Welcome back to Niall Quinn’s continuous disco, also known as Sunderland AFC in 1997. As far as disco’s go, real life was the true disappointment of staying until the lights come on. In this case, they went out on quite the roller-coaster. If you missed last week’s start to the season, or need a reminder of the challenge we’ve set ourselves, you can catch up here.

Our options are taking a battering. Nicky Summerbee has been a tremendous creator. At the time many compared him to Beckham in his ability to whip a cross, but also to Le Tissier in his demeanour and perceived lack of work ethic. Also, ‘Sub-par’ Kevin Phillips:

Excuse me for recycling an oft used terrible joke, but we play up against Pompey. The underrated Italian gets on the scoresheet, the margarita of footballers, predictable but reliable.

Williams is struggling to get through the gates these days, his head so big from 4 appearances.

We’ve settled on an old classic, given injuries and that despite positioning Summerbee appears to do better in what really should be an AMC/FC position.

The lads have been complaining about lack of room service on our travels, despite living on Greggs, Cheesy Chips and an endless supply of cowies. We’d like to call in a butler one season early, but he’s unavailable:

We’ll wait. A Rae of sunshine gets us the spoils at Edgeley Park (yes, once upon a time Stockport really were on the cusp of the Premier League!), not that you’d say that to look at the man.

We’re into the 3^rd round of the League Cup as real life, but we pay an expensive price.

And we proceed to get diddled at home to Tranmere. We left the sneck up.

We recover by getting some pre-revenge for a future that probably doesn’t exist. And even then, the man from Grangetown tries to spoil it for us.

With players missing on international duty, the scourge of 2^nd tier sides, we put in an abysmal effort having adjusted to 4-3-3. A re-taken penalty and some crap nineties finishing included to boot.

There’s clearly no party without a disco. What I wouldn’t give for just a few possible signings to be available or interested. We falter into the playoff spots.

We’ve got 9 more points than the miserable adopted Mackem did after 15 games, but we’re halfway to the same number of defeats. We need to pull our socks up and put a good run together.

Transfer Update: only Marcus Stewart was stupid enough to join us, and even then, seems like he was after a big pay day and some nights out at Beach.

Ipswich get the cm9798 treatment, as in, being the superior side all day long, and lose.

Dichio setup Dickie-O and we were on our way, on our way. We follow up, in the most Sunderland way possible. Losing to a terrible West Brom side. Karma? Dead and Bury’d…we’re like a watched pot.

Stoke, and particularly Big Nev, provides us with some home comforts. Disco gets the party started.

We’re into the 4^th round of the League Cup, another win over the tractor boys. We’ve at least bettered the real-life Reid in one competition. Our reward is a trip to Portsmouth. A bit like being sent to Coventry, but worse. We shed a McTear:

The stallion keeps the show on the road as they’re Swin-done! That has to be the worst colour combo in CM9798, you can hardly read it.

And with that we reach 20 games. We’re hanging in the title fight, but we’ve wavered. Dichio, Quinn and Bridges have 30+ goals between them, but our defence is letting us down (ala real life) so we’ve been forced to switch it up.

Hopefully we can claw a few results and get back into the automatic spots. I wouldn’t mind a trip to Wembley for sentiments sake, however.

Cheer up Peter, it could be worse, we could be ‘Boro. Forest have been tight all season, take away the 3 we put past them and they’re even stingier. I tell the lads haway and to keep going, if we get promoted Bob and the board promised an end of season trip to Blackpool, no expense spared. Will they appreciate it? Find out next time marras.

You can follow Andrew on twitter: @KingOfTheRooks