Bonjour! We’ve reached the halfway point of our first season in the top flight. It’s been a mixed bag so far, with some good results, and some terrible, but we’re three points above the relegation zone, and if we’re still there at the end of the season, I’ll be happy. Let’s go…

Our only goals in our last four matches have come against non-league cup opposition, but we rediscover our shooting boots at home to Nancy and keep a first clean sheet in 10 games.

Two days later, Gurria makes it two goals in as many games in an entertaining Desmond away at Bastia to keep them a place below us…

Bordeaux are currently leading the way, and we manage to keep them at bay for an hour, but I don’t think anyone genuinely believed we could or would take anything from them…

Time for a signing, and “Leighton” joins for £130k from Logrones. He’s another one I had at Bilbao, and now hopefully I can offload both Fontan and Iru if we can find any suitors…

I guess the fact that we’re spluttering in the top flight, and Sochaux are flying high in Ligue 2 means that them dumping us out of the cup comes as a surprise to absolutely no one…

Ahh really? I’ve only had him for two months!

Now for the first of four huge games against teams who are all below us. We’re behind just before half time, but a red card swings momentum our way for a change, and from that position, we can afford Toulouse…

Luckily Rennes only manage one shot on goal all game, and despite trying our best to throw it away near the end, we make it two in two…

Money’s too tight to mention, but I’d rather spend it than watch it diminish and have to rely on free transfers, so in come two more from Bilbao for £210k and £160k respectively…

Our old chums Nice are next, and twice we go behind, and twice we battle back before Double D scrambles it in from a corner with the last kick of the game. Now that is nice!

I decide to let Ipiña head to Portugal for £110k. His stint with us was all too brief, but he cost me absolutely nothing, so it’s pure profit…

There are no deadline day incomings, but I decide to recall Raúl Calle from his loan at Marinhense, where he managed nine goals.

Back to the action, and Gurria single-handedly takes care of rock bottom Cannes to make it maximum points from the four big matches…

We’re now ninth in the table with a 13-point cushion over the relegation zone, which I think we’re going to need with a horrible run-in to come with all the big boys still left to play.

The Metz Juddermen fail to get the better of us, but we also fail to find their net, so have to settle for what seems like an okay-ish point…

Double D is suspended against PSG. His replacement, Calle is on target, Lethal Luke returns from the dead, and had Revilla not fluffed his lines from the spot, we might well have come away with a hard-earned point…

It’s looking like back to back defeats at home to Nantes, until Gurria comes off the bench to snatch what could be an important point…

We look like we might get a late equaliser at high-flying Strasbourg, until Pascal Nouma completes his hat trick with three minutes to play, knocking the stuffing firmly out of us…

While scoring hasn’t been much of a problem, our soft underbelly is exposed once again, this time by Auxerre, but we’re still ten clear of 16th-placed Montpellier, who we play next…

A draw will be enough to secure our status as a Ligue 1 team for next season, and a solitary Alkorta goal just past half an hour is enough to take all three points. Hoorah! We’ve done it…

The boys are so relaxed after surviving relegation that they don’t even bother to turn up for the Lens game, and it’s another hiding…

I was expecting another thrashing at home to champions-elect, Monaco, and although it doesn’t go as badly as I was expecting, sadly you don’t get any points for coming close…

It’s all happening at Nancy, and after we get two injuries and a red card in just over half an hour, I’m not holding much hope, but Double D scores for the first time in five games to give us what was looking like a very unlikely win…

With 10th place in the bag, our final game with Marseille is meaningless, so I make a few changes, and we sign off on the wrong end of a a nine-goal thriller, which sums up our season.

So, the aim this season was to try and stay up, and despite a few hammerings, we managed it comfortably in the end, but £295,000 in prize money isn’t enough to put the bank balance back in the black, so I pray for a cash injection over the summer, or it’ll be the freebie list…

Here are the stats for any of you who are remotely interested. Double D managed 21 goals this season, which is a great effort, and our standout performer in terms of ratings was our keeper, which comes as no surprise given how shite we are at the back right now…

So good has our number one been, that he only goes and wins the PFA player of the year award! That really was £300k well-spent if I do say so myself, and we could well have been relegated were it not for him. All hail Jesús!

So that just about wraps up our first season of top tier football, and it’s mission accomplished. Join me next week to see what, if anything, I can do to try and improve the squad over the summer, which is sure to be quite the task with a negative bank balance… Au Revoir!