Here’s Nathan this Autumunal Tuesday to round off season 1 with Benidorm…

Hello. We are back in Benidorm, where you will find more mobility scooters than pets. In the last update Brian got super excited because King Kev was on the opposing bench as we took on Sevilla. We also went on a fantastic run that saw us hit top spot for now. Let’s jump straight into this update.

March

We have a genuine chance of promotion here. Pete and I are treating it as business as usual around the training ground but you can sense the excitement round Benidorm. As the players arrive for training the lights in the changing room go out. Next thing the lockers spring open and illuminous paint sprays out everywhere and confetti cannons are going off everywhere! When the chaos stops there is a pair of light up trainers in the middle of the room. Pete finds the lights and flicks them on. Stood there is Sean Kirkby wearing a cheap Benidorm tshirt printed with “I’m Back” on the back of it. Everyone explodes laughing and cheering. He’s not in great shape but he can start running and gym work again. It’s great to have him back.

We have 3 games in March and we lose 2 of them which sees us lose top spot as well. The 3-0 loss against Toledo was a disgusting performance. We are second best in every department. I tear into the lads at full time, full hairdryer mode. Pete promises training will be a living hell and he lives up to it.

April

April begins with a good win over Numancia. Paulo & Micky where fantastic in this one. They bounced off each other and provided assists for each other’s goals. QPR come sniffing around Micky but he’s going nowhere this season.

In the middle of the night the phone is ringing off the hook. I check the time and it’s 3 in the morning, I swear if this is one of Kirkby’s wind ups i’ll kill him! I answer the phone and it’s the local police station saying i have a call. I accept and it’s my captain Denny on the other end. He’s been involved in a brawl and been arrested. I jump in the car and head to the station. Brian has been informed and he’s there already speaking with the top man in charge. I head into an interview room and Denny is sat there looking a real mess. He’s been in the Red Lion and let some fans comments get to him and he’s pasted two them. He’s then tripped over a fallen chair and knackered his ankle so he’s out for a month which is terrible timing. I tell him to stay away from the training ground until he’s fit again. Brian thankfully smooths over any charges.

April is a decent month for us. Those 2 0-0 draws where so frustrating! We were the better team for long periods but both strikers where just not at the races at all. Pete puts some extra focus in on the training ground which pays off in the next match with Micky grabbing 2 goals. We are top by 3 points going into the final 4 fixtures.

May

Exactly the result we need at this stage. Micky again is just sensational. Seeing him go from the shyest person I’ve ever met to a team leader, especially after losing Kirkby, has been sensational. I don’t think we will be able to keep hold of him in the summer.

We draw our next game which gives us a 4-point lead with 2 games to go. Our next game is against our closest rivals Elche. Before the game Kirkby stands up in front of the whole team. You could hear a pin drop. He says he feels like he let everyone down with his drinking and partying. He then says without the team and staff he wouldn’t be here today. It’s a moving speech and the team head out determined.

YES!!!! What a way to seal the title!! Micky was incredible yet again! He ran the Elche defence ragged all day long. He probably should have scored more if truth be told but on a day like today that doesn’t matter. The celebrations in the dressing room are incredible. Brian is in the bath fully suited with champagne being passed around everywhere.

It’s party time in Benidorm as we are crowned champions. Kirkby has worked like a monster to sort himself out and it’s fitting he scores our last goal of the season. Micky of course grabs himself a goal as well. Kirkby and Denny take the trophy together in front of a packed home stadium.

We finish 10 points ahead of Badajoz who put up a great fight for a long time. The scenes in Benidorm will stay with me forever. The whole town is out tonight and the team and staff are no exception. The trophy is out with us as well. Pride of place in Pedro’s dads’ bar. We end up all over Benidorm. The Red Lion, The Irish Bar, Morgans & Cafe Benidorm. My personal highlight was Brian and Kirkby doing a rendition of Sonny & Cher’s “I got you babe”. Kirkby dressed as Cher obviously.

It’s been a couple of weeks and Brian & I are sat in the same bar where it all began all them months ago. Brian pushes a large brown envelope towards me. There is new contract inside. He hands me a pen and says “Ready to do it all again?”…