We are trying to replicate what Sir Alex Ferguson did at Man United, we are at Bolton and we are rooted to the bottom of the table. 10 points from safety and there is only 14 games left. “Baldrick, this is a crisis..”

Our season will end in this episode. Whether it ends after game week 38 or with a short one-sided conversation with the Bolton hierarchy, we are about to find out.

Very tough test first time out. Away at Blackburn who sit in 2nd. At least it’ll be a quick drive back. We have a positive. Anelka is off the mark.

Birmingham have Bart Griemink in goal. We beat him once but the linesman flag is flagging. It’s almost over

Hands up who saw this coming?? Well it was Liverpool and we have beaten them every time we’ve played them. It’s the other 19 we struggle against. Nic gets the first treble of the save.

The amount of times the opposition keeper gets MoTM is quite depressing. This time Ian Walker enjoys his champagne on the bus back to London.

There’s still some fight in the legs. Hitoto finally scores for the club. He’s got all the numbers in the correct places but struggles to put the ball in the right place. He’s not alone in that fact.

The gap is 7 points with 9 left.

Whilst we have Anelka, we have a chance. Another hat-trick. 19th placed Wimbledon are defeated, but we made it tough for ourselves.

Newcastle are the side that sit just ahead of the drop zone, so this is frankly HUGE!!! Le Sulk Anelka with two and it’s ON

I’ll claim this is a good result. Leicester have one chalked off and had chances to win it. We are still fighting. We are no longer bottom of the table. The gap is 4 points with 6 left

Darren Sheridan I blinking love you! He’s been a squad player most of the season but sticks an important winner in. It’s 1 point with 5 left.

West Ham are a bogey team. Especially Abou. He’s injured, but so is Anelka. Nic will miss a month. That could be crucial. Big John on form. A bad result. Especially with whose next.

We actually competed. Okay we lost. But we were in the game.

We’ve ran out of steam. No Mark Fish or Nic Anelka. Hitoto suspended. Sellars goes off injured. Taggart sent off. I switch my phone off, just in case the hierarchy want to get in touch.

We have to win the last 2 games AND hope that results go our way. From where we were at the start of the episode it’s better than expected but that Anelka injury has done for us.

It takes big Nic less than a minute to score on his return, but Dwight Yorke had a good day. That’s relegation confirmed.

Our last Premier League game for now. We show what we can do. Too Little Too Late as a certain Canadian Rock Band might say.

If Only we had got ourselves together earlier. If only Nic had come on board earlier. If only Bolton were 18th on the 6th November last year. If only they had chosen a better manager.

If only….

Colin Murdock and Mark Fish were the star performers which potentially shows how bad it could have got without the two Centre Backs having good seasons. Anelka showed what he can do with 12 in 15. Burke got 6 and Saileti 5.

Last year Peter Beardsley got 16 but age has taken control, he’ll retire in the summer. Neither Saileti or Holdsworth have done enough. Burke’s young enough to improve.

As it stands I’m still Bolton manager – they are happy with my performance. I’ll need to recruit well and hit the ground running to get back in the Prem as quickly as possible. There is still time to beat Sir Alex’s record.

ARGHHH!!!!