played for his country, although he was largely a backup at Real Madrid. Before he was randomly walking out his players before leading them to promotion months later, Karanka was setting a trend by finishing his career in 1996 in the MLS at Colorado Rapids. With his aggression and strength at 20, he might have been better suited to a career in UFC.

Claude Puel

Southampton boss Puel retired in 1996 and went on to manager Monaco in 1999. He spent his whole playing career but I can’t find him on 9798 in any capacity

Mark Hughes

Mark ‘Sparky’ Hughes was in the twilight of his career in 1997, but as shown by his injury proneness of 1, he was still very durable and went on to play until 2002. I’m going to go out on a limb here – Mark Hughes is under appreciated as a player. Maybe it’s because he is a very irritating manager, but here’s a guy who played for Man Utd, Barcelona and Bayern Munich amonst others in a 22 year playing career. On 9798, Hughes is a useful foil for Gianfranco Zola and/or Gianluca Vialli, but his determination and influence of 20 show why he went on to be a manager. Some people are made for it.

David Moyes

David Moyes was born in Glasgow. He has a Scottish accent and…likes kilts. Anyway, he’s not English and I have no idea why he is English on the 9798 database. Sack the researcher. Handily, you can help me track this man down as the game names and shames him

Are you Gary N? If so, come and have a chat. Talk me through it. Moyesy though…the Sunderland boss became Preston manager during the 97/98 season and was a player/assistant before that. It’s good that he has high adaptability, that’ll serve him well if he has to work at a big club or abroad. Oh.

Bob Bradley

Bob was out of work in 1997, even if he wasn’t it would have been a leftfield inclusion. He’s been managing since 1981, which seems a long time.

Mauricio Pochettino

Poch spent much of his career playing or managing Espanyol and that is where we find him here. He went on to get 20 caps for Argentina, his stats are fairly solid with good heading and strength and he’s no slouch either. To think, many were outraged when Southampton ditched Nigel Adkins for this guy. Then again, Poch went on to ditch them for Spurs so maybe they were onto something. An undoubtedly astute manager but avery useful centre half in his day.

Walter Mazzarri

The Watford boss wasn’t managing in 1997, having retired in 1995.

Tony Pulis

Pulis was manager of Gillingham in 1997, no doubt setting up with 4 centre halves and 3 holding midfielders just to be careful. Great set pieces though. Usually gets sacked by Gillingham in the first few seasons, however if they ever find themselves in a Premier League relegation fight you can guarantee they’d want him back.

Slaven Bilic

West Ham manager and apaprent legend (49 league appearances…) is at Everton in 1997. He’s a very useful centre half with good defensive stats, and of course went on to the World Cup semi finals in 1998 where he ruined the tournament for Laurent Blanc. I like Bilic, he was a good pundit during Euro 2016 but fundamentally he did sign Zaza, and some things can’t be forgiven.

Welcome! It’s a Wednesday night in 2026 and what else would you rather be doing than celebrating a football miracle? For tonight, Peter Beardsley will receive his 100th England at the ripe old age of 65. It is, quite frankly, ludicrous.

If you’re new to this, allow me to break the magic for a second with a short Q&A.

Q. Why is the old man still playing football – let alone for England?

What I thought was a footballing miracle turned out to be a glitch that the Twitter community (and one man on YouTube) were all too keen to point out to me. If you put a player on your shortlist, he will never retire.

Q. Why was Peter Beardsley on your shortlist you maniac?

I do this to identify old players who retire and then snap up their re-gens for free or a pittance. This backfired.

Q. Does he still play club football even though he is 65?

Well, sort of. He’s player-manager of Premier League Man City. He saves himself for the big games

Q. His stats must be woeful…?

They are.

Q. Why is he in the England team?

When I realised he wasn’t ever going to retire, my new mission in the game/life in general was to get him in my England team and win the World Cup. That actually happened. It was beautiful.

Right, so now you’re all caught up. I can’t say I’m over the moon to Live Text you a friendly between England and the USA, so it’s going to be farcical. Just so you know.

TEAM NEWS

Would you believe it, Beardsley starts.

England: Twiss, Ormerod, Dennis, Hinchcliffe, Limber, Ford, Peake, Cureton, Beardsley, Lee, Musselwhite. Subs: Caesar, Wilkinson, Gallen, Mendes, Cox.

USA: Henderson, Moore, Bent, Mason, Petroski, Kooiman, Balboa, Buskirk, Dooley, Meola, Keller. Subs: Balboa, Petroski, Lassiter, Stewart, Ramos.

Hardly a household name in there, so again, some gaps to fill. Whilst I don’t know who everybody is, Leo Lee is Alan Shearer and Danny Cureton is Paul Merson. Peake is McManaman and Dennis is Kieron Dyer. The rest, I don’t know. The USA have a man called Joe Max Dooley, and the Balboa twins, so I’m all for it.

Beardsley asked not to wear the captains armband tonight and wanted to treat it like any other fixture. It was January 1986 when the man dubbed ‘Pedro’ was given his England debut by Sir Bobby Robson, but few would believe he would still be getting caps 40 years later.

I have no video making ability but fortunately, this man has. Enjoy:

Anyway, we’re getting off piste. There’s a huge game to be won here at Wembley. The players are in the tunnel. Beardsley, ever the professional, requested no pre-match japes so that’ll be a shame for anybody in the party spirit. Hang about, Beardsley isn’t among the team as they take to the pitch. Has he been caught short, in a tribute to 1986 World Cup strike partner Gary Lineker?

Well now I’ve seen everything. Beardsley has his own open top bus!

It’s another classic Beardsley prank. Here’s the teams again for tonight’s game.

(I took that screenshot 1 minute into the game and they’d already messed about.)

The anthems have been observed, immaculately, and it’s kick off time. Incidentally, many of you have asked why the USA are the opponents of choice for such a landmark fixture. Well, Beardsley’s first International goal was scored in Los Angeles back in 1986, and even though that was against Mexico, that’s all I’ve got to work with here people.

KICK OFF – Beardsley kicks us underway, amid a tepid atmosphere.

3 mins – England passing the ball about neatly without threatening. The Wembley crowd, which looks to be about 60,000, have started a chant of ‘Thank you Peter’. How lovely.

8 mins – Finally some action! Leo Lee gets a yard of space in the box but his low shot is well held by Henderson.

12 mins – YELLOW CARD

It’s only a friendly lads! Tony Kooiman goes in the book for a late lunge on Danny Cureton.

15 mins – England are getting closer. Beardsley and Lee combine and again Lee gets a shot away, but this time he is wide of the mark. The England captain is busy though.

18 mins – We’re in a lull, which often happens in International friendlies. Here’s a reminder of England’s group for this summer’s World Cup which is also in Mexico, much like Beardsley’s first in 1986.

23 mins – Some action! USA have a corner which Keller heads wide despite being unmarked. It’s a let off, if that’s the right term.

25 mins – Beardsley! Wide! A glorious opening for the pensioner but he’s fluffed his lines, dragging a shot from the edge of the box wide. It would have been too perfect.

26 mins – Beardsley! Wide! Again! This time Lee knocks down a long diagonal and Beardsley’s snapshot is drilled wide. He’s getting closer.

30 mins – YELLOW CARD

The Americans didn’t come for the love tonight, Meola is in the book for a cynical trip on Pat Dennis.

34 mins – YELLOW CARD

I don’t believe this. The referee has booked Beardsley! It’s a forwards challenge, and he’s older than everything, but no sympathy is given and it’s a yellow for Beardsley.

36 mins – Crossbar! Leo Lee meets a Peake cross with a thumping header but it only meets the crossbar. Still 0-0.

40 mins – Beardsley is desperate to score tonight, even if he won’t admit it. He’s on a mazy run here but he puts his shot wide whilst stretching. Unlucky son.

43 mins – We’re fizzling out to half time here. Make plans for tea.

HALF TIME – England 0 – 0 USA

Not a classic. Unless you are Peter Beardsley.

England have definitely had the better of it, but there’s been nothing to get excited about.

I imagine this was a great game though

You can play as any of the 34 International teams on the game. Wowsa. Join us next week on http://www.peterbeardsleysinternationalfootball.co.uk for a new blog*

*not really

Anyway, away from this half time stupidity, the second half is upon us

KICK OFF – USA get us back underway here at Wembley.

49 mins – There’s a football match going on, I almost forgot. Patrick Dennis heads over Cureton’s corner. That’s actually a decent chance. Oh well.

53 mins- YELLOW CARD

Peter Bent is the latest to fall victim to a referee who has no tolerance in a friendly match. Bent is booked for fouling Lee Peake.

56 mins – Literally nothing is happening. Even Beardsley looks bored. To be fair, he has a Man City team to prepare for the weekend and instead he is here.

59 mins – YELLOW CARD

Patrick Dennis is in the book for tripping Michael van Buskirk. That is a tremendous name, but that doesn’t mean you should get booked for fouling him.

65 mins – The Wembley crowd are on their feet on 65 minutes as a tribute to Beardsley, who is of course 65. I suppose they couldn’t do it on 100 minutes, if we’re still playing on minute 100 after this stinker there’ll be a lot of glum faces and an empty stadium. Anyway, Beardsley looks thrilled

England of course wearing their throwback kit tonight…

70 mins – SUBSTITUTION

England freshen things up with two changes. Veteran Roy mendes replaces Leo Lee whilst other veteran Justin Cox replaces Charlie Ormerod. Of course, neither are as veterany as Beardsley, who takes the armband.

76 mins – Still we meander on, going nowhere in a hurry. Are we going to see a goal?

79 mins – GOAL! England 1 – 0 USA (Cox)

COX shouts the commentator. Whilst I surpress a childish giggle, England have scored. Beardsley is at the heart of it, exchanging passes with Mendes (combined age 99) before seeing his shot spilled by the keeper. It falls to the Valencia man Justin Cox, who you may recall scored the winner in the World Cup final of 2022, who gleefully taps home. Everyone piles on Beardsley in celebration, which is a risk when you consider he is 65 (but that strength of 11 will see him through).

84 mins – England playing keep ball now. Nobody cares.

86 mins – SUBSTITUTION

Another two changes, Simon Gallen is on for Patrick Dennis followed by Andy Caesar replacing Pat Limber.

88 mins – The USA nearly becomes extreme party-poopers but John Moore heads over. The full back was a long way forward there, but his header was just off target. Hopefully there is no stoppage time.

90 mins – 1 minute added on, as a courtesy presumably.

FULL TIME – England 1 – 0 USA

A dull match but Beardsley got a decent turn out for the big occasion. Denny Cureton gets man of the match, which is probably fair.

Such a dull match, I don’t know why the USA bothered.

So, with little else to say, that wraps up tonight’s shenanigans. Peter is glad you came

In all seriousness though, we’ve got a couple of posts left before we reach the end, so to be able to bring you an occasion such as this is a real pleasure. Toodles for now