It’s time. The 2025/26 season, or season 29 if you are more a fan of simple digits, is about to come shuddering to a stop. In this update, we’ll find out if Darlington can get their hands on the Cup Winners Cup, if anybody can stop the mighty Leeds winning a 3rd consecutive Premier League and, more importantly, if 65 year old Peter Beardsley can carry England to World Cup glory (again). As ever though, it’s Pointless Cup time first.
League Cup
The 2nd minute was quite the time. And the last two minutes.
A rare treat.
FA Cup
Chelsea ended our FA Cup defence in the quarter final replay, comfortably defeating us at Stamford Bridge. They go on to batter all conquering Leeds, and before you know it, Le Tissier is on for a 2nd trophy.
It’s another ridiculous final. with Villa sending their fans potty in the last 5 minutes before losing to 10 men in extra time. Such is life.
It’s no wonder we didn’t defend our FA Cup, given how our fixtures are panning out
Playing Chelsea and Twente on consecutive nights is just a smidge harsh. Three games in 4 days is borderline cruelty. We lose 3-0 in Holland, but a raucous crowd at Feethams witness one of the great European comebacks. We’ve done it!
Sporting Lisbon go toe to toe with ourselves but in extra time, the former Zidane comes up with the goal that brings European silverware to Feethams once more. Have it!
Champions League
There’s only France and Italy represented in the Champions League last 4 and it soon becomes an all Italian affair
Fiorentina vs Udinese then, in Sevilla. As you’d expect from an all Italian match, it’s not exactly wide open
So good for Fiorentina. Sampdoria win Serie A with a dramatic playoff win
Hercules win a 4th consecutive La Liga.
Let’s nip back home
Premier League
Leeds had the Premier League wrapped up by Easter, I’ve no idea why they are so far ahead.
Our fixture pile up didn’t really help but my priority was the Cup Winners Cup and I’m happy to take 6th. Defence let us down a great deal but we were still the divisions top scorers, somehow. This is nice…
At the bottom, Stoke made a good go of being the worst Premier League team ever, whilst Beardsley limps to 15th.
Speaking of Beardsley, with the World Cup on the horizon, he’s recalled himself again. In a sort of playmaker role. He’s 65 man!
World Cup
So, here’s the squad I’m taking to Mexico for World Cup 2026
The group isn’t too bad but we start with a dull 0-0 with Sweden. No shots on target!
We come alive in the second game though, including old man Pedro
Round it all off with a win over Armenia, and we’re through without conceding a goal
With that, top spot is secured
There’s some shockers elswhere, as Spain and Brazil crash out. Hosts Mexico did themselves proud.
It does mean we face Portugal in the last 16, which isn’t a great draw
Argentina a potential prize if we beat Portugal…not a nice draw.
Three is a magic number…
A crazy opening then and a professional performance against 9 men. An added bonus too…
The quarter final draw looks a little bit nicer.
Bosnia give us a scare and Collier gets himself sent off…but penalties are our friend.
Semi finals then and we’ve got a chance to avenge our Euro 2024 final defeat
REVENGE!
So whilst the press write a load of Caesar’s palace jokes, I reflect on the fact that a semi final took place in front of 9,965 people. Mexico presumably put all their stadium eggs in one basket, allowing 107,965 people to witness Denmark beat Belgium.
England vs Denmark in the final then, but first the old bronze medal match
Tino Nuyts is a great name. So is Axel Vos. Anyway, it’s time for the World Cup final, but is it to be that last match ever on this save? Sadly, CM9798 doesn’t write scripts.
Only joking! It’s the best possible script to sum up this save, Beardsley heading in a far post cross with 5 minutes to spare, and the World Cup final is settled by a 65 year old.
Cap 100 for Roy Mendes
But Beardsley ends 10 caps better off and 31 years older. Lad.
Some awards to finish
But…what happens when I press continue? Well that needs a whole new post that can be found here
Yes, this is indeed the last update of this particular save. Now what!?
Looking for a Christmas present? A book about CM9798 will make a great stocking filler!
Good day to you. It’s 2026 and the bell is about to toll on this save. Peter Beardsley is 65 and preparing for one last World Cup, I’m being nostalgic with my transfer dealings and Leeds look set to win a third consecutive Premier League. How did we let these things happen? Welcome to the penultimate update.
We’ll start with yet another managerial change, as Liverpool reward their manager for finally getting them out of Division 1 by sacking him
His replacement surprises me because he’s been out of the news for so long.
Yes, fresh from 11 years at Wolves, their relegation resulted in the sack for Hucks but he’s walked into a better job. Wonderful.
Onto more ridiculous matters and the World Cup 2026 draw has been made. It’s a bit of an odd group
As holders we’re top seeds. Bring on Mexico 2026!
Of course it’ll be Pedro leading the line, and he has just reached retirement age. How fitting.
You’ll notice there that alongside his frightening International record this season, he’s also got a league goal!
AND IT WAS ON HIS BIRTHDAY. I AM EXCITED. But not as excited as I am to see him get his 100th cap. You can read the full live text of that match here
Ok, it’s a meaningless friendly with the USA but he took part. 100s up!
Anyway, in less exciting news the first final of the season will be contested between Chelsea and Forest.
Nobody cares. We’re still hoping to retain our FA Cup but we’ve got to go to Stamford Bridge in a replay and the reward is a semi final with Leeds, who have reverted to the all conquering side of the 70s. Bugger.
We do however have the re-generated Ariel Ortega, onto his 2nd or 3rd iteration now and carrying the rather not Argentine name of Gabriel McAllister.
Hopefully he can fill the void left by Joel Domoraud (Bakayoko). We’ve got more of a chance of winning the Cup Winners Cup, after a battling draw in Norway took us to the Semi Finals.
We’ve drawn Twente which is probably the kindest of the options, though still not easy.
The big boys of Europe are battling it out and once again, no English team in sight…though well done Hajduk Split I guess.
Constant finalists Hercules have been whipped and you’d probably say Fiorentina are favourites now, but we’ll see. All Italian final? All French final?
One of my first signings on this save was Bjorn Heidenstrom, so I’ve decided to make my last ever signing his re-gen. He’s been with me at Newcastle and Milan but at 34, he’ll be a useful man to have around for the final months.
Our league form has been poor, we’ve struggled for goals a bit as Carbon’s form has dropped off, we’re 7th and we’ll be looking to finish in the top 6 if we can.
Leeds are going to be triple Champions. Stoke however, are not. Beardsley’s Man City should be ok, but he’s got one eye on Mexico.
We’ve come to the end. One update to go but it’s going to be emotional. We’ll go to Mexico for World Cup 2026 and Darlington will try and win in European competition one more time. Hold me.
Welcome! It’s a Wednesday night in 2026 and what else would you rather be doing than celebrating a football miracle? For tonight, Peter Beardsley will receive his 100th England at the ripe old age of 65. It is, quite frankly, ludicrous.
If you’re new to this, allow me to break the magic for a second with a short Q&A.
Q. Why is the old man still playing football – let alone for England?
What I thought was a footballing miracle turned out to be a glitch that the Twitter community (and one man on YouTube) were all too keen to point out to me. If you put a player on your shortlist, he will never retire.
Q. Why was Peter Beardsley on your shortlist you maniac?
I do this to identify old players who retire and then snap up their re-gens for free or a pittance. This backfired.
Q. Does he still play club football even though he is 65?
Well, sort of. He’s player-manager of Premier League Man City. He saves himself for the big games
Q. His stats must be woeful…?
They are.
Q. Why is he in the England team?
When I realised he wasn’t ever going to retire, my new mission in the game/life in general was to get him in my England team and win the World Cup. That actually happened. It was beautiful.
Right, so now you’re all caught up. I can’t say I’m over the moon to Live Text you a friendly between England and the USA, so it’s going to be farcical. Just so you know.
Hardly a household name in there, so again, some gaps to fill. Whilst I don’t know who everybody is, Leo Lee is Alan Shearer and Danny Cureton is Paul Merson. Peake is McManaman and Dennis is Kieron Dyer. The rest, I don’t know. The USA have a man called Joe Max Dooley, and the Balboa twins, so I’m all for it.
Beardsley asked not to wear the captains armband tonight and wanted to treat it like any other fixture. It was January 1986 when the man dubbed ‘Pedro’ was given his England debut by Sir Bobby Robson, but few would believe he would still be getting caps 40 years later.
I have no video making ability but fortunately, this man has. Enjoy:
Anyway, we’re getting off piste. There’s a huge game to be won here at Wembley. The players are in the tunnel. Beardsley, ever the professional, requested no pre-match japes so that’ll be a shame for anybody in the party spirit. Hang about, Beardsley isn’t among the team as they take to the pitch. Has he been caught short, in a tribute to 1986 World Cup strike partner Gary Lineker?
Well now I’ve seen everything. Beardsley has his own open top bus!
It’s another classic Beardsley prank. Here’s the teams again for tonight’s game.
(I took that screenshot 1 minute into the game and they’d already messed about.)
The anthems have been observed, immaculately, and it’s kick off time. Incidentally, many of you have asked why the USA are the opponents of choice for such a landmark fixture. Well, Beardsley’s first International goal was scored in Los Angeles back in 1986, and even though that was against Mexico, that’s all I’ve got to work with here people.
KICK OFF – Beardsley kicks us underway, amid a tepid atmosphere.
3 mins – England passing the ball about neatly without threatening. The Wembley crowd, which looks to be about 60,000, have started a chant of ‘Thank you Peter’. How lovely.
8 mins – Finally some action! Leo Lee gets a yard of space in the box but his low shot is well held by Henderson.
12 mins – YELLOW CARD
It’s only a friendly lads! Tony Kooiman goes in the book for a late lunge on Danny Cureton.
15 mins – England are getting closer. Beardsley and Lee combine and again Lee gets a shot away, but this time he is wide of the mark. The England captain is busy though.
18 mins – We’re in a lull, which often happens in International friendlies. Here’s a reminder of England’s group for this summer’s World Cup which is also in Mexico, much like Beardsley’s first in 1986.
23 mins – Some action! USA have a corner which Keller heads wide despite being unmarked. It’s a let off, if that’s the right term.
25 mins – Beardsley! Wide! A glorious opening for the pensioner but he’s fluffed his lines, dragging a shot from the edge of the box wide. It would have been too perfect.
26 mins – Beardsley! Wide! Again! This time Lee knocks down a long diagonal and Beardsley’s snapshot is drilled wide. He’s getting closer.
30 mins – YELLOW CARD
The Americans didn’t come for the love tonight, Meola is in the book for a cynical trip on Pat Dennis.
34 mins – YELLOW CARD
I don’t believe this. The referee has booked Beardsley! It’s a forwards challenge, and he’s older than everything, but no sympathy is given and it’s a yellow for Beardsley.
36 mins – Crossbar! Leo Lee meets a Peake cross with a thumping header but it only meets the crossbar. Still 0-0.
40 mins – Beardsley is desperate to score tonight, even if he won’t admit it. He’s on a mazy run here but he puts his shot wide whilst stretching. Unlucky son.
43 mins – We’re fizzling out to half time here. Make plans for tea.
HALF TIME – England 0 – 0 USA
Not a classic. Unless you are Peter Beardsley.
England have definitely had the better of it, but there’s been nothing to get excited about.
Anyway, away from this half time stupidity, the second half is upon us
KICK OFF – USA get us back underway here at Wembley.
49 mins – There’s a football match going on, I almost forgot. Patrick Dennis heads over Cureton’s corner. That’s actually a decent chance. Oh well.
53 mins- YELLOW CARD
Peter Bent is the latest to fall victim to a referee who has no tolerance in a friendly match. Bent is booked for fouling Lee Peake.
56 mins – Literally nothing is happening. Even Beardsley looks bored. To be fair, he has a Man City team to prepare for the weekend and instead he is here.
59 mins – YELLOW CARD
Patrick Dennis is in the book for tripping Michael van Buskirk. That is a tremendous name, but that doesn’t mean you should get booked for fouling him.
65 mins – The Wembley crowd are on their feet on 65 minutes as a tribute to Beardsley, who is of course 65. I suppose they couldn’t do it on 100 minutes, if we’re still playing on minute 100 after this stinker there’ll be a lot of glum faces and an empty stadium. Anyway, Beardsley looks thrilled
England of course wearing their throwback kit tonight…
70 mins – SUBSTITUTION
England freshen things up with two changes. Veteran Roy mendes replaces Leo Lee whilst other veteran Justin Cox replaces Charlie Ormerod. Of course, neither are as veterany as Beardsley, who takes the armband.
76 mins – Still we meander on, going nowhere in a hurry. Are we going to see a goal?
79 mins – GOAL! England 1 – 0 USA (Cox)
COX shouts the commentator. Whilst I surpress a childish giggle, England have scored. Beardsley is at the heart of it, exchanging passes with Mendes (combined age 99) before seeing his shot spilled by the keeper. It falls to the Valencia man Justin Cox, who you may recall scored the winner in the World Cup final of 2022, who gleefully taps home. Everyone piles on Beardsley in celebration, which is a risk when you consider he is 65 (but that strength of 11 will see him through).
84 mins – England playing keep ball now. Nobody cares.
86 mins – SUBSTITUTION
Another two changes, Simon Gallen is on for Patrick Dennis followed by Andy Caesar replacing Pat Limber.
88 mins – The USA nearly becomes extreme party-poopers but John Moore heads over. The full back was a long way forward there, but his header was just off target. Hopefully there is no stoppage time.
90 mins – 1 minute added on, as a courtesy presumably.
FULL TIME – England 1 – 0 USA
A dull match but Beardsley got a decent turn out for the big occasion. Denny Cureton gets man of the match, which is probably fair.
Such a dull match, I don’t know why the USA bothered.
So, with little else to say, that wraps up tonight’s shenanigans. Peter is glad you came
In all seriousness though, we’ve got a couple of posts left before we reach the end, so to be able to bring you an occasion such as this is a real pleasure. Toodles for now
Good greetings to you, and it is with a tinge of sadness I welcome you to the first update of season 29, the 2025/26 season. On the one hand, it is a World Cup year and Peter Beardsley is struggling to contain his excitement – he’s even broke back into his own Man City team, but more on that later. However, it’s also the final season the game will allow us, for you see back in the 90s it was impossible to comprehend a saved game lasting more than 30 seasons. Well, that and store wasn’t quite what it is now and it was probably a vital facet to make the game work. Anyway. that tangent aside, let’s press on.
One of my old clubs is in the news to kick off the season, Newcastle finally losing patience with Damien Johnson
It’s a fair sacking, I had them as league and European contenders. They’ve just finished 12th. I’m not even remotely interested in going back – I’ve done my bit, it’s not my fault they can’t maintain it – but they come calling anyway
So despite the chairman singing the Jackson 5’s Want you back down the phone, it’s a no from me and they’ll have to go elsewhere.
Now remember, Everton legend David Unsworth has no affiliation to anybody and made his name in management at Liverpool, before embarking on a fairly successful career in Spain. He went back to Liverpool before shockingly moving across the North West to Man Utd. Well, the latest wad of cash has tempted him up north.
I am more than a little disappointed they didn’t go for Beardsley, that would have been a good story. Man Utd turn their attention to a more handsome man
No thanks. There’s work to be done at Darlington. Attention is turned to former England centre half Kevin Ablett, for reasons I’m not really sure on.
There’s more changes to come, but first, the season opener. The last ever Charity Shield. We’re in it! I almost forgot.
My, what a filthy game. We are second best throughout and 9 men makes no difference. Hmm.
Our first European game is a bit of a scare, and these injuries are getting out of hand. The unflappable Marcus Carbon holds his nerve and is one of my favourite ever free transfers
We’re relying very heavily on him now, as want away striker Joel “Bakayoko” Domoraud suffers a Save game ending injury.
It’s a new level of injury when you can say he will not feature again in this save. It’s a big loss, he’s played a huge part in getting us back in the big time. Be that as it may though, we’re in the Cup Winners Cup quarter finals
Anyway, back on the merry go round you all go. Italy have had enough.
Italy have qualified for World Cup 2026 but like many who have gone before him, that’s the trigger for a change. Matt’s out, and…
Good old Des. I hope he’s utterly crap in the World Cup though. Remember, Steve Haslam is Spain manager, but neither have a 64 year old at their disposal, so I’m not worried. Arsenal lure reigning Premier League champion Pat Graham from Leeds.
It’s like a reverse George Graham. Scott Colcombe, who is another who seems to jump ship at the slightest wave of a ten pound note, goes to what is quite a cushy job.
Chelsea are the latest to look me up in the yellow pages
NO DEAL! You’ll need to find someone with even less work ethic, if you can
Fair enough. So, as an update of much change and very little football, let’s look at some league tables.
Thirs is very much a best of the rest type scenario. Leeds & Arsenal are runaway leaders, but both are under new management so we’ll see if that de-rails them. Arsenal seem fairly unpenetrable, whereas we are one of the most porous sides in the league but fortunately we also have an eye for goal. I’m not even playing the crazy 3-1-3-3, it’s the old favourite 5-3-2. Anyway, at least we’re not Stoke.
I’ll leave you with my favourite free transfer find. Mr Carbon is pushing for an England call.
Not a bad career average
Have mercy on us if he gets injured. With that though, another update comes to a close. Two to go 🙁 As ever, I’ll leave you with the main man, closing in on 100 caps and having forced himself back into his own lineup, however that works
Cap 99 will come in a friendly vs Brazil with cap 100 due to be away in Switzerland. I might save that honour for the home friendly with the USA in March. He deserves a capacity Wembley crowd for the big 100. Until next time…
Here we are again then, update o’clock. We’ve reached boiling point in the 2024/25 season, with Darlington not only scrapping it out for European places via the league but also just one game from Wembley too. Added to that we’ve got a trio of home friendlies for England as 64 year old Beardsley edges towards 100 caps. What are we waiting for? To the next paragraph!
Oh yeah, as ever we start with the pointless cup. First Division Crewe are looking to spring a surprise over Chelsea.
They’ve only bloody done it! Crewe celebrate by going on to win the playoffs so they’ll be in the Premier League next season. It’s what Dario Gradi would want.
FA Cup
So, the Darlo boys have rallied a bit and having survived a couple of replays, it’s a kind draw with First Division Derby facing us at Old Trafford.
Not exactly upset that West Ham saw off Arsenal, they are far more beatable in the final.
Final day comes and these two sides battle it out for 120 minutes, with a very late equaliser from Monsieur Christanval. Penalties!
No! In the FA’s wisdom, in these days you battle out 120 minutes in front of 80,000 people and at the end of extra time, shake hands and come back and do it all again on a Wednesday night. Stupidity.
We get the job done though, stupid scheduling aside, and we will play in Europe next season. Hurrah! The Cup Winners Cup won’t know what hit it.
Champions League
Those of you with attention to detail will realise that the FA Cup final replay takes place at the same time as the Champions League final. It got me wondering what would happen if I’d been in the Champions League final and had to face an FA Cup final replay…scheduling nightmare. Anyway, not my problem. The Champions League final will feature Hercules for the third season in a row, and they are defending champions afterall. For once though, the Milan team they will face is Inter rather than AC.
What an enthralling night. Anyway, the final is an absolute belter.
Last minute equaliser from one of the Ferrante brothers forces extra time but it’s heartbreak for the Italians. Hercules retain! For those wondering, Arsenal won the Cup Winners Cup but Atletico Madird beat Aston Villa in the final of the UEFA Cup.
Premier League
With the cups decided, it’s a pretty tight table from 3rd onwards. Leeds and Chelsea are the most consistent sides in the league and Leeds actually retain the Premier League title from Chelsea for the second consecutive year.
I’m happy with fifth, it would get us into the UEFA Cup but our FA Cup exploits mean we take Cup Winners Cup action on next season. At the bottom, Norwich & Blackburn are relegated with plenty of time to spare whilst Wolves narrowly miss out to Stoke. Beardsley limps to 14th.
Mind you, Beardsley has been pretty busy. A trio of England friendlies round off the season, and the big man gets stuck in.
10 out of 10. Take that, Cayman Islands.
Penalty against the Uruguayans? No bother.
Two against Yemen? I should think so.
He’s some lad. 96 caps on the board now as we head into a World Cup season.
Time for some awards to finish with
Bakayoko junior-junior taking the plaudits. He has played a huge part in transforming us from Division 1 also-rans to FA Cup winners. No awards of note elsewhere
Unfortunately, these awards come with a price. His head is turned…
He doesn’t have a big club release clause though, so that’s tough mate.
That’s all for now though. Join me next time as we head into our final season, with Darlington on a European tour and Beardsley homing in on 100 caps. Bye for now!
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Steady on, we’re about to cross into 2025. The penultimate season of this crazy story is reaching a typically exciting finale, as Darlington aim to survive in the deep end in their return season to top flight football. Elsewhere, England’s pointless array of friendlies continue and the season’s first final is set. Superstar DJ, here we go!
The Pointless Cup can be a good way to build confidence but as we’re going well in the league and the FA Cup yet to get underway, I’m even less bothered than usual that we exit on penalties
The semi-finals are a little bit unusual. Beardsley’s Man City have a first leg lead but Chelsea turn it round. Meanwhile first division Crewe stun Boro and it’s Chelsea vs Crewe in the first final of the season.
Speaking of Beardsley, the old fella has turned 64. He celebrates with a goal against Scotland a few months before his birthday
Then by saving my skin with a draw against the USA. Dooley indeed.
Here’s Beardsley at 64 for your viewing pleasure
In the real cup, my aim to use it as a passageway to Europe is still alive. Seeing off Leicester in the quarters gets us to the neutral venue stage
So I’m not exactly heartbroken to be drawn against Derby or Hull. Especially when Derby stun Hull in the replay – so First Division opposition in the semis for us.
With Crewe representing the football league in the Pointless cup final, and our step up to the Premier League being rather seamless, it does make me think that the gap between the Premier and First division is narrowing by the year. However it’s 2025 and I doubt anybody really cares.
Meanwhile, English interest in the Champions League is over after Leeds are beaten by Inter Milan.
Hercules are a very consistent Spanish side, they’re always in the latter stages. Milan have recovered from my loss and top the Italian league so they’ll be back next year, whereas Twente have made it this far without having Steve McClaren, so that fake Dutch accent is for nothing. The semi final draw could lead to an all Italian final
All that’s left for me to do is show you the League table. Leeds are looking a steady bet to retain their title, whilst we are flying high in 5th
The 2nd Champions League spot is probably out of reach, but we’re on for European qualification one way or another. At the bottom, it’s looking like 3 from 4 to go down, but at least Beardsley is relatively safe, even if the entertainment value at Maine Road hasn’t improved.
I’ve ditched the 3-1-3-3 and got back to my favoured 5-3-2, finally some bids came in for fringe players and it’s allowed me to buy some more centre backs. We’ve had a lot of annoying injurites, of which Domoraud and McNiven are the latest so I’ll have to patch them up
Just 4 updates to go now then, so make the most of my wittering. The finale to this season will hopefully see me in a cup final, plus Beardsley’s glamour friendlies against Yemen & The Cayman Islands. It might be better than it sounds. Bye for now.
Did somebody say season 28? Well if they didn’t, they should be, because that is what the 2024/25 season is better known as. Darlington take their first steps back in the Premier League whereas England, as holders of the World Cup, are saved the indignity of having to qualify. It’s just a meaningless run of friendlies, all about preparation for World Cup 2026…and a chance to get Beardsley ever closer to his 100th cap. I’ve arranged friendlies next June against the Cayman Islands and Yemen to help him on his way, but more on that later.
So, Darlington. The first season after promotion is always one of the toughest, and I’m not helped by having a very full squad. As a result it’s taken a few months to get somewhere near where I want to be. Here’s the squad as we reach November
I’ve stuck with the 3-1-3-3 that saw us shoot up the Division 1 table to snatch automatic promotion, partially because I built a squad around it but also because I can’t attract any decent centre halves. So having just one works for us.
Christanval is my newest signing, I can’t believe he was only £250k
Great tackling, heading, positioning whilst being creative with good passing. He’s a dream. Other famous faces including Bakayoko v3 Joel Domoraud and Rui Eusebio, who is about the 4th version of Luis Figo. Nogueira you may remember is Zidane, who I had at Newcastle.
More on how Darlington have got on later. Where are my manners though, the season opener has happened and it went to penalties.
Great times there then. Meanwhile England’s friendlies are underway, with Chile visiting Wembley
Love you, Peter. He’s approaching 64, which the Beatles sang a song about, but he’s hit 90 caps, which is great news.
He’s still not picking himself for Man City, so I suppose that’s helping his managerial career.
We’re in the last 16 of the pointless cup, words can’t do justice to my excitement here but Palace away is what dreams are made of in a competition with no actual reward.
My aim this season is to get back into Europe, whether it be through League position (unlikely) or by winning the FA Cup…which is probably as unlikely but you never know. The league is going ok so far, we’re not in the bottom 5 which is a plus
Unsurprisingly my open formation means we score as many as we concede – we’re particularly rough on the road, where we have won once and that was at Boro, which is barely away at all for us.
At least we’re not Blackburn…
Not looking great for Beardsley either, with seemingly no incidents taking place in their matches.
So there we go, part 1 is banked and we can all get on with our days. I make it 5 updates to go if the rumours are true and the end comes in 2026…I am nervous. See you next time!
It’s the end of season 27 and that of course means it’s Euro 2024. England head to Portugal having won Euro 2020 and World Cup 2022, which begs the question would our media still got mad for it if we were that good? Who knows. Elsewhere, Darlington’s promotion crusade reaches a pivotal end – will it be automatic promotion or the dreaded playoffs again? Let’s find out.
Why break a 26 season habit? Pointless Cup up first
League Cup
Everton vs Man Utd is a decent game historically, this is not one of them
Silverware for Francis Jeffers, and who can really say they are surprised by that?
FA Cup
Semi final time first
Hurrah for symmetry.
Sheff Wed are of course defending champions as Kieron Dyer brings the good times back to Sheffield
For one year. Big Des wins the trophy for Arsenal.
Division 1
When I left you last, Darlington had rocketed up the table into a playoff position with an outside chance of going up automatically. Incredibly, with one game to go we’re still in with a shout
Liverpool’s run of form has been even better than our own, all it took was David Unsworth to go to Man Utd. The last game of the season sees both ourselves and Liverpool travel away. Leicester have half a chance.if they score a hatful away at champions Forest
We do our bit…
Can Liverpool deny us automatic promotion?
They can’t! We’re going up!
Leicester winning 1-0 at Forest could have been a heartbreaker but we won through in the end. Crystal Palace win the playoffs, so it’s bad news all round for Liverpool.
In the Premier League, Leeds are champions. It’s a story, I guess, but it not of much amusement so I won’t dwell on it. What I will focus on is Beardsley being in 3rd and Scott Colcombe securing 2nd for Chelsea.
Into the bottom half and I won’t be facing Derby, Burnley or Cardiff. Derby have been around in the top flight for a fair while, but not any more.
In the Champions League, Milan failed to defend the title I won for them, losing to Hercules in a reverse of last year’s final.
So all that’s left for us to do is hop over to Euro 2024. Here’s the England squad I have picked
Beardsley is in the mood, scoring the winner in a friendly against Scotland
That form is carried over into the tournament, with an opening game win over Sweden
We injured Thor, which is quite an achievement considering he has a hammer. Another nation in yellow are defeated which pretty much guarantees us a place in the last 8
Finally, it’s a game against Greece. Guess who?
He might be 63 but he loves a 90th minute winner here to take us to 3 out of 3
Armenia do us a massive favour and stun Spain, leaving the groups looking like this
A last 8 game with Armenia suits me just fine
We nearly mess it up but we were never in any real danger
The other quarter finals go to form
So it is the hosts Portugal in the semi finals, not an easy tie but we hang on for penalties…
The final awaits! We’re strangely good at penalties. However, there’s one man who really pays the penalty
Noooooooo! Anything but this. Facing Italy or France without the main man is a huge blow
Italy it is then, and the great irony that many of the team played for me at Milan. No Pedro, no party though
Ossari was my captain at Milan for a time, a midfielder no less but he’s kicked me in the nuts here. When substitute Stuart rammed in to take us to extra time I thought we were going to win it, but sudden death extra time has killed us. A huge shame. Would this man have helped?
Probably not, to be fair, but whatever. As we’re World Champions we qualify automatically for World Cup 2026 in Mexico, so there’s about 14 friendlies for Beardsley to enjoy.
Interestingly the game didn’t tell me where Euro 2028 will be, so it’s fair to say that won’t happen. The 30 season cut off point is looming large. Let’s finish with some awards
So on the plus side, Darlington will be back in the Premier League but on the negative side, there are, by my reckoning, only 2 seasons left to make them winners. The race is on! Join me again, won’t you?
Good day to you. I’ve got my feet back under the table at Darlington and have a bit of a job on my hands to try and get promotion at the first attempt. Elsewhere, England look to seal qualification to Euro 2024 and Milan look to defend every title without me. Let’s get on with it.
Firstly, I managed to keep England’s 100% record with a final win in the qualfiying campaign. Beardsley didn’t score so I don’t care
The group for the Euro’s isn’t that bad, but then it’s hard to know who is good anymore 27 seasons down the line
We’ll have full coverage of that in the next update.
Back in the here and now and it’s been a great run of form for Darlington. I’ve had to sell to buy but slowly I’ve formed a team that is just a point off automatic promotion.
I’ll take the playoffs if needs be but we’re in there with about 6 others scrapping for that 2nd spot. Phil Mulryne’s Notts Forest have ran away with it, he is a former Darlington gaffer of course.
I’ve rolled out the old 3-1-3-3 which is very attacking but I felt it was a risk worth taking. Zidane’s re-gen has joined after falling out of favour at Newcastle
So we’re well set for the remaining weeks of the season. This guy had scored 27 in 16, which I thought was worth taking a punt on. He also has a great name
He’s been fairly rubbish so far though, but we’ll see. Our League Cup campaign came to abrupt end at Old Trafford
Mulryne is cruely denied a final place though after a penalties loss, so it’ll be Everton vs Man Utd in the first final of the season.
Everton actually ended our FA Cup campaign in round 4, but they have since been knocked out. Mulryne’s going for it again though!
Meanwhile in Europe, Milan are struggling domestically since I left but they are doing well in trying to retain their Champions League title
Arsenal haven’t been the same without Haslam, but that’s life.
But domestically, what on earth has Savino done to them?
Disgusting. Anyway, it’s Leeds who top the Premier League, closely followed by Colcombe’s Chelsea. Beardsley has Man City well placed in 4th, though he still isn’t picking himself. He’s 63 now and City are also on the verge of making the UEFA Cup final, bidding to retain the trophy they won. Arsenal are 5th trying to defend their Premier League title.
It’s looking very dicey indeed for Middlesbrough, they are looknig a bit cut adrift along with Burnley. It can all change though as the pressure grows!
So then, another update banked and we’re now on the way to Euro 2024. Can I go there with a spring in my step with promotion in my back pocket? We’ll find out next time. Here’s 63 year old Peter Beardsley to see us out
Look at his 9 assists in the last 2 season internationally! He doesn’t have 19 creativity for nothing. See you next time!
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Did somebody say Season 27? Well regardless, that’s where we are now, the 23/24 season promises much and ends with Portugal 2024. England are just a point away from qualifying with 3 games to go, and even then I could play a team of Peter Beardsley’s and still get through on goal difference. But this, my friends, is an update of great change. It’s all happening. In the words of Monday night football in the 90s, here we go here we go here we go THIS IS IT!
I’ll try and do this in chronological order, to really tell a story. Firstly, the managers seat at Everton needs filling. This is…actually quite feasible.
Going back to his roots, I like it.
Steve Haslam wins the Charity Shield as the curtain lifts on another drama filled season
I want to leave Milan but nowhere takes my fancy, I’m desperate for the Darlington job. We win a surprisingly entertaining Italian Charity Shield
We save the defensive stuff for Serie A. Just as I’m contemplating another all conquering season, IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED
Feethams, I am coming home.
Unsurprisingly the board jump at the opportunity to appoint a Multi Champions League winning club legend. If you are new to the blog, I started this career at Darlington and took them to Champions League glory. Now though they sit marooned midtable in Division 1, with a mess of a squad and some re-building to do
It’s going to take some sorting out but time is on our side.
Our first win arrives at White Hart Lane
Meanwhile it seems the rest of the world is going manager crazy
Spain qualify for the Euros but the manager…just doesn’t fancy it. Who do you get?
Obviously. Haslam follows in my footsteps and takes the Spain gig. Hopefully we meet in the final. Arsenal opt for former Liverpool failure big Des
He has taken Stoke to the Prem but they could surely have done better. Milan replace me with Roma’s manager
Chelsea also decide to get involved and sack Dean Chandler
For the second time in this save, Chelsea poach Man Utd’s manager.
Man Utd have no care and take Unsworth from Liverpool.
Unsworth has no morals. The former Everton man has done great work at Liverpool and now Manchester United. Having said that, he leaves Liverpool 18th in Division 1.
In the middle of all that, England secured qualification by winning game 8 and then going on to win game 9 of their campaign
Beardsley digs deep with 10 men to see off Wales
One more for the old man. Lovely stuff.
Meanwhile it’s a period of transition at Darlington but there are signs that things are turning round, this is a big derby win in the pointless cup
The reward? Plymouth away.
When things need improving, you can always rely on a certain Ivory Coast re-gen.
Division 1 is notoriosuly unpredictable though. I mean, who saw this coming?
For those wondering, Swindon had both goalkeepers injured and a full squad. Silly boys.
So as we enter November, we’re just 6 points off the playoffs but we need to hit a run of form sooner rather than later. Goals are a problem.
In the Premier League, Chelsea are probably justified in sacking their manager
It’s very tight at the top though, that could turn into an epic battle as the season goes on. Even Beardsley is in there! Some rough starts at the bottom but there are already 4 looking a bit adrift.
So with that, we’ve reached the end of another update. Milan sit in 11th in Serie A, which I think says more about Alberto Savino than me. But join me next time as we look to take Darlo back to the big time, it’s going to be a long old slog!
VOTE NOW! The Football Blog Awards are upon us and we’re hoping to get a nomination in the best Gaming Football blog category. You can do us a huge favour by voting here or by tweeting the following:
I am voting in @TheFBAs for @cm9798 as the Best #Gaming Football Blog
