In the words of Michael the Geordie: What’s it all aboot? Explanation is here and last week’s effort can be found here

Welcome back to our little experiment. This team of young freebies have acquitted themselves well in Division 3, and we’ve got an outside shot of a playoff spot. We’re off to Lincoln though, who are also in the mix. Here’s the table as it stands:

It turns out to be our first defeat for a while. No shame, though sideshow Luke Perry (not his real name) gets sent off just minutes after coming on. He’s really useless.

With Morrison crocked for the foreseeable future, Twitter has told me to get Michael Twiss. He was in Man Utd’s academy and it seems everybody else in that position seems to do ok. Though he’s still on a free in February, so how good can he really be?

Got to love that flair. He makes his debut at home to Cardiff, who are 3rd. We go behind but that just sparks us into action, admittedly against 10 men. Twiss nets on his debut. What a day.

Slowly working our way up the table and 2nd place Hull are our next opponents. Nobody will want to play us in this form. Another win, another grand day out, we are the greatest academy of them all.

Barnet are not in the top 7 so it’s finally a break in this ridiculous fixture list. So you know the result…

Pah. Jeff Brazier even scored. We bounce back at Field Mill and you know, maybe we could get automatic promotion?

Or bigger teams will realise we have some great players coming through. Premier League Bolton want the boy Simpson. He’s been an absolute rock at the heart of my defence since he joined part way through the season

It’s not just Bolton either. Man City and Barnsley join the race and he picks Man City. Boo to you, Gary. Our third graduate.

He played 16 times but was a real leader, looking at his stats he was your stereotypical shithouse football league defender. GET RID.

Nevermind though. McCaffrey has recovered, so he’ll be ba…oh ffs

Stoke and Norwich also come in and faced with an impossible choice of choosing between Huddersfield, Stoke and Norwich, he picks Stoke.

I need deadline day reinforcements and I choose this man.

He wants £12k a week but seeing as we don’t spend transfer fees I’m more than happy to pay him it. Welcome aboard.

We face Chester and lose two more to injury. Fatigue starting to show for the young lads, I think. A point is not the best result.

We’re 2-0 up at Torquay but end up losing 3-2. Some things never change.

With 6 games to go it’s not going to be automatic promotion but the playoffs are…possible.

Exeter are in a similar position to us and they should really beat us but big Davies climbs off the bench to steal us a point. It could be vital.

Spotland on Easter Monday, why don’t you try and stop me? Kevin Lisbie looks like taking points off us but the boy Twiss pops up with a late winner. Great recommendation!

We shared 9 goals with Cambridge earlier in the season and we share just the 8 here. Thankfully, 6 of them are ours. Inexplicably, Davies nets 4 of them. The Welsh Dion Dublin. That momentum is back as we pass 100 league goals for the season.

It’s Shrewsbury away next and they are 2nd but we have a stroke of luck – most of their attacking options are out!

It’s like taking candy from a particularly depleted baby. Davies’ odd scoring run continues and it’s a big win at the Meadow.

Two games to go then and it’s in our hands. Hartlepool threaten to ruin us but Cassin climbs off the bench to score twice. Somebody always comes up with the goods.

The final game of the season is against Peterborough, who also in the playoff places. That’s a tough game, a point will secure us a spot but we might be ok even with a loss depending on other results. As it is, Pearson comes up with the goods.

Yippeee, 6th! But that means we’ll play Peterborough. Again.

So we are at London Road, again. But it’s not the party it was 5 days earlier. Pearson nabs us an away goal but bloody hell, we have a mountain to climb.

A bad weekend is made even worse with Monday’s training session

NOT JEFF!

All we have to do is turn around a 3-1 deficit without our engine room. I tell the lads what I tell myself every day – Do it for Jeff Brazier.

And they bloody well do!

Guevara is out for 6 weeks. Dropping like flies. But what a result! We go behind early on but drag it back to force extra time. Buckley wins it in the first half of extra time. We’re going to Wembley!

Leyton Orient are awaiting. They still don’t play Heidenstrom, which is inexplicable, but they have Malky Mackay. We however have Chris Pearson, who scores his 38th and 39th goals for the club. He hits the post in the 86th minute to deny him his 40th. Who cares. We’re going up!

In the words of Susan Boyle…PEARSIE BABY

The average ratings are nothing special. Obviously Simpson’s dwarfed all of them but he’s not here.

As I prepare for  life in Division 2, it’s worth noting that Gerard “£12k a week” Lyttle is wanted by 4 Premier League clubs. Gulp. Ryan Morrison is interesting a trio of Division 1 clubs, so we’re going to be quids in this summer. Let’s just hope there’s some good freebies available. In a world where Riccy Scimeca is the PFA Player of the Year, anything is possible.

See you next time for life in Division 2. The challenge is about to crank up a notch.

Hall of Graduates

Danny Gee – Graduated October 97, played 4 times for Swindon (Div 1)

Lee Norfolk – Graduated February 98, played 10 times for Huddersfield (Div 1)

Gary Simpson – Graduated March 98, played 10 times for Man City (Division 1)

Stuart McCaffrey – Graduated March 98, played 6 times for Stoke. (Division 1)