Hello! Welcome back to the next chapter in the travels of Bignacious B, Waynao Bigginsao, Big B. Wayne suitably demolished the Premier League, and it probably would have been more spectacular were it not for a month out injured and a million bans.

So, we find ourselves in sunny Portugal, and what better home for Mr Biggins than Porto.

What a squad to add him too. Unfortunately, it will mean goodbye Jardel. Well, fuck him, he’s no Wayne B. Happy days:

As ever, we’ll make Wayne the pinnacle of our side.

It takes just 17 minutes for him to open his account in the Super Taca, a competition ever improved by the grace of Wayne Biggins.

The next outing and he’s straight on the doubles.

It’s not all great going, as ever, sometimes after a double, Wayne gets a sore head and needs time to warm up again.

Bignacious B wraps up the Super Taca. The board are over the moon. M-O-O-N, that spells Wayne Biggins.

Loves playing against Boavista:

Hates playing against PSG. Two CL games, no goals so far. The goals flow back in Portugal and he finally gets a few goals in the CL:

Needless to say, we’ll finish 2^nd and not progress. After 10 league games, it all looks pretty good.

Wayne also smashes the Brits Abroad. Crushed like a pringle.

The goals continue to flow, as do the wins. But this is a brutal scoreline against our only real competition.

This is no good for the Wayne Biggins support act.

And as such, we lose to Rio Ave. Wayne proceeds to score in 5 games on the bounce. Then this:

Penalties are his weakness. But I’ll persist. Another support act gone.

As ever, the angry fucker gets himself into trouble abroad as well as at home.

We remain top without him, and he scores on his comeback. Hurrah!

Wayne loves playing the Brits, and scores his first hattrick of these tales.

That is the 30-goal marker reached. He has a 5-goal lead in the scoring charts.

Thanks Wayne, another game against Salgueiros…

MUCH BETTER:

Despite going down to 10-men, we do win the Taca de Portugal. 2 trophies for Batman.

And then we put Sporting to the sword to secure the title!

Wayne gets smashed and the following game is abysmal.

But he makes up for it on the last day with a goal and a hattrick of assists.

That’ll do. And Bignacious B tops three tables:

Only 37 disciplinary points this time, disappointing! What a season for Big Wayne though.

Can he do it in Portugal? Yes he bloody well can! So, another league down, where to next? Belgium, Holland, France, Spain, Italy, Germany or Scotland? We…will…see!