Monday has been Zak day for some time but now my sabbatical is over I feel the need to point it out. Keep up the good work and let’s see what Plymouth are up to today…

Welcome back, Champers. Niall Warnock has followed brother Neil’s lead, and is settling into life on the South Coast. Our Plymouth side currently occupy twelfth, being propelled by the regenerated incarnations of Paul Gascoigne, Teddy Sheringham, Nicky Forster and Tim Sherwood.

We start this episode against table-toppers York City. An early goal from young Nicky Forster (Pates) is not enough to prevent York winning. One of my ex-players Paul Wanless scores against me. Fair play, lad.

We get back on track quickly courtesy of Teddy Sheringham junior. A 90th minute goal leaves it far too late for my comfort!

The clean sheet would be the last for Irish goalkeeper Rory McElhatton, as I cash-in for £2.8million. It means I’m short between the sticks.

This is how the squad now looks. The cash gives me a chance to strengthen, though I will need a new goalkeeper as a priority.

A double from teachers’ pet George Ndah helps us to a 4-1 win over promotion rivals Cambridge. The Clegg red certainly helped move things along!

We lost our opening Windscreen Shield match at Fulham. The late red for Gazza junior will mean a suspension down-the-line. Fulham are a league above us, so the tight defeat is no shame.

We have a rough run of games, now taking on third-placed Hull. 2-0 down at halftime I try to go keeperless for the second half. We draw the half 1-1, but lost the game 3-1.

Chester have a go at twisting the knife. Why do we go through patches like this?

We get back to winning ways thanks to two late goals from young Pates. I have Australian goalkeeper Zeljko Kalac now filling in at no.1 – signed on a free. Kalac spent the last seasons at Portsmouth, in-game. In real life he would play 54 times for the Wallabies, and spent four seasons at AC Milan as back-up to Dida, claiming a Champions League winners medal in 2007.

Kalac keeps a clean sheet at Bishop Auckland, with our Argyle team playing in an unfamiliar white attire.

A packed Home Park is witness to a remarkable win against West Brom. Paul Wotton scoring an unlikely brace from central midfield [in for the suspended McClare/Gazza] is a highlight. It means we qualify for the knock-out rounds.

We keep our cup form going with a win at Bury in the FA Cup first round. It’s another win against higher league opposition.

We finally put a run of form together and get league success against Barnet. George Ndah this time gets a brace after an early goal from Barnet.

Teddy Gooden cuts in from the left to drill home against Hollywood FC. That’s more like it!

It’s a second 1-0 win in a row for the Green Army as fellow division three side Wycombe are beaten in the Windscreen Shield.

In the FA Cup second round we once again travel to an opposition side with a higher league standing. A superb first half performance blows The Stag’s away, and Mansfield have no answer except for a last consolation. The lads are finally in the swing of things.

We lose both our central defenders in the next game at Bournemouth. After making all three subs on the hour mark, I’m left to play out the final 20 mins with ten players. Bournemouth take full advantage and remove a two-goal deficit. It’s season over for young Irish centre half Crawford – a broken leg and 6 months out.

We are forced to play a make-shift central defensive pairing against local rivals Exeter. Dimitry Gradilenko and Paul Wotton help ensure we leave Home Park with three points and local bragging rights. Wotton got a bit heavy in the second half.. no matter, we hold on!

I replace Crawford with my ex-Forest captain Kirk Sorvel. Sorvel found himself out of favor at Villa Park and was available on a reduced fee, after putting in a transfer request. I’m able to introduce David Hopkin to the crowd on the same day. He, randomly, was released mid-season from Forest, having not featured all season.

You can see, since the sale of goalkeeper McElhatton [and £2.8m burning a hole in my proverbial pocket] I’ve slowly introduced more players into the squad. There are a few familiar faces in Danny Murphy and Andy Inglethorpe.

Here’s how the squad now looks;

The final game of this episode sees us draw at home to Darlington. It’s a debut clean sheet for Sorvel, who partners Gradilenko in defense.

That means after 24 games we are nestled in the playoff pack. A little way off the automatic promotion places.

Join us next time as we continue our league ascent with FA Cup and Windscreen Shield games to come. So long, Colin.