Welcome back to my Latin love letter to Newcastle. Last time out season 2 started ok but we are hanging on in Europe and our star man, Julio Geordie picked up an injury to keep him on the sidelines for 3 months.

The table looks like this

First port of call is the League Cup and we’re significantly disappointing

If that was bad, this is even worse….

In 25 years, I think this is a first, even for me. Not one attempt, not even a Geoff Thomas-esque chip. Absolute dog shit.

None of this is great preparation for a trip to Norway and the need to overturn a two goal deficit. Ruben does his best, but that elusive 4th goal proves costly.

It’s not been a good week. Chairman Freddy is incandescent – ‘That were fooking shite man’

I can’t disagree.

We need to improve. The last thing we need is our noisy neighbours coming to toon and stomping all over us. Ohhh….

Our first win in what seems like eons comes at the Reebok Stadium

We do ok against Man Utd at Old Trafford, but we’re really out of sorts and I feel like this rut could go on and on

When Frank Sinclair scores against you, you know it’s only going to go one way

It’s only slightly better against Arsenal, but not much

Julio is back after injury and back on the goal trial but when we are pegged back by Sheffield United of all teams, I decide action is needed.

Freddy agrees to let me spend some money on an Argentine to add some bite to the midfield

The Chilean fella rejects us though

Diego’s reign starts with a yellow and a bore draw.

Finally, we dominate a game!

This should, on paper, be an easy draw, but given our form lately, who knows?

More boring football against Southampton. How I am still in a job is anyone’s guess..

Esteban Valencia has been a bit disappointing since he joined, but to be fair, so has the whole squad. This is a little brighter though

Experimenting with a change of formation may help matters

FA Cup time at Hollywood FC and it’s all looking a bit Mickey Thomas until Julio Geordio saves the day. Could this be my Nottingham Forest? Is Julio my Mark Robins?

My god we have gone shite

There are no easy draws anymore

We can’t change our luck against West Ham, despite Nobby’s efforts

FA Cup time and Derby are always a tricky foe and we’re coming off the back of a dreadful run of form. A change of formation to 3-2-3-2 Direct seems to help and Maradona comes off the bench to chip in the 4th – Hey Maradona!

That’s probably kept me in the job for a little while longer. Division 1 Burnley await in the next round.

Ruben, Ruben, Ruben, Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, know what your doing, doing to me?

Well, with only a third of the season left, even 2nd looks beyond us.

Can this new formation help us finish on a high? Can we qualify for Europe? Will we win the FA Cup? Will I keep my job? Find out next week!