Welcome back! As the sands of time move us into 2021, celebrations are in order for one of this blog’s favourite characters. There’s also some actual football, as we move towards the business end of the season, so without further delay, let’s crack on.

We may as well get this out of the way early doors. If you saw our Twitter midweek you’ll know that Peter Beardsley turned 60. In celebration of this achievement, there’s a tribute piece here looking at his career and a special celebration game where I took my Milan side to Grimsby. Whilst I contemplate what my life has become, we’ll check in on Beardsley later.

Back to the serious nature of the 20/21 season and we have our first final of the season

Last season’s Premier League champions edge past surprise package Hull, who have become a very good side under Paul Warhurst. Warhurst is of course a legend of CM days past so it’s maybe no surprise that even in managerial form, he is great. Man Utd are the table toppers so it promises to be quite the final.

We could be on for a repeat in the FA Cup too

Chelsea will expect to see off First Division Sheff Utd, whilst Nick Barmby’s Boro have their work cut out against Man Utd. Scott Colcombe has done a wonderful job at Man Utd, despite nobody knowing who he is.

English clubs are going very well in Europe too, although Le Tissier’s Chelsea have fallen to David Unsworth’s Real Madrid.

The last 4 lineup is quite interesting. Newcastle are of course going for a third consecutive Champions League, this time under Damien Johnson, whilst Real Madrid have  fallen to Newcastle in each of the previous 2 seasons. Arsenal are now managed by Steve Haslam who has a pedigree of going far in tournaments…and then losing.

Fiorentina are a fine side, but seemingly not quite as good as my Milan side

You wouldn’t rule them out having a push at retaining their title, my form has faultered quite a lot over recent months and we’re hanging on to top spot. Although I have signed the famous Japhet N’Doram re-gen to help out (Manga Ayew from the Darlo days)

It says it all that my top 2 average ratings are my goalkeepers

So with just 8 games to go, we’re in pole position but we’ll see what we can do.

We’re still in the Coppa Italia too, which is nice

We’ve already taken out Roma, Fiorentina and Salernitana so Cagliari should be a walk in the park by contrast. It won’t be.

Back over in England and whilst it’s no surprise to see Man Utd top of the table, the rest of the top 5 is a little bit strange, certainly based on recent seasons. Is this a power shift in the Premier League hierarchy?

Champions Chelsea not even close to retaining though I supposei f they can win their games in hand it will look a bit more respectable. Meanwhile at the bottom:

It’s awful to see Darlington in this state, their new manager has had no effect. Sadly Steve Haslam hasn’t done much to help Arsenal either, despite their Champions League run, they are also in danger of the drop. Norwich are another of my former clubs so read into that what you will.

But we’ll finish as we started, with the great man now in his 60’s.

A goal every 5 games is pretty good, all things considered. His stats are on the steady decline again but, who knows why. Look at their form!

A 60th birthday and a promotion? Don’t bet against it. Join me next time as we find out exactly how well a 60 year old copes with playoff pressure…

Have you been following Scotland in World Cup 2002? If not check out their last 16 clash with Portugal here or the CM9798 book available on Amazon

Many happy returns are in order to Peter Beardsley, who has just turned 60.

Beardsley celebrated the last game of his 50’s by playing 54 minutes of Grimsby’s 3-2 win away at Southampton in Division 3, a remarkable 42 years since his debut for Carlisle in 1979.

A special Peter Beardsley Celebration game has been arranged, as AC Milan visit Blundell Park to pay tribute to the hero of the hour.

“I’m amazed even 8,000 people came,” explained Beardsley.

We’ll take a quick look at Pedro’s career during this save

After joining Bolton from Newcastle, Beardsley rammed in 15 goals on his way to keeping Bolton in the Premier League, with the Trotters finishing 14th. It’s relegation though in 1999, with no goals in 12 games Bolton finish 18th and drop down to the second tier, where they stay for a couple of season with Beardsley making minimal impact

As Beardsley turns 40, he is still picking up plenty game time at Bolton but when Jack Charlton retires from Middlesbrough, the call comes from the main man to take his first steps in management. It’s a Premier League job and Peter takes it very seriously, not picking himself for a few season. It’s all going so well with a 9th placed finish followed by a slightly less impressive 16th in 04/05, and the slide continues into 05/06 where Middlesbrough finish 18th and are relegated. Despite that, Beardsley keeps his job and brings the Boro back to the Premier League at the first time of asking. It’s all going well for Pedro as they finish 6th and 7th 2007/08 and 08/09 respectively. Beardsley then scores his first goal for Middlesbrough 7 years after joining them as they finish 13th in 09/10. Bitten by the bug, Beardsley scores twice the following season as the Teesiders finish 10th, and Beardsley makes 50.

Things start to unravel for Peter as Boro crawl to a 16th placed finish in 2012. It’s a sign of things to come as 12/13 sees Boro finish rock bottom, as Beardsley is relegated for a second time. After getting off to a sluggish start, Beardsley is dismissed from Middlesbrough in the 2013/14 season with the club 14th in Division 1. He doesn’t have to wait long before he is back in the game, with Rotherham offering him the position of player-manager for the 2014/15 season. Despite being 53, Beardsley picks himself for near enough every game and, even more remarkably, ends up being promoted to Division 2 via the playoffs. At the end of the 16/17 season, Beardsley’s stats have declined so much he is unrated in several categories as Rotherham as Rotherham maintain a midtable position in Division 2

After a few seasons of no progress, Rotherham sack Beardsley. Despite being 57, Grimsby and Plymouth both offer him a contract as a player only – Beardsley opts for Grimsby, presumably because they play in Black & White. Grimsby currently sit 6th in Division 3, with Beardsley a regular starter and even having filled in at centre half!

So here’s to you Peter Beardsley, 60 and still going strong. You’re never too old!

It’s season 24! Or if you prefer, the 2020/21 season. As the footballing world comes to terms with England winning their first tournament since 1966, this is a very different world. Barcelona will start the season in the second tier of the Spanish league, on the hunt for a new manager who can guide them back to the top. Newcastle also need a new manager, as I have left them after 8 years and multiple trophies. Where now? Taxi!

First up though, Barcelona appoint this chap as manager.

Toni has had 2 spells as Atletico Madrid manager as well as various other jobs across Italy and Spain since turning to management in 2000. Good luck to him.

I don’t want to drop into the second tier of anywhere so it is with great relief that a top European club comes calling

They have £170m in the bank and were champions just two seasons ago. Sign me up.

Serie A is not a league I’ve managed in during this save so it’s always good to complete the set of all 3 leagues. It seems to be a very tight league, looking at the history everybody has a chance

Cesena, for example, are now in Serie B. Verona feel the need to dispense with Carlo Ancelotti

Whilst we’re on a managerial tangent, David Platt is free to take over

Having been runner up in the league last season it hasn’t quite gone to plan in the opening 2 months so Platt’s away, and takes up the Verona hotseat. We’re not done though…

Steve! No! Haslam never really recovered from missing out on the quadruple (and actually winning nothing) in 17/18 so it’s a shame, but after narrowly escaping relegation last season it’s probably for the best. Long serving defender Chema is appointed, he’s played over 500 games for them so it’s probably wise.

Arsenal need a new manager and as is so often the way, Haslam is back in business

I also need replacing at Newcastle, lest we forget.

Never in my life did I imagine I would be replaced by Damien Johnson. Villa appoint former Athlete turned commentator in his place

Of course it’s a different Steve Cram but whatever. Liverpool’s beleagured boss also calls it a day

That was a disaster from start to finish

Long serving defender and former England international Des Rodosthenous is appointed. Good old Des.

Anyway, back to Italy and I’ve set about spending some money

Our first game is a cup win, a goal for Nicoletti is a common theme.

After a slow start, it’s not long before we’re firing on all cylinders

This was Udinese’s first defeat of the season. Shots fired.

Nicoletti has strange stats for a forward but an unbelievable goals return

We’re also in the Coppa Italia quarter finals

So a very promising start and we sit 3rd after 10 games.

When I arrived I would have settled for European qualification (we aren’t in Europe at all this season) but if we can put a run together there is nothing to fear in this league, it’s very strange.

Over in England, the traditional curtain raiser

Rubbish. Arsenal win on pens and Platt still resigns. Some people are never happy.

Man Utd are the early leaders, conceding only 3 is quite ominous but I didn’t expect to see Cardiff and Hull in 2nd and 3rd.

Newcastle are seemingly average without me, though Villa have nosedived without Damien Johnson.

Darlington and Aston Villa have watertight defences. That could be two former league winners going down.

So that brings us to the conclusion of this update but no new post is complete without dropping in on Peter Beardsley’s career

This will be the last update of his 50’s but I am planning a special Beardsley at 60 post to pay tribute to a playing career spanning over 40 years. I’m off to brush up on my Italian, see you again.

For more CM9798, check out my series over at The Higher Tempo Press or buy the book on Amazon

…we could dance it in France. The lyrics from Baddiel & Skinner’s Three Lions 98, as England prepared to travel to France for World Cup 1998. Here we are in 2020 and the lyrics are relevant again, as France prepare to host the 2020 European Championships in this fictional but captivating universe. Before all of that though, this will be my last update as Newcastle manager as I prepare for pastures new but can I go out retaining the Champions League? Will one of Europe’s biggest clubs get out of the relegation mire? Is this the longest introduction I’ve ever written? Get on with it!

We start, as ever, with the pointless cup

League Cup

It’s the final everybody wanted to see – Sheff Wed versus Norwich. Although I suppose if you want a back story, Sheff Wed appointed Norwich manager Dean Chandler back in the summer so maybe there’s some bad blood.

Great scenes as the first division club get the win. My former club of course…

FA Cup

So whilst a First Division club win the pointless cup, Division 3 champions Colwyn Bay are in the FA Cup semis!

Bryan Robson shoots down Bambi – see you later, no mercy. But we need a replay to separate Man Utd and Chelsea. Good of the FA to hav Man City play at Old Trafford and Man Utd  at Anfield. I bet there was no trouble at all.

Anyway, Le Tissier gets the better of his former club and denies the world a Manchester derby final.

And so to the final then, and more white hot action

Le Tissier is actually chasing the double, which is where we’ll head next.

Premier League

I have outside hopes of making it 3 league titles in a row but with a 12 point gap to bridge we don’t really get close. Fortunately there are stories at the top and bottom with one game to go

It’s a nice story that David Platt has gone to Arsenal and done so well, and it’s a decent side note that Matt Le Tissier manages Chelsea, having been relegated with Arsenal but also won a league title with them.

It’s been a real fall from grace for Darlington. After blowing the quadruple in his frist season things have got steadily worse for Steve Haslam and they are surviving on goal difference alone with one game to go. To make matters worse, look who my last match is against…

I made Darlo a Premier League club so I don’t really want to relegate them, so playing out a 0-0 draw might not be enough. Meanwhile, that title race has gone right to the wire. Chelsea can seal the double with a win at Villa

Goodness me, drama! The door is ajar for David Platt’s Arsenal. All they have to do is beat already relegated Burnley

Oh my days. Wenger out. Platt out. Everybody out.

Darlo survive as Everton edge past Preston.

Leaving the final table looking like this:

Leeds’ first season in the top flight for 7 years sees them finsih a surprise 4th, but it’s a real hodge podge always. At the bottom…

Bad seasons for Darlington and Liverpool but they live to fight another day.

Champions League

So as I’ve failed to retain the title on a domestic level, can we at least do it in Europe?

West Ham ran us pretty close after a terrible 2nd leg performance but we hang on to book a final with Serie A champions Fiorentina.

So to the final, also in France to fit with the theme of this update

Woo and yay. That is my last match as Newcastle manager, and on my birthday no less.

There’s nearly a hat trick of English success

Bryan Robson going nuts in…Finland. I don’t know why.

In the final domestic action before we head off to Euro 2020, Barcelona are fighting for their La Liga lives. They’re making a fist of it too, and it all comes down to their final game.

Who are they playing?

Well it’s only their huge rivals Real Madrid, who under David Unsworth now have the chance to relegate their enemies whilst being presented with the La Liga trophy. Good grief.

Carnage. Barcelona will play in the Segunda next season, alongside Barcelona B. And Real Madrid B.

With that, let’s get to France. Here’s the England squad for Euro 2020

Euro 2020

I really want that England job, so I hope they depart in the groups. Sorry.

So this is a pleasing start.

Anybody who left this early is an idiot.

Back to England though and despite my centre half getting an early red card, England find a goal and keep themselves in the tournament. Rats.

Can Denmark get the job done for me?

Rubbish. It’s a quarter final for England, hopefully that’s as far as it goes. Here’s the final groups

I bet Spain are pleased they sacked their manager. Quarter final draw is out

Germany! You can always rely on them to get the job done

Germany lose their discipline and England run riot. Fuchs.

A re-match with Portugal then, who beat England in their opening game. Repeat please.

First though, Holland and Italy thrash it out and shock horror, the Dutch lose on pens

But who will face Italy in the final?

England are in the final! They couldn’t, could they? Italy won in 2012 and 2016 so they’ll be hungry for a hat trick

So, I’ll never be England manager. But really this is a momentous occasion, England have won the European Championships! A sign of things to come?

Off to Portugal in 2024

Let’s hand out some awards

It’s time to win manager of the year, hopefully that works in my favour when I murder Manuel Gagno and take his England job. Antonio Carlos (Ronaldo) is a worthy winner of football of the year.

Retirements time, and thankfully Beardsley isn’t one of them.

Look out for Beardsley at 60 in the coming weeks.

I didn’t even know Trapp was still managing, but as he’s jsut turned 81 I think this is for the best

Former Spain manager and current AC Milan manager Delio Rossi also quits

And, having failed to save Barca, Chano calls it a day. Again.

But that’s it, in just over 1000 words. Sorry about that. What will the 20/21 season bring? I dread to think. But I’ll be starting a new job, so that’s something. See you then!

For more CM9798, catch up with my Classic Championship Manager series or check out the book out now

Hello! We’re back again, and as the clock ticks into 2020 there’s still more than enough incident to squeeze 500 words out of. But who will 2020 be a perfect vision for? With that joke out of the way, let’s crack on.

This update starts with one of the marquee clubs of Europe in a spot of bother

As you can imagine, the’re not in a good place if the axe has been wielded

5 goals in 12 games…unheard of at Camp Nou. But who is going to take on the role of saving them?

Hmm. I can’t deny I am very tempted, not least because I have a holiday in Barcelona this summer, but also because I want out of Newcastle. However, I also want to win the World Club Cup and be in a good position if the England job becomes available. So sorry lads, you’ll have to look elsewhere

This guy again. You may remember he “retired” which actually freed up the Sevilla job for me. Then he magically unretired and took the Real Madrid job…so he’s managed both Real and Barca now. Bearing in mind that was about 10 years ago, it’s incredible he’s still going. The spanish Fergie in that regard.

Anyway, because there’s no show without punch, the Spain gaffer gets the sack too

No real reason for that, just fancy a change. I do fancy another crack at the Spain job but they, probably wisely, opt for the AC Milan manager instead.

Speaking of Spain, the Euro 2020 draw is out. England should be…I actually don’t know. By this point it’s all much of a muchness.

Back to achieving my dreams now and the World Club cup. We go all the way to Japan for 15,000 people to turn out on a December afternoon.

Woopy doo. Still, always nice to say you’re the best club side in the World. My work here is done.

For good measure, we also add the European Super Cup

Away goals, and 8,000 fans. Either football is very unpopular in 2020 or nobody cares about these competitions.

Something we do care about is the Champions League, where we’ll be looking to retain. Here’s a marker for anybody hoping to take the title off us

That’s better – and 10 times the crowd size.

Bodo-Glimt did well.

Monaco in the last 8 then, and despite a rare defeat at St. James’, we put things right in Monaco.

Fiorentina are top of Serie A so I’d like to avoid them. Everybody else is fair game.

West Ham are 12th so we’re heavy favourites, though they are managed by Gordon Milne who has a lot of beef with me going back to my Darlo days when he was at Man Utd. Up yours Gordon.

Both cup competitions are throwing in some surprises. Firstly, Norwich are going to Wembley

The old Sheff Wed/Norwich final, of course. But for real madness, you can rely on the FA Cup

Colwyn Bay are top of Division 3 by some distance but that is ridiculous. Arsenal are second in the league!

We’ll be rooting for Colwyn Bay in the semi final, with Bryan Robson poised to be party pooper.

Before I round up the Premier League, I know you’re all wondering how Beardsley is getting on. It’s been a barren few months for old Peter, despite celebrating his 59th birthday he’s even been pressed into duty at centre half.

That’ll never catch on. Still, he’s turned out 40 times this season, he must be knackered.

So to the Premier League, all of our exploits have taken their toll and I’d say it’s near impossible for us to retain the title from this position

12 points is far too many, we’ll need a minor miracle. I don’t care though, I’ve done the job I came to do and much more. But where will I go next?

Darlington perhaps!? Not going well for Haslam at all, I fear for them. I would love to go back there and re-build them to be title challengers, but I can’t let it hit my England hopes. Time is running out.

So as we finish another update, there’s lots still to play for in the final few months of the season. Barcelona appointing a new manager has made very little difference…you have to say this would be a great escape

So join me next time to see if they can do it. Ciao for now

For more CM9798 check out the book on Amazon or the Classic Championship Manager series

Greetings to you and welcome to yet another new season. The 23rd season is upon us, and it’s fair to say I can clearly see how things are going to go, because soon it will be 2020. With that terrible pun banked, let’s crack on.

The season starts with the tale of two appointments, one very sensible and the other makes you question everything you know in life.

See that’s alright isn’t it? Bit of an Arsenal legend, played for them 20 years ago, lovely stuff. I love it when a plan comes togehter.

Manchester United legend takes over at Man City. It’s the stuff of nightmares…though I suppose Mark Hughes did it in the real world. And he follows in the footsteps of fellow Man Utd legend Phil Mulryne in playing for the reds and managing the blues. Good grief.

I hate the situation I’m in with Newcastle in some ways, having retained the league and won the Champions League, I’m very much a targeted man. I don’t like making the running, I prefer being underdogs. As such, this will be my last season at the club. Assuming I win the World Club Cup (everybody’s aim in life) then I’ve done all there is to do here and I will be packing my bags to let somebody else carry this on. Anyway, before I choke up, Charity Shield.

Lovely, we do love a Wembley appearance

Pierini is a diamond, I don’t know who he is though. Anyone wanting to guess?

The Champions League draw could have been kinder, with only one guaranteed qualifier we’ve got to take on Unsworth’s men.

I’m assuming Brondby and Bodo-Glimt will be cannon fodder but who knows.

Only drawing at home to Real Madrid puts us in a tricky spot, needing a draw in Madrid in our last game to be absolutely certain, assuming we beat Brondby at home.

So that’s in our hands at least, but our league form is…patchy

Sometimes the man just fits the club – David Platt has got Arsenal going great guns (no pun intended this time) and they’re well set at this early stage. We’re clinging on to the chasing pack, some terribly frustrating performances where we’ve peppered the opposition goal for little reward followed by a couple of bad away days has led us to 7th. I’ve tinkered with the formation to a 4-3-1-2 and it’s sometimes a little more porous than I’d like, but that’s life.

What’s happening here? Liverpool’s rookie manager is having a terrible time, whilst Damien Johnson has finally been found out. Kieron Dyer is not doing well at Derby and even Haslam has lost his magic. Goodness me.

One man who never loses his magic is Peter Beardsley. Turns out, all he needed was a good pre-season

Free from the shackles of management, this hero has hit the ground running. Look at him by November!

Get in Pedro lad. 10 goals and 5 assists better off in his 59th year, I think there’ll be some sort of celebratory post if Pedro makes 60. I just hope I can get the England job at some point so I can give him his 60th cap too. That’d be a story, make that happen please game.

And so, as we consider how stupid I would be to cap a 60 year old if I finally get the England job, that seems a good time to leave you for another week. But do join us as we cross into 2020, I’m sure I can find some more vision jokes and if you’re really good I’ll work some cricket ones in too. See you then!

Looking for a holiday read this summer? Check out The World According to CM9798 available for Kindle and in Paperback now!

Welcome along to the final update of the 2018/19 season. It’s our 22nd season and as speculation mounts about when the game cuts off, I’m sure it’s not any time soon and with that theory in the bank, let’s get on with handing out some trophies.

League Cup

So it’s the pointless cup up first and seeing as I haven’t won this in my career on this save, I’d like to add it to the collection

It’s in the bag! Not a vintage performance but it’s our 2nd trophy of the season. Our Dutch duo at the back have just started to get International recognition, so it’s no surprise one of them takes man of the match honours here.

FA Cup

Sadly we won’t be winning this one after our defeat to Damien Johnson’s Aston Villa in the quarters, and it’ll be a Villa vs Preston final.

Preston, managed by Stuart Pearce, have battled bravely against relegation but winning the cup would be a huge shock

Bit one sided. Damien Johnson is a genius.

Champions League

So, back to my involvement. The semi-final lineup saw us drawn against David Unsworth’s Real Madrid

A tremendous second leg performance at a raucous St James’ and it’ll be the Nou Camp in may for us. That final will be against Brann of Norway, somehow, who have beaten Ajax. They have no standout players and it’s not like Norway have been great, though they did host Euro 2012. Maybe they invested well? Either way, insert your own Brann for breakfast jokes here.

Champions of Europe! 9 years since I last won the trophy with Sevilla, it’s nice to be Europe’s best again. It’s my front 2 who do the damage again.

That’s the Super Cup, the League Cup and the Champions League in the bag – how about retaining the league?

Premier League

I’d love to give you the drama of last season’s title race but it fell a bit short as we won the title with a game to spare.

Derby had a game in hand at home to Preston but blew it and ended up losing the game, meaning the title race didn’t go down to the last day. It meant I could rest the entire team ahead of the Champions League final, which as you’ve already seen went to plan

Gordon Milne has taken West Ham to the Champions League, which is basically his way of continuing to get on my nerves. He managed Man Utd for a number of years and I thought I’d seen him off, but apparently not.

We must say good bye to Forest, Swansea & Barnsley though, despite two of them reaching the magical 40 point mark. The league is a lot tighter than when that landmark was dreamt up, with barely 30 points between top and 19th.

It’s fair to say our success is down in no small part down to Joni (Weah) and Antonio Carlos (Ronaldo)

Mariasson is also the famous Icelandic DM/FC who is on his third regeneration at the moment.

Good times. For the record, Milan won Serie A whilst Hercules won La Liga.

Everybody’s favourite aged footballer is still going, though his record at Grimsby isn’t great

His stats are…just wonderful

He’ll be hoping for a new managerial gig soon, you would think.

Time for some awards though, this was a nice haul

But for the real awards…

Incidentally Edmondson was on loan at Scarborough – he’s Michael Owen’s re-gen and will be in my first team plans going forwards.

This part is getting more and more like the Oscars where they do a tribute to those who have left us in the past 12 months

This was just the most vital-to-the-story 3, Stuart Pearce has also retired as manager. He’s yougner than Beardsley, who is still playing, so I don’t know what he’s playing at. There’s 12 retirements in all, which means there’s jobs everywhere.

So that’s it, another update in the bank. We can start to look forward to Euro 2020, and you just know I’ve got a load of vision based puns for that. See you then.

Looking for a holiday read? The World According to CM9798 is available in paperback and on Kindle!

Due to unpopular demand, we’re back with another list blog. Inspired by Richard Wright’s decision to retire, the Twittersphere began trying to recount who from CM9798 is still playing today. With their help, here they are for your viewing pleasure – and also their FM16 data for the sake of it. Let’s kick this off with the man himself

Richard Wright

In CM9798, Richard Wright is one of the finest young goalkeepers money can buy. It looked for a long time like Wright would fulfill that potential after moving to Arsenal and getting capped by England, but a red card against Malta summed it all up really. He retires today having been at Man City for 4 years and playing 0 games but winning a Premier League. Here he is on FM16…with a technique of 1.

Luca Toni

Sticking with the theme of recently retired, Luca Toni was just a young lad at Empoli in 1997

Fast forward 19 years and his pace has actually improved, in fact if I were him I’d reconsider retirement. Though having seen his Paneka penalty against Buffon, that’s the way to retire

Gianluigi Buffon

How’s that for a segway? Straight into the Buffon section. As an Under 21 International there were always high hopes for Buffon

However after getting his first cap during the 97/98 season, few could have predicted he’d go on to get well over 100 and still be the Italian number one 19 years later.

Robbie Keane

Speaking of players who made their International debut in 97/98 and went on to get well over 100 caps (that was a struggle)

Keane is one of the youngest players on CM9798 and although not loads of use in the first couple of seasons, it’s well worth acquiring him on the cheap and loaning him out for a few years until his potential starts to develop.

As time has passed, Keane’s pace has obviously declined but he’s still a useful striker in the MLS

Frank Lampard

Did somebody say MLS? It’s fair to say back in 9798 they had Lampard down as a bit of a wing wizard, with great dribbling and flair stats. Can’t argue with that shooting of 16.

After a glittering trophy-laden career at Chelsea (and briefly Man City), Lampard now resides at New York City FC. Interestingly, his pace is unchanged, which is remarkable after sitting on the bench at Man City for 12 months.

Shay Given

Now here’s a man who knows about Man City’s bench. Before all of that though, Shay Given was Newcastle’s number one after joining in the close season from Blackburn.

After finally growing tired of playing behind the likes of Titus Bramble and Peter Ramage, Given left for Man City in 2009 for the chance to win trophies. He won an FA Cup before losing his place to Joe Hart. After an average spell at Aston Villa, Given is now at Stoke. Despite a serious injury, Shay is expected to go to Euro 2016 as part of the Republic of Ireland squad

Eidur Gudjohnsen

Guess who else is going to Euro 2016!? That’s right, it’s Eidur Gudjohnsen. Here he is as a spritely 18 year old, who was for some reason pegged as being very aggressive.

I could be on all day listing Gudjohnsen’s clubs, it’s fair to say he had great times at Chelsea and Barcelona and then less good times across the rest of the world. Eidur is currently at Molde in Norway and will be off to Euro 2016. It’s remarkable as I thought he retired years ago, but I’m all for it.

Gabor Kiraly

Speaking of players I thought retired years ago but are going to Euro 2016, it’s the pyjama wearing Hungary hero Gabor Kiraly. Shot stopping 20 is very generous.

I mainly remember Kiraly wearing his jogging bottoms at Crystal Palace but he also went to Burnley and then seemingly he had 7 years at 1860 Munich. He’s now at Haladas in his homeland. Haladas is the Hungarian word for Progress, which is ironic on so many levels, considering old Gabor is now in his 40’s

Steve Harper

Another goalkeeper in his 40’s is Steve Harper, though his date of birth is inexplicably 5 years out on the 9798 database…and also he was born 14th March. Goodness knows what happened there

After spending a lot of years on Newcastle’s bench and making 157 appearances in 20 years, Harper was finally released and played for Hull for a couple of seasons. At 40, Harper looked set to retire but Sam Allardyce saw him as experienced backup at Sunderland so that’s where we find him on FM16

Francesco Totti

Another player who spent more than 20 years at one club is Francesco Totti, though to be fair he was a bit more successful than Steve Harper. Back in 97 though and Totti is a very promising, creative 20 year old.

What can I say about Francesco Totti? Having got man of the match in a losing effort at the Euro 2000 final, Italy extracted revenge by winning the 2006 World Cup on penalties against France. Totti scored one goal in the tournament – an injury time winning penalty against Australia. Here’s Totti on FM16 – will it be his last FM?

Mark Schwarzer

Who was in goal for that Totti penalty in 2006? Well it’s only this man.

After leaving Middlesbrough for Fulham in 2008, Schwarzer enjoyed 5 years at Craven Cottage before moving to Chelsea as a backup goalkeeper. Amazingly, Schwarzer won the Premier League in 2015 with Chelsea and then again with Leicester in 2016, though he didn’t play any games. Unsurprisingly his stats have dropped off a bit, though he did win over 100 caps for Australia.

Wes Brown

Another multi-time Premier League winner still plying his trade in England’s elite league is Wes Brown. Back in 97/98, he was still Wesley, but a very highly rated centre back nevertheless

With excellent heading, tackling and positioning it’s no wonder Brown made over 200 appearances for Man Utd despite numerous long term injuries. With a handful of England caps to boot, it’s been quite a career for young Wesley. Here he is on FM16 where he is very much experienced back up.

*With props to Emile Heskey (forgot) and Ze Roberto (dodgy 9798 stats) who should be in this list.

Have I forgotten anybody else? Tweet me to let me know

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Welcome back! We’re crossing into 2019 in this update, and somehow this game still finds ways to surprise me. Peter Beardsley is 58 but is still in demand, whilst Chelsea are throwing money at their problems. Newcastle are fighting for trophies on all fronts, so without further delay, let’s get to it.

As I rather prophetically noticed in the last update, Alvin Martin was sliding towards the trap door after 4 years of nothing at Chelsea.

So whilst that wasn’t a surprise, the replacement is a bit out there

Why is that strange? Well, Man Utd were 6th under the guidance of Le Tissier, whilst Chelsea are 19th. Such an odd career move.

Man Utd take Derby’s manager

Derby have hideous amounts of money in the bank, so the last thing they should do is appoint some notorious for wasting money

Oh.

A few months down the line and somehow Chelsea are able to attract one of England’s finest forwards

Darlington have ran into financial troubles after failing to win their Champions League qualifier and had a bit of a firesale to keep themselves in the black.

Anyway, back in the world of Division 2, Rotherham have  finally had enough of a 58 year old who picks himself every game

What’s quite telling is that nobody wants him as a manager, but as a player…

Two great choices, but it’s Grimsby for Pedro

As he’s not the manager, he finds himself as sub more often than not and is yet to open his account. He earns £400 a week…

On to the actual football now and I’m pleased to say we are European Super Cup champions.

We did most of the damage at home and saw it out away. Get in.

Hercules are top of La Liga so it bodes well for us that we can dismantle them so easily.

With one trophy in the bag (I’m not counting the Charity Shield) we’re well placed to win another, even if it is the pointless cup.

David Platt’s Blackburn will be a tougher test in the final but we’ll be favourites.

Unfortunately we won’t be winning the FA Cup

We led 1-0 but two goals in the final 10 minutes for Villa send us out. It’s a shame but we’ve got enough on our plates, which we’ll come back to shortly.

The semi final lineup goes on without us.

In Europe, we negotiated our Champions Leageue group with ease.

The quarter final saw us go up against former champions PSV but we just about saw them off

Brann had Marseille for breakfast (sorry). Although it has to be said, it’s a massive surprise to see them in the last 4. Sadly it’s a show down with David Unsworth and my former club Real Madrid in the semis

So whilst my Champions League hopes are in the balance, we’re looking pretty good to retain our league title, even if we trail Haslam’s Darlington right now

With 2 games in hand, we should have enough to see Darlington off, especially since their fire sale at the end of the transfer window. You can’t rule out any of the top 6 in truth, we’ve seen in recent seasons teams can go on runs and my fixture pile up is concerning.

Forest have slipped to the foot of the table, as Chelsea look to have clawed themselves away from danger. I’m still not sure why le Tissier left Man Utd for the Chelsea gig but he might be proved right if Chelsea can overtake Man Utd in the last 7 games, which you wouldn’t rule out.

So there we go, we’re all set up for the final sprint. Can we retain our title? Will David Unsworth see me off in the Champions League? Is Peter Beardsley going to score for Grimsby? All of this, and more, will be revealed next time. Toodles for now.

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