Bonjour happy champers! You join us in the best position we’ve been in at the halfway point of any season to date. Another tactical tweak has been getting the best out of these Basque Boys, both in the league and cup, so could it finally be our year? Let’s f*cking go…

Right after we learn our main cup fate, which isn’t the best of news if I’m honest…

Mateo gets the show on the road at PSG, and despite a further 12 shots at goal, we can’t find a second, but we hold on, and the good news continues as Bordeaux lose to Montpellier!

Our star man Calle is now suspended for two games, but thankfully his replacement, Diaz brings his ‘A’ game to grab us a late winner against Gueugnon…

I can’t quite believe that it’s taken 13 wins out of 19, but I finally win what I now call the Johan Cruyff award for the first time this season…

We’re without Calle and Aurelio at Marseille, and then things get worse as we lose Badi, and the killer blow is delivered on the stroke of half time, as Bordeaux win to regain top spot…

Things aren’t much better against l’OM in the main cup two days later. And there was me thinking that them selling Thierry Henry to Porto would make them weaker…

It’s not going to plan early on against Nantes, but we dig in and battle back. I was hoping Marseille would do us a favour and beat Bordeaux, but obviously it’s too much to ask…

We’re slow out of the blocks once again at Guingamp, and Betterton frustrates us as usual. Rock-bottom Le Mans holding Marseille helps, but Bordeaux win to go four clear…

After an abysmal first half against Lens, the midfield get the job done, and Marseille lose to give us a seven-point cushion over them…

Fantastic, just fan-f*cking-tastic…

Cannes held us to a draw last time, so revenge is on the menu, and a red card only helps our cause. Lens hold Bordeaux to a Desmond, so we’re only two behind them now…

And then Le Havre happen again. I absolutely f*cking hate these c*nts…

As if that wasn’t bad enough, we’re now without Badi for the remainder of the season…

Losing to Le Havre has now put us five behind Bordeaux, so we have to beat them to stand any chance of winning this title, but our dreams are shattered in under 20 minutes…

With our hopes of winning the league seemingly gone for another season, second spot and Champions League is now the aim, and Felix heads us to a Nice win…

It takes us a while to get going in our League Cup semi with second division Martigues, which obviously isn’t without late drama, but we reach our first cup final in five years…

Having ballsed up our chances of winning the title, we look to be doing the same with our chances of finishing second by losing to Bastia, but luckily PSG hold Marseille to a draw…

We’re back on it at home to Rennes though, as a missed penalty, red card, and Calle’s first goals in five games all help get the job done…

And then things take a Lille turn for the worse, and Marseille overtake us into second, but we do have a game in-hand on them thankfully…

And that game in-hand is against fifth-placed Monaco, who are proving a tough nut to crack, but our patience is finally rewarded, and we regain second spot on goal difference…

Caen holding us to a draw is far from ideal, but we get away with it again, as Marseille lose to Guingamp to give us a one-point cushion…

For f*ck sake!!! This is basically our whole midfield gone for the rest of the season now…

The transfer window is open again, and I make an early start on the summer clear-out…

Marseille have played twice by the time we play Montpellier, and are now five points ahead of us, but their season is now finished, and we have two games remaining, both of which we must win if we’re to finish second.

With injuries beginning to mount up, a patched-up side beats Montpellier, meaning that Champions League qualification hinges on our last game…

And that last game is at home to already-relegated Le Mans. We don’t exactly make easy work of it, but Babs returns from injury with a vital goal to secure second spot. Get in there!

We’re rich, rich I tell you!

Here’s confirmation of the final standings. It’s so disappointing to finish nine points behind Bordeaux after we were absolutely flying at the halfway point, but it’s the same old second half of the season slump that’s cost us yet again. I’m beginning to think there might be a bug in the French league, who knows…

Stats time, and Calle had an absolute worldie of a season, with 29 goals and 24 assists, yet he can’t get a national call-up for love nor money, but I guess the game has its favourites…

The league might have been a disappointment yet again, but we still have a cup final to look forward to, even if it’s against Bordeaux…

As if being without Mateo and Badi wasn’t bad enough, Babs is on international duty, so we literally have no midfield, and get exactly what was expected. For f*ck sake! I’ll take any trophy, any trophy at all!!!

Being used to so much disappointment means I can move on quickly, and I continue my head start on reshaping the squad for next season…

Calle’s goal in the League Cup final takes him to 30 for the season, and he’s named football writer’s player of the year and division 1 top scorer. We also scoop the highly-coveted and completely pointless fair play award as well…

So there we have it. For half a season, we looked like we might finally be on the road to glory, but it wasn’t to be in the end. Join me next week to see what we can do with the squad to see if season 11 will be any different. See you then. Au Revoir!