You may recall Andrew did the impossible and kept Barnsley in the Premier League. Not satisfied with one miracle, he’s setting about keeping them there using only the players Barnsley really signed. Catch up with how Andrew kept them in the Premier League here.

Hello and welcome back to another adventure in deepest darkest Yorkshire! Last time out you found us dreaming of and delivering on the impossible; turning the clock back to 1997, unpicking the mistakes of Danny Wilson, and ensuring Barnsley’s survival against the odds in their debut Premier League season with the original squad only.

As you’ll no doubt be aware, it all ended so tragically in real life. So, to follow-up with a rather more impossible feat again, we’ll be looking to repeat the feat, only allowing ourselves to sign players whom John Hendrie’s Barnsley signed for their First Division season of 1998-99.

This means, the list of possible signings are;

Fumaca, Bruce Dyer, Alan Moore, Deon Burton, Don Goodman, Craig Hignett, Mike Sheron, Robin van der Laan, Clayton Blackmore, Scott Jones, Pirri, Chris Barker, Jon Parkin, Brian O’Callaghan, Rory Fallon, Paul Bagshaw, Marc Heckingbottom, Paul Kennedy, or Richard Siddall (if they exist in the database anyway).

And to top that off, the players we must sell, or release (or just plain ignore) are;

Neil Redfearn, Andy Liddell, Jan Age Fjortoft, Jon Perry, Neil Thompson, Laurens Ten-Heuval, Govo Bosancic, Deane Bullock, Rory Prendergast, Dean Jones and Ashley Ward.

That…seems like it will inevitably end in pain. We can play Fjortoft and Andy Liddell until we sell them given they went mid-season in reality, but Redfearn mustn’t be played.

We’ll try our best to offload the players for sale in player exchanges to avoid offending the board/destroying our budget if we cannot shift them.

So far our preparatory mission is going great guns…

No thanks. Meanwhile Hristov has had his work permit declined. And we have shifted Ashley Ward.

Pre-season rings some massive alarm bells. If we manage to survive then this will be the biggest escape on record. However, I have a feeling we’ll be propping the table up/getting sacked. Okay, that confirms it, we’re done for…

F****** hell lads I said to keep it nice and sensible! Well we make our way to Filbert Street with absolutely ground zero expectations, and to my surprise we dominate proceedings, have three cleared off the line and come away with a respectable 0-0 draw against a Leicester side that finished 10^th last season.

Our first game at Oakwell and we earn another shut-out where we’ve kept West Ham down to just one chance all game. I’m calling that another point in the bag!

We make our first signing of the season as Mike Sheron becomes available for a cool £1.1m, a proven goal scorer in the First Division (that will keep the punters happy…), can he help us survive in the Premier League?

Looking at the positive, we have our first goal! We follow it up by dropping points to 9^th placed Sunderland. Sheron spurned a 89^th minute open goal too.

We get off lightly at Stamford Bridge:

It seems that, for love nor money, we cannot buy a goal. Tottenham practically begged us to win and we stubbornly (how very Yorkshire of us) refused.

Onwards and downwards we march. Brad Friedel prevents us from getting a point. Kluivert, Sevchenko and co squeeze over the line.

Sandwiched in-between our absolute epic failures in the Premier League we manage a 1-0 win over Bury in the League Cup. Next up Derby County come-a-calling and it has all the trappings of the Sunderland game, 1-0 up, cruising, throw it away.

4^th placed Aston Villa are the next side to add to our shame at the foot of the table as the only winless team in the division (it was 2-0). That said, the gap to safety isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

It’s a classic top vs. bottom, and we pull out all the stops, dominate the game, but our inability to score continues to plague us. Note again, the opposing ‘keeper getting man of the match. The positive…we’re now 19^th (unlucky Coventry).

We advance thanks to a draw in the League Cup vs. Bury. John Hendrie gets scythed down and is out with a groin injury for three months, the last thing we needed after putting in a great shift at Man Utd. No doubt he’ll be out on the hoy too and come back in a fine shape…

Another action packed Yorkshire derby…at least we didn’t lose, but that’s more points pissed away. Mike Sheron still to set the Premier League alight. In other news, Art imitates life as Malcolm Crosby takes over from Denis Smith…

Oh my I’ve gone all dizzy…we double our goals tally in one game as Boro get terrorised by the Tykes! Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeron!!!

We follow up with a predictable 1-0 loss to mid-table Blackburn having spurned chance after chance, normal service has been resumed! A break from the stress as we visit Division 3 Macclesfield to secure a 3-0 victory and reach the League Cup 4^th round. But the big end to October is a battle at the bottom as we take on 20^th placed Coventry in a real 6 pointer.

It started so well, and we dominated the game, but it was all ruined in a very short spell.

And with that, October comes to a close. I would estimate our chances of survival as 1 in 100 at this point. That said we’ve improved and taken 5 points from the last 15 which is over half our total to date. We’re also only 4 points from safety despite our abysmal form.

Defensively we are actually very sound, and it’s no wonder big clubs are circling for the man from Leek Town (Tony Bullock) and Adi Moses who are phenomenal. Up top Sheron is certainly no Shearer, and as the shortlist goes, only Clayton Blackmore remains available when I could desperately do with Goodman, Burton or Dyer to mix things up in front of goal.

The board have a clear understanding that I’m trying to keep a team that finished 13^th in the First Division in real life in the Premier League. So, please stay with us and we’ll see you next time to see if we can make it through winter within touching distance of our ridiculous goal!

You can follow Andrew on Twitter @kingoftherooks