Haway in me marras! Welcome back to another episode of “boy, this is a struggle” brought to you from the beautiful and scenic Wearside. Trying to be Peter Reid is hard. If you want to feel my pain, you can catch up with last week here. Last time out we played around with the formation and personnel and improved our form – just not enough to keep out the relegation zone, but it feels promising:

We could do with a run of decent opportunities. This feels like a kick-in the teeth.

Unexpected.

That said, another injury is just what we need. Well, that’s him off on the p*** round town for a few months.

If you believe Lee Howey, he’ll be starting fights then running away too. Probably whilst doing an imitation of his trademark stepover. The deadline draws near we can finally get some bids in.

Another day another dollar. What we really mean is, another injury. I’m calling it, nobody wants to play because we’re s**** so their feigning it.

Carteron rejects us, but its welcome aboard to Hutchison and Oster. Get your armbands on lads. Aaaaaand…

He’s seen enough already. I’m beginning to think that we have a serious goalie problem.

Along with some comical finishing. It all bodes soo well. The board are high on cowies.

Christ. What on earth can we do?

Survival is going well…

And there’s always a helping hand from the bowls of the game itself…

That is particularly brutal as Rae has been the only player with any real credit to his name all season. But this…I like this:

Well. Except for the season ending injury. Broken jaw. What a way to go. Not a card in sight for the challenge. The result matters not, Barnsley win too. We follow it up in the only fashion we know.

The lights are on, but the music has stopped playing. Disco is dead. This is an abomination. Rosler with two on target and two scored – he makes it three in the end.

It’s one last roll of the dice, the Cruyff is going nowhere, so we go 2-2-2-2-2 Direct.

Also, Weaver is back so Perez and go get his hair cut or something.

Stewart hasn’t scored in so long he buries one in his own net. But the result is welcome. Dichio back on the scoresheet. It’s a fine line and Barnsley are pulling away.

Coventry getting dragged in. It’s Liverpool next and Weaver has the best game I’ve ever seen.

Only a win against Spurs now will do to keep it in our own hands.

And Luke Weaver plays another blinder!

Don’t you know pump it up, Black Cats are staying up!

Naturally the board are delighted but unhappy with the league position. We’re staying up and 2-2-2-2-2 Direct is staying. The ratings are woeful.

As are all the other stats.

This chap comes out looking pretty good though.

And whilst I’d love to show you the end of season awards (we didn’t win any) my OneDrive failed and the screen shots didn’t save. The board spent £11m on new seats to take the capacity up to 54,000, because everyone is eager to see another relegation battle! And Disco retired at 32 years old. I think we’ll give this one more season. If we can just finish at least 7^th! See you next time marras!

You can follow Andrew on twitter: @KingOfTheRooks