This episode is all about the promotion push. And it gets off to a bad start when on-loan Purse is sold under our noses by Blackburn. They still owe us a player!

Monaco? Yes you read that right.

What’s going on? I’ll tell you. Talking shit, as per, with my butty @thetynter, and this blog pops up. I was telling him about Trade guy who hates skateboarders bla bla bla. And he already knows about it. In fact. He knows a lot more than I do. 

So apparently (I’m not fact checking, where’s the fun in that) After the skateboarder confrontation incident at the Mumbles, there was a public response. Not a good one. It created a movement. It was called ‘Beep for Bellend.’

May the fourth be with you, always. 

Let’s take stock of where we are. 

• Won Division 2 at a canter in the end after sabotaging our rivals. 

• £7m in the bank. 

• I’m owed a Sheff Utd player for £1.1m after not exchanging anyone. Sheridan left on a big club release clause without my knowledge.

• Good news – There’s wanted signs on a few of our players.

• Bad news – Apart from Newsome, all clubs interested are from the lower leagues.

Top of Div 2 after 13 games and we’ve sabotaged our main rivals. 

Off to Springfield next. 

Roberto Martinez tried to stop us but the rest of the team have been spending too much time in Moe’s lately.

After a successful first season, it’s Pina Coladas on the beach courtesy of our sponsor. I say courtesy of our sponsor. He didn’t actually pay for the holiday. He took my £99 deposit and I’m paying him back over 5 years.

The holiday is going to cost £5k more than it was worth in the long run.  Think I’ve been stung. I’m just glad it wasn’t a car.

Anyway, it was only a short getaway as there’s work to do. 

Close season = transfer activity. And there’s a lot to wade through.

As it stands, only Nathan Jones and Bob Taylor are wanted. Jones is worth a whopping £3m. 

If I can get some exchange offers before June, there should be some good bargains on offer with contracts running down & players on offer being valued next to nothing. 

First out the door is Rob Scott. I bring in Muggleton and Andrade as part of the deal. 

We’re top after 22 games. 

The squad has just been weakened though with the arrival of Mick Harford. I didn’t want him.

Got no interest in the rest of my squad either at the moment so just going to rattle through some games and see what bites I get. Everyone apart from Banger & Finnan are on the transfer list.

Courtesy of @FootyScran 

Sausage, chips and curry sauce in a hollowed cob at Merthyr Town. £6 with a drink. 

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Good morning. We’re in Barry Island for our last friendly before the season starts. 3 new players to work into the team from the exchange of Jarman last week.

Gillespie and Aizlewood have a combined age of 74. 

Hello & welcome to a new blog series! As you can see we’re in Merthyr Tydfil. This is the closest club in the English pyramid to me. I’m from Abercynon so just a few mins up the A470. I nearly signed for Merthyr as a 16 year old. Scored 2 against their U-18s in a friendly in a 4-2 deafet, and they invited me along to train with them after the game. But while younger me was pretty decent at scoring goals, I was also pretty decent at scoring weed. Loads of old blokes got a story about how they could have made it. That’s mine. 3 training sessions and I didnt bother going again. Had other ‘interests’. I’m back now as a slightly more responsible 40-year-old as the first team manager. But the contract and rules they signed me up on are restrictive. And the owner/main sponsor is rather bizarre.

One more time, celebrate and dance for free….with Deano.

We’re here for the trial. Japan vs Dean Smith

Let’s examine his honours so far

• Div 3 Champions
• Auto Windscreen Shield winners
• Div 2 Champions
• Div 1 Champions

Tidy enough. But hardly anything to write home about.

The Leyton Orient squad is ageing. The way the government see it, he’s got 2 seasons to save his British ass or it’ll be fishing for sushi for the rest of his days.

The court is adjourned. We’ll be back in 2 years-time. Smithies got work to do.