Bom Dia! and welcome back for another week with Nick and his Portu-Wolves, who after a mini blip at the start of the season are now flying high at the halfway point. Can they keep it up for a run of games that will make or break their season?…

Here’s how the table’s looking. The important thing is the 6-point gap to 3rd place because I couldn’t give a sh*t whether we finish 1st or 2nd really, I just want to get out of this god-forsaken division once and for all! Let’s go…

While we’re on the subject of 1st and 2nd, City’s Royle Family are up first. Craig Russells up a goal to give the them the lead, which they hold until just past the hour, when Vicente comes off the bench to rescue a point. It’ll do.

If that was a relatively good point, then this is the exact opposite. An early disallowed goal, a red card for an inexperienced defender and a late equaliser all compound our misery in a thoroughly frustrating afternoon at Lincoln.

Here’s a joke for you… Once there were an Irishman, a Romanian and a Scotsman, and they all thought it would be funny to hammer a bunch of Portuguese men in front of their own fans. There’s no punchline by the way…

I wouldn’t exactly call two wins, two draws and a loss a particularly great month, but I’m all for awards all the same…

We can always rely on the FA Cup to give us a break when things aren’t going great in the league. It’s a pretty routine home win against Stoke, who decide to make the last 20 minutes interesting, but we go through to face Pompey.

Forest next, and I was a big fan of Wolves’ Twitter account admin’s humour after the two sides met in real life back in 2022, so instead of a match report, I’ll just leave this here…

Just two days later it’s Sheffield Wednesday in the League Cup quarter final. I mean if we can’t score a penalty, what chance have we got of scoring from open play against nine men?

We just about pick ourselves up from the cup defeat and get back on track against 16th-place Reading, but not without going behind first.

My latest trawl through the interested foreign based list throws up this legend, and Jorgey immediately jets to Spain to get the deal over the line quickly for a shade over half a million.

Birmingham’s keeper is ridiculously good, and he’s on top form to thwart us as once again we fail to beat a team with less players than us, and they now go level on points with us.

At least our FA Cup form has been consistent, unlike our league form. Pompey are brushed aside as Bruno gets his first goal, and our prize, if you can call it that, is Man Utd away…

With this new formation appearing to be the way forward, I allow my one remaining redundant full back to leave. Cheers, Carlos!

I also decide to cash in on Vu, and he joins the Basque Boys, albeit against their club rules, but I’ve made a tidy £1m Profit on him…

Boa Morte makes it a double double as we smash Derby and send them back to their park without any pride. Capucho’s injury is nasty, and we’ll be without him for a couple months.

Thankfully though, my rapid response super agent is on hand to fill the void with another international for just £475k…

We really do fall to pieces against teams near the bottom of the table, but thankfully on this occasion, our blushes are spared by Blackpool, who manage to hold Birmingham to a draw…

You have got to be f*cking kidding me…

Back to the FA Cup, and that trip to Old Trafford. In the space of eight days we go from scraping a point against Luton to walloping the best team in the country in their own back yard… I just can’t work this f*cking team out!

Great drama from the BBC…

The other half of Manchester is our reward in the quarter finals…

Naturally, I expect to follow that famous win with a garbage display at Blackpool, but my team decide to buck that trend for this week at least. Oh I do like to be beside the seaside…

Rarely would I describe a win over Oxford as huge, but that’s the reality when we need all the points we can get. It’s looking like dropped points until super sub Cavaco saves the day…

Last up are Huddersfield. It’s always nice to end an episode with a win, but it’s all over in half an hour, and I’m not getting my way this week. However, we’re saved by other results once again as Birmingham lose to Norwich.

I’m not quite sure who keeps voting for me in this, but it’s another one for the cabinet…

So here’s how things stand with eleven games to go. It’s looking like a three-horse race for the top two spots between Man City, ourselves and Birmingham, with Coventry making a late bid to crash the automatic promotion party. One thing we’ve got going for us is that teams on level points are separated by goals scored…

It’s been a little while since we looked at the squad, so here it is. I’m starting to get some more established names in now, and they’re definitely making a difference.

After a head vs heart battle, I have decided to give Bully the opportunity to leave if he wants to. As much as I’d like him to retire here, I’d sooner see him get some deserved game time.

So that wraps it up for this week. Tune in at the same time next week for what’s sure to be our most dramatic season finale so far. I don’t think my heart could handle another playoff campaign, so I pray to god that we can secure at least second place. Adeus!