Velkomin back to the year 867 AD. We’re now in our 3rd year of the Invasion having conquered both Divisions 2 & 1 at the first time of asking and we’re now mixing it up with the big boys in the Prem. This is the year that the Vikings marched deep into Mercia and wintered in Nottingham. As we’ve left both Nottingham clubs behind in our march for glory, We’ll have to take our barbaric raids out on the other midlands clubs such as Beorma’s Ham, Estone, Cofantreo & Deoraby.

We maintained our brief of ‘by November 866 I must field a full Scandinavian match day squad to coincide with the capture of York’. We’re only signing Scandinavian players and including this season, we’ve 11 years left to conquer England matching the timeline of the original Great Heathen Army.

Speaking of signings, we left you last time with the post season additions of Tommy Svindal Larsen, Christer George, Christian Bye Anderson & promising wing back Erik Fuglestad. Pre-season we’ve brought in Schmeichel’s regen Marc Jung, centre half Jorgen Hammersland and central midfielder Gunnar Norebo. As such our squad now looks like this….

I’m more than happy with the attacking talent at our disposal, however we still can’t seem to attract top quality defenders. I’m hoping the game has been kind to us and have updated our existing defenders ability to reach their potentials (all around 130-140ish), although we may have to adopt Keegan’s mantra of “you score 3, we’ll score 4”!

Once again I book us in some pre-season friendlies to help the newbies gel and get everyone match fit prior to the start of the season. Having them at home always helps the early season cash flow come along nicely too.

First up we face Djurgården and Ivar picks up where he left off scoring a hat-trick before making way for Lund. Hollund gets himself sent off so we play the last 15 mins keeperless. Easy 3-1 win.

Next up is Brondby who we drew with last season. We make wholesale changes and make a quick start with Gudjohnsen (starting in an unfamiliar role up top) scoring in the 1st minute. Lund scores to take us into the break 2-0 to the good. It’s as I feared though…typical regen keepers. Schmeichel Jnr doesn’t see either of the 2 shots they have on target and concedes them both. The game finishes 2-2.

FC Kobenhavn are next up and George opens his unofficial account with us by scoring our first. An Ivar brace and a rare strike from Halle puts us in a commanding 4-1 position at half time. An entertaining second half see a goal a piece with Bye Anderson also getting his first goal for the club. George takes the champers with a MoM performance and Thorstvedt proving he’s about as useful as a leather jerkan in the middle of a Kattegat winter!

Our penultimate friendly is against Örebro. Lund should have himself a 1st half hat trick however his goal in the 4th min was ruled out for offside. Gudjohnsen again proving there’s life in the old dog yet and loving his new role at the spearhead of attack scoring a brace of his own. Finishes 4-2.

Just before our final game of the season, we let Borgen go to Ceorlstun (Charlton) for £825k which is a nice little £775K profit.

We’ve chosen our namesake’s Viking for our final pre-season game. I go with our strongest team and the one which will lead us out for our Prem debut next weekend. Molnar puts us in the lead and it’s 1-0 at half time. Ivar misses a penalty but then scores another 7 mins later. Not totally convincing but a professional 2-0 victory.

The time is now, Saturday 14th August, Premier Division and it doesn’t get much tougher than this. We face the Mighty Mameceaster Utd. As they are now Schmeichel-less I has a nosey to see who they’ve signed as his replacement…Molina. I’m not changing our shape, I’m determined to play the way which has brought us 2 promotions in as many years and line up as follows:

We concede in the 5th minute but thankfully it’s disallowed. Ivar then gets taken out when clean through on goal but there’s not even a yellow card produced, let alone a red! Scholes is his usual clinical self and scares 2 to give Utd the advantage at half time. We have the better of the chances in the 2nd half but Beckham scores against the run of play to make it 3-0. TSL opens our account a few mins later but it finishes 3-1…Molina with the MoM! The stats are showing that we were’nt outplayed by any stretch of the imagination so I’m hesitantly optimistic for the season to come.

Our first away day is a trip into Mercia to take on Cofantreo (who have just signed Zamarano). I name an unchanged side hoping that the boys will come good. A boring first half see little action and it flies by. It’s more of the same in the second half so I decide to make some changes in the 65th min by bringing on Lund and Leonhardsen for Molnar and Bye Andersen. So inevitably Coventry score in the 66th min and it’s Zamarano that gets the goal! That seems to be the only action of the game and 1-0 it finishes. I’m more hesitant now than optimistic!

We’re back at home now to face fellow double promotees Brycg Stowe Rovers, who’ve made a decent start to life at the top with a win and a draw! Hopefully we can kick start our season here. We have chance after chance and just when I’m thinking it’s going to be another one of those days, Bye Andersen pops up in the 34th to give us a much deserved lead. Bristol restore parity a minute later and score again 4 mins after that but it it gets disallowed. We’ve been totally dominant in the first half with 61% of the possession 6 of 10 shots on target to their 2 in 2. George puts us back in front in the 61st and we continue to barrage their goal. Connolly breaks away on the counter in the 85th min and slots home the equaliser. This game doesn’t half wind me up at times….but I’m trying to think of the positives and we’ve finally got a point on the board and our new boys have opened their official accounts for us.

We travel over the Pennines to meet Botheltun next. They’re fairing slightly worse than us having not registered a point yet. Bye Andersen gives us the lead against the run of play in the 36th min. Molnar doubles it in the 58th following up Ivar’s blocked shot. I take no chances (and giving Bolton a guarantee’d goal) by making any subs and thankfully it stays 2-0 and we have our first win!

Fellow future Lancastrians Blacheborne (who are also languishing at the bottom) are next up at home. Molnar gives us the lead in the 9th and Ivar finally opens his account for the season at the 5th time of asking in the 19th. Have the floodgates now opened? He scores 2 in 6 mins to complete his hat trick. At 4-0 I decide it’s safe enough to make some changes by bringing off both goal scorers for Lund and Leonhardsen. TSL goes off injured in the 77th to take the shine of a memorable win. (This must be the first time i’ve faced Blackburn and Dahlin hasn’t scored against me).

He’s out for 4 months!!! Then to make matters worse, our back up centre mid also gets knacked for a month in training!

We travel up the East Coast into Northumbria for our visit to Mydilsburgh. Half Dan is back in the centre of our midfield and Halle resumes at right wingback. It’s a terrible start as Campbell puts the home side in front in the 4th minute. Ashcroft doubles their lead in the 40th before Ivar gives us a glimmer of hope in the 44th. There’s chances for both teams but it’s another loss to a team I’d fancy us beating.

We’re at home to Uuluuich next who are a point and a place above us. George gives us the lead in the 13th min but it only lasts for twenty minutes when Jim Quinn equalises. Jim bloody Quinn! Arsenal are all over us in the 2nd half and fully deserve their second goal when Grimandi heads in a corner. We can’t lay a finger on them after conceding and thanks to Hollund, it stays at 2-1.

We have a break from the league now as we entertain Oxenaford in the cup. The 2nd string get a run out and I’m wondering if I’ve made a mistake when we go into half time at 2 a piece. We make hard work of the second half too but come away with a 1-goal advantage following a brace from Lund. Hopefully Oxford prefer playing away and the 2nd leg is an easier affair.

(I forgot to screenshot this one)

Back in the league and we travel to second placed Celchyth. Mehmet Scholl gives the home side the lead in the 25th min. We finish the half the better side but can’t find a way past De Goey in the Chelsea goal. Molnar gets us level in the 72nd minute after a change of personnel, putting him up top with Ivar. Chelsea do score again in the 85th but once again lady luck shines on us and it’s disallowed giving us a hard earned and deserved point.

Liuerpul come to Bootham Crescent to see what the noise is all about. We start the brighter and have 3 clear cut chances in the first 10 mins. We go into half time honours even but I think we definitely shaded it in terms of chances and possession. Kvarme takes out Jensen when clean through on goal but just like in the Utd game, it seems like it’s only a red card for my players and not even worthy of going in the book when it’s someone else! Nevertheless, Ivar smashes in the resulting free kick. Liverpool put the pressure on but we stand firm and it’s a fantastic result for the club.

Second leg of the cup now and we’re away at Oxenaford. Lund gives us the lead in the 13th min and Jackson puts into his own net a minute later. Bye Andersen gets our third to make it 7-3 on aggregate. Banger gets a consolation goal for Oxford but it’s us that go into the hat for the next round…Where we’ll meet Botheltun.

I think here’s a decent place to leave it for this week. Into the next round of the FA Cup and 13th placed in a very compact league (5 points separate 4th and 16th place).

See you next week when we’ll attempt to stamp our authority on the division and move ourselves up the table.

Until then, Morna!