Hey there! Do you remember when the Retirement Home won the league? That was two weeks ago. We’re not doing a very good job of defending our title but for another 26 games, we’ll still be champions. Or maybe you’re about to see the greatest of all comebacks…

On this evidence I’d say that’s unlikely. Losing those three centre backs has effected us badly. We’ve lost those stubborn qualities we once had.

Still, in Europe we’re quite good. This win away at Sparta basically puts us into the last 8.

Defeat at Bradford takes me back to the bad old days. We’re going nowhere…quite literally Lynn, I’m on the ring road.

Back to winning ways in the league as Ronaldo and the Gronk see us past Middlesbrough. Hurrah for nearly but not quite throwing away a two goal lead.

Galatasaray haven’t been great in the group but they come back from 2-0 down to cause us some problems. Zola wins it and then he asks to move to a bigger club. No, ffs.

Derby have a player called Dave Plug which I think is what I’d call myself if I was an electrician. He lights up Pride Park before Linton travel tavern makes it 2-0.

Goodbye Pointless Cup, you’ve been a waste of time as always.

The Gronk! He’s still got it. Walsall however, do not.

Huge news from Manchester as Alex Ferguson finally resigns.

Even bigger news from Romania where we recover from conceding two goals in the opening four minutes to win and top our group. OGS netting a hat-trick must be some sort of Champions League record for his age.

AaB in the quarters. Like I’ve said before, the Scandinavian teams are like bloody Goldberg by this point in a save.

Oh yeah confirmation of the group. Sparta getting through with 10 points doesn’t reflect well on the other groups.

Lads. LADS? This was woeful.

Well, this makes sense. Chelsea have been in division 1 for about 4 years but I’m sure that’s not Roy’s fault.

We briefly rally from 2-0 down against Liverpool but they go back ahead from the kick off. That’s annoying.

A much needed three points eases our relegation worries.

Moore is banned for our trip to Old Trafford and Richard Wright makes his debut. It goes about as well as you might expect.

I’ve found a 35 year old defender! We are very short in that area. Welcome, Duncy.

This guy looks amazing but there’s 4 or 5 of them in a save and they have ability of 1. Still, he’s 35 which is my only criteria.

We’ve been dealt a rough FA Cup draw away at Premier League Middlesbrough and despite a valiant effort, we won’t be winning that either.

Thankfully, Ipswich are poor away from home and we manage to beat them. Ronaldo is slowly coming into form.

We get thrashed at Newcastle. Urgh. We just can’t defend anymore.

All of that leaves us a miserable 13th in the table, probably far enough above the relegation zone to not be worried but quite far away from anywhere fun. We’ll always have the Champions League though!

Worth noting that Bradford beat us, so that bodes well. We’ll finish the season next week but where do we go from here? I don’t think we can go any further than this. I’ll try and round it to 50 episodes because 49 MESSES WITH MY BRAIN but we’ll see how that works out. See you next week. It might be emotional.