Hello Warnock fans! We’re up to Season 10! Wow, that’s gone fast.

Last time out our Crewe Alexandra side could not escape the Division 1 relegation zone, despite being top of the form table at season-end. Here’s a check-in on the game stats as we chase Neil’s total of 1608 games; The 2005-06 season was not a good season for matches either as our average has gone down. This season will give us a chance in four competitions to get that back up!

First order of business is to find a goal hungry striker who can do a job in Division Two…

Who else?! Our old friend George Ndah is back in Division Two, and raring to go!

We add two Kidderminster old-boys on a free; Nick Barmby and goalkeeper Sebastiano McCrone. We also add a handful of regens including that of Neil Ardley (Luke Hayes), Bryan Robson (Marc Dublin) and two injury prone former England Internationals*… any guesses who?

Here’s how the squad looks as we enter the new season; I add two Argyle youngsters Cec Dunnett (Craig Short) and Anthony Hackett (unknown regen) on loan to swell the numbers.

*Lee Sharpe and Darren Anderton, if you didn’t know!

Our league opener is against Chester City. Remember them, the club that Matt Jansen switched us for… This is how we line up, sticking with the 4-2-2-2 narrow formation.

It’s a tight opener with an even first half. New boy Anthony Hackett gets us underway before villain Jansen equalizes. It’s down to veteran Philip Cocu to help us win the day.

George Ndah scores his first goal in the League Cup first round, in a narrow win over Sheffield United. I need a good cup run to get my games-per-season average back up.

In the league, the Blue Noses of Birmingham win in front of a small crowd at Gretsy Road. The lads don’t get out of second gear and we are punished.

Darren Anderton junior sets the tone for his fledgling Crewe career. Injured in training, and a first date with the physio room.

The lads are able to see out the League Cup second leg at Bramall Lane thanks to more goals from Cocu and Ndah. A late consolation does little to trouble us.

Our league form is a little more concerning. Riccy Scimeca gets an early bath on the outskirts of Liverpool and the short drive back to Crewe is a somber one.

We go behind against Burnley, but a late rally helps us to a vital win. Nick Barmby gets his first goal for Crewe, as Ndah keeps his record of scoring in every second game going.

I add another striker to help partner Ndah, as youngsters Hackett and McCarthy are struggling to set the league alight.

Lewis Capaldi might sing, we’re Divinely uninspired to a hellish extent… let’s see how we get on in our next match against Exeter.

Great.

[Funnily enough, Sean Devine would go on to Captain Exeter in the real world, including in a famous 0-0 draw with Man Utd in 2005. Exeter were a non-league side at the time].

Has anyone else noticed that our aging central midfielder Philip Cocu is currently our top goal scorer with four goals? Come on lads!

Better. George Ndah now scores his fourth of the campaign, after a hard-earned clean sheet. It’s only our second shut-out of the season. What’s happened to our attendances?

It’s one step forward, two steps back at the moment. I’m not sure the board will be happy with this recent run of results.

We fail to score for the second game in row, as the lads face off against Swansea. At least it’s a shut out, and we claw a point out of the game.

We get a bit of rest bite by beating Wigan in the League Cup. George Ndah is proving to be a cup specialist by scoring two more. Come on – let’s take this form into the league to kick-start our season! [Rar…..]

Mate. Hammered by a struggling West Ham team. At least Devine opens his Crewe account. [Clutching at straws here].

The West Ham game brings up our tenth game of the season. We find ourselves in the bottom half and way off the pace. Our defensive record is okay, but we need more goals.

Join us next week, as the season takes an unexpected twist…

Until next time.