May the fourth be with you, always. 

Let’s take stock of where we are. 

• Won Division 2 at a canter in the end after sabotaging our rivals. 

• £7m in the bank. 

• I’m owed a Sheff Utd player for £1.1m after not exchanging anyone. Sheridan left on a big club release clause without my knowledge.

• Good news – There’s wanted signs on a few of our players.

• Bad news – Apart from Newsome, all clubs interested are from the lower leagues.

I’d like to make it 3 promotions in a row. But as it stands, I don’t think this team is capable. Need more quality. Might need to unearth some gems from the lower leagues. Or god forbid, trade Newsome for 3 players if I can do that.

As the Window opens, not including Newsome & Griffo, currently I can only look at players from Mansfield, Rochdale Chesterfield, Lincoln, Oxford. In other words, it’s slim pickings.

Brass is off and we get a much needed sub keeper. Lance, whose contract was about to expire, was traded in at only £5k 

I guess you can say that’s a low Key signing. 

As a man embracing baldness, I decided to sell my Wigg. I bring in Ben Roberts who will be my new GK. Vickers and Liddle were both free. 

Happy with that.

I am going to need a new player for the hole though. 

Vince and Rees retire. So I’m going to sign their reincarnations.  

A few clubs are in for Lightfoot, including Everton. The price goes up to £900k which gives me a couple of options. Williamson is out of contract and free, Probierz is £850k. Both are better than Lightfoot & and I get £50k . Absolute banger of a trade.

Probierz has great averages in the Premier League, why Everton wanted to trade him is anyone’s guess.  

He’s immediately our best midfielder. 

Lovell scored 24 and had 18 assists in Div 1 last season. I can bid for him because Reading want Liddle.

I think he’s better than Sean McCarthy. I hope so anyway. 

Big on quality, Liddle on price.

It’s the most amazing window I’ve ever had. Although, I’m severely lacking in AMs. And it shows. Tough start to life in Div 1. Outplayed at Carrow Road. It’s a reality check.

Back on track in the League Cup against Div 2 opposition though. Div 2 might be our ceiling. 

Crashing back down to Earth with another defeat in the league. No goals again.

Maybe I should’ve kept my Wigg. 

THUD!

Take that, arsewipe.

Bottom of the league. 

Right. That’s enough for today. I’m too depressed to go on any further. 

Join us next week for a special one-off episode.