It’s the Weekend and, more importantly, Deano has penned episode 4. Hold on to your everything. Happy October.

I stole this feeder club idea from my brother but for the purpose of Dean Smith’s story, let’s make up some more nonsense

Feeder

After missing out of on trophies last season, Mr & Mrs Smith are flown to Japan to explain themselves.

Angry Japanese Government Official: “Why no trophies?”

An infuriated Dean Smith says “Well what do you expect! you told us we can only sign Asian players. The manager’s got no idea who’s good or who’s not, has he? You twats.”

AJGO: “That’s not my problem, my ginger friend’.

DS: “It’s not ginger! I’m strawberry blonde’

AJGO: “Whatever, Chesney”

This conversation is going nowhere, until Mrs Smith offers a solution

“What if you buy another club to try out some Asian players, then if any show promise we’ll buy them for Orient. You win trophies – my husband doesn’t be Japanese. It’s a win-win. Surely you can you see that, tiger?”

Such is the sheer beauty of Mrs Smith’s voice; the Angry Japanese Government Official is mesmerised and changes his tune

Horny Japanese Government Official: “Yes Mrs Smith. Yes. Of course. We buy more club. Excellent idea. Arigato. Who you want us buy?”

Mrs Smith, taking unnecessary blinks: “Well handsome, the newly promoted club hasn’t got any players. You should buy those fuckers and fill their squad with Asian players. Their game time will be as assured as you nipping to the gents for a number 3 as soon as I’m leave.”

HJGO: “Okay, I get my best man on it”

And the newly promoted club purchased is…. Surprise, surprise

Now this is going to be a hatchet job on Kidderminster, so the Japanese appoint the hardest bastard in the country to deal with any backlash.

The Asian recruitment policy goes down like a shit sandwich with the Harriers fans.

The chairman of the Kidderminster Harriers Supporters Trust stands outside the ground with a megaphone telling a small but growing crowd that he disapproves.

E. Honda is angered by the sheer disrespect and takes him out with a flying headbutt.

The rest of the fans quickly disperse and that’s the end of that.

On the International front, Dean Smith has broken into the Japan squad for the first time!

He captains the team earning his first International cap.

Johan Cruyff is the manager of Japan, and a good debut sees Dean Smith make his World Cup squad.

In the Group Stages, Smithy captains Japan to a 5-0 demolition of Cameroon

They follow this up with another 2-0 in against Russia.

And it’s a clean sweep against Mexico!

No goals conceded. Can they go all the way?

No – the Germans knock them out after Extra Time in the Round of 16. Dean Smith was hooked after the hour mark.

Still, Japan and Dean Smith return to Tokyo as heroes.

Back on the domestic front, Leyton Orient’s promotion is secured, and we’ve been recruiting some more Asian talent. We finally stop Yoshi running around rudderless after getting touched by a crab.

He’s happy as Larry reporting for training

Shoji Jo looks a player. I’ve got high hopes for this guy.

Less impressed with the biggest name in Japan; Nakata’s stats are gash but he’s worth a punt.

A few games into the season, E. Honda has signed every Asian player possible for Kidderminster.

And with that the Sumo’s work is done. He fucks off back to Japan. E. Honda wins!

That seems like a good place to leave it for today. Join us next week for Season 2 antics if you’d be so kind.

Smith-O-Meter

MOTP Podcast: “Of course I always wanted to play at the World Cup. Didn’t think it would be with Japan though. I looked at Bjorn and said what the fuck is going on. Ahahahah. But seriously, I still want my passport back.”