When you start a new post on WordPress it rather optimistically asks “Do you have a favourite place you have visited?” which I guess is meant to act as a way of clearing writers block. My question would be, why are you starting a WordPress post if you have no thoughts on what to write? Anyway, it took care of my intro so who am I to argue? I’ve never been to Cowdenbeath but I am sure it would be in my top 50 places I have visited. In the world of CM9798, it’s September 2001 and we’re 3rd in the Scottish Premier Division. Sounds good but we finished 3rd last season and we are nowhere near the Old Firm. The early signs are that we are playing for third again…

A home game with Hearts should be a chance to consolidate 3rd but for some reason Marcus Bent really hates us and gives the away side the lead. Good old reliable Rod Wallace equalises to rescue a point.

Nick Barmby signs for £40k. His stats are awful but the scout says he’s good. At that price, I don’t care. Creativity 17.

We really give Celtic a scare for 68 minutes but then Batigol decides enough is enough. We do at least injure Rio Ferdinand, so it’s not a total waste of a day.

We’re 2-0 down at home to Partick Thistle for goodness sake. What have we become? Harold Lozano pulls one back and hot Rod equalises. 8 good minutes, 82 less good.

This less than impressive form is finally turned around as we play this season’s whipping boys, Aberdeen. 3 goals in 11 minutes sorts us out.

A cup semi final is normally a great occasion but against Rangers it’s like being given community service. Brian Laudrup was always there but it’s always mad that Rui Costa is there. Albertz makes it 3 before Peter Fear takes pity on us. Maybe next year.

Nevermind the cup, we’re in Edinburgh for a league game. Wallace & Dale are becoming quite the strike duo whereas the chiselled but slightly old figure of David Ginola seals the win. We’ll have that third place yet.

The George Weah regen! The board have finally let me pay £10k a week in wages, which will probably bankrupt us but with a £5k transfer fee I am confident he will be sold for more than that in a few months when some big meanies activate his big club release.

His debut sees us hold the mighty Rangers to a 0-0.

Nicolas Anelka on loan? Why don’t you try and stop me!

People will be wishing they did stop me. With a fluid front 4 we’re irresistible. Stenhousemuir can’t handle us. Bjorn scores and misses a pen, Weah junior gets off the mark and Rod Wallace picks up a hamstring injury. What a day out.

Arsenal decide enough is enough and bring Anelka back for a lifetime of nothingness.

His absence is not felt against Raith. Heidenstrom is Bjorn again in a central midfield role as we’ve had to drop Curcic to house Stimac, Mowgli and Lozano. Maybe it’s just poor opposition but that’s 9 goals in two games and we’re loving life.

This was a mess at Tannadice. Turning a deficit into a win and a win into a draw. We’ve had better days. Being totally objective about it we’ve had much worse days too, so that’s just life in the Scottish top tier.

I hate playing Hearts. Even a late red card for Saville (make your own jokes) isn’t tremendously helpful and we have to settle for a point.

It’s Celtic on Boxing Day and a healthy crowd turn out to see the Celtic all stars. Gabigol is at it again but a minute later Woods is sent off for being too handsy in the celebrations. Dale nicks a leveller late on and we try our best to win it but it wasn’t to be. A good result, say the board.

We have stirred into life though and I’m starting to wonder if Sasa Curcic is a bad egg. Without him we’ve been superb. Partick Thistle have two Bulgarian FLC’s, obviously working on the theory that at least one of them is Stoichkov. Regardless, even playing 50 minutes with 10 men doesn’t deter us from a grand day out.

Aberdeen are absolutely terrible. We score three in 5 minutes to ensure they remain out of touch.

Hibs are the next to feel the full force of the Cowdenjuggernaut. We’ll work on a name for that. It finishes 3-1 but it could have been many more.

We finish with a trip to Ibrox, never a happy hunting ground but we are strong, we have grown…and so only lose 1-0. Different league, really. Except they aren’t…

So as we come to the end of another trip up north of the border we find ourselves sat in 3rd place, again. We are the league’s top scorers though which is impressive when you consider who Celtic and Rangers have at their disposal. Goals against has always been our problem but that’s not our style. We’ll beat these buggers, eventually.

I won’t tease next week with “can we close a 13 point gap?!” because the answer will obviously be no. But we can try and finish 3rd again and try and have a cup run. The task really is to build a squad that at some point can close the gap. Weah Junior is a great example of that and if he leaves it will be for significant money. I need 10 more like him. The 3 non-EU thing is a problem but we’ll just have to manage that and sell Sasa Curcic. I think he’s been sneaking puddings anyway. See you next week.