Hello journeymen and journeywomen!

It’s been two weeks’ since my last confession… Sorry, team. A mix of work and private commitments meant I missed deadline day last Monday! Anyhow, as two weeks have gone by, two more games have been added to our target by the evergreen Colin. Back-to-back 4-0 losses to Burnley and Coventry ruins the fairytale start.

Stepping back into our AI generated Champ Man multiverse, Niall Warnock has played 20 games in Division Two with Crewe and has some form and momentum propelling them towards a Division One return.

This is our usual line-up/formation.

The lads’ first game of the week is against Chesterfield, a team near the foot of the table. An early goal from Erik Nevland and early bath for forward Jeff Neilson means its a tough day away from home for the travelling Spireites fans. Substitute Damian Tiler gets a double in the #11 slot.

It’s the same opposition in the Windscreen Shied four days later. Neilson is back on the pitch (delayed bans in those days) and still no goals scores for the away fans who sit through three more conceded goals.

We hold Premier League side Aston Villa in the League Cup 4th round, but fall to the lottery of penalties. Sean Devine and Darren Anderton Jnr missing, as Villa score four perfect pens.

The lads are not able to pick themselves off the floor for the visit of Charlton in the league.

We face off against managerless Scarborough and nearly throw away a 3-0 lead! It was a tight final few minutes as Scarborough press for an equalizer. Darren Anderton’s regen does what he does best, and gets injured.

Matt Wills’ idol was in the stands for this one. Seems he fancies a shuffle.

I lose both my center halves at Chester after an 81st minute altercation. Lads!

We close out the game keeperless, with Sean Devine and Philip Cocu covering at the back!

The lads travel to Birmingham off the back of grinding out a draw at Chester. George Ndah scores early and veteran right back Dmitriy Shukanov closes the game out.

After the game Ross Bell calls me, begging, as a job vacancy comes up… it’s tempting. Another Houdini attempt… I dust off the CV and interview suit.

This is annoying. An hour against nine players. I go all-out attack and keeperless for the second half. To no avail!

My final game for Crewe would end in an FA Cup humbling against Sunderland. Francis Jeffers ran rings around Riccy and Frank at the back. The Sol Man shut out Nevland and Ndah up front. Oof.

Don Revie, Brian Clough, Eddie Gray, Howard Wilkinson, George Graham, Terry Venables… Steve Evans… It’s time to make right Neil Warnock’s ill-fated 2012 spell with CM magic! DIRTY LEEDS!

We have 18 games to make up a ten point, 13 goal swing on Hull in 21st.

The Leeds squad has room to expand. There is £3million in the bank, and the club still has a good reputation. Veteran Alan Shearer leads the line, with Alfie Haaland a utility option across the back and midfield.

Shearer has scored seven in 33 so far this season, off the back of a five-goal 45 game season last year. Is it too late for the Geordie hero to make a difference?

Join us next week, to see how the turnaround goes!

Until next time.