As we left things last week, I was entering what felt like my late-Mourinho phase – which is not ideal in Season One. The board, cautious perhaps that the gung-ho approach on the pitch will be matched in the boardroom, are denying me the necessary fuel for my visionary plans (ie signing Chris Priest), and if we don’t stiffen up at the back, the fanbase will soon be asking legitimate questions.

For those just joining us, we’re serving up an absolute treat to the good people of Montrose by playing all out attack, all the time, and despite a few bumps along the way, we’re tucked handily into second place with 8 games left.

Dumbarton head to the Links Stadium first up in the run-in:

If we NEED a win, Twissy will score. Ol’ Ma Twiss raised some fella, I tell ya, some fella.

Another crucial match, and Twissy sets us off on the path to victory again.

Next up are Alloa, our rivals for second, and a win would all but seal it.

God bless the loan system and God bless big Mike Rae. A clean sheet sees us set up a commanding lead in the race for second. We’d really have to wobble from here.

Seventh placed Arbroath at home, and a couple of wins in the last five matches would seal promotion now.

Ah. nevertheless, plenty of time to go. Meanwhile we’ll ship out Ross Deadwood.

Another chance to get close to the line as we travel to England and the faded seaside glamour of Berwick Upon Tweed.

Fk. We REALLY need a central midfielder, we’re still without a single one.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. The transfer window is still open with just three crucial matches left, so we’ll have a try for this fella on the basis that he has 20s for Determination, Stamina and Tackling – sadly only 19 for Aggression.

Grimsby are certainly welcome to this lad, who has played twice and scored none for a 6.50 average.

Craiby’s off too. Surely the board will loosen the ol’ noose on wages now? I can almost taste much-needed reinforcements.

Sack the board! They’re seemingly determined to hold Gary Goals back, and ensure that we falter on the route to the promised land of the Scottish third tier.

We need 6 points from 9, and we’re on the ropes on the pitch as well as in the market. Off to Ross County next.

God bless these brave boys. Forrester’s not really justified my club record outlay on him (£5,000) and Wilde’s only in due to an injury, but I owe them both a few pints of Seventy Shilling after this critical win.

I now need one from two, and doubts are creeping in. Is All Out Attack a mug’s game? Am I destined to grind it out in the bottom tier until I get the sack? To switch off from the domestic pressure, I put me feet up and stick the Champions League on. Proper football with proper scorelines.

Juve have had better nights.

Both keepers sent off in the first half – not sure I’ve seen that before – plus the captain hauled off with a 3.

But, more importantly, Sir Alex has reinvigorated me at just the right time – it’s not about the grind or about looking fearfully over your shoulder at Alloa Athletic, it’s all about the fkn goals and hang the rest! Focus on the bangers, the pearlers, the daisy-cutters, the Yeboahs, the three yard scuffs. We’re doing God’s work, and we’re never gonna stop.

Back to business, suitably inspired.

We started this whole mission off by beating Queen’s Park 6-3, so while time’s not quite a flat circle it’s a pretty squashed one.

We’ve done it! A summer of busy recruitment lies ahead, but which of us would not have his head turned by playing in the big time? We’re off to Clyde, we’re off to Brechin, we’re off to Stranraer!!! The fans are in wonderland, and rightly so.

Away to the champions to finish off. A dead rubber, so I’ve told Andrew Duncan to nut someone for a laugh.

Duncan does his duty, and we’re out with a bit of a whimper. Albion have had a decent season and no doubt deserved the title.

Ultimately for Montrose, it’s mission accomplished with no money, no board backing and no defence, so I’m pretty content.

Rangers win the league, but they don’t know what’s coming for them. A seismic event is about to hit in the Montrose area and they ought to be shaking in Glasgow too.

Surprisingly, Graeme’s silky skills are outshone by Captain Mainwaring. Of that squad, there’s only really 4 – Mainwaring, Tomlinson, Teather and Twiss – that I can see as having earned a start for next season.

Twiss and Teather’s ratings are not great at first glance, but as they’re in the cursed roles out on the flanks I’m pretty happy with them.

Mainwaring is also top on goals scored – special hat-tip to Twissy though, banging in 22 from the FL position. Lawrie’s 18 is also very respectable, but with an average rating of just 7.09 I’ll probably be looking for an upgrade there.

Teddy Junior proving his worth on the assist front though – with my MR and ML somehow combining for just six despite starting almost every single game, and Trees slipping through precisely zero deadly through balls after half a season in central midfield. I’m guessing the formation is a major factor behind this.

Looking the future, Mike Rae’s not our player, so I need a keeper. This lad had a series of blinders against us this year and is out of contract, so we’ll give Shakey a whirl.

On paper, this Tunisian lad looks the part.

Something doesn’t feel good about it, he’s another ML and these overseas players with good stats often stink the place out, but hardly anyone wants to join us, so in the bid goes.

Not really familiar with Neilson, but I like the average rating and an MC is number one priority. He’s out of contract and others are in for him – we only pay peanuts, but we’ll chance a bid.

The board have upped their game and are allowing slightly better wages, but they still baulk at meeting the basic demands of a thirty year old fourth-tier goalkeeper on a free transfer.

Our first international signs on the dotted line. For some reason the words ‘refused work permit in 12 months’ are in my dreams as I go to bed that night, but let’s cross fingers.

Have that Hamilton, we’ve sold him the dream! We’ve finally got ourselves an MC.

And a keeper!

Just sack ’em. This guy doesn’t play and is our highest earner (see below), but no, Brechin can’t have him. I suspect his underlying value has briefly spiked due to promotion, but I don’t care, I just want him off the wage bill.

Guichir’s provisionally on the bench for now, as Teather’s one of my main men and the unexpected arrival of Neilson has sorted out the pivot.

Neil Young’s arrival on a free has helped see us move out of the red and into the black, but we don’t attract a crowd just yet, so we’re still looking in the bargain basement. 97-98 sees us close with a final player purchase outlay for £10,000 versus nearly £1m incoming.

Could do worse – I’ll pick CC up to add a bit of steel and experience at the back.

This lad looks quite tasty – he has no club and zero career appearances, wonder what sort of money he’s after.

I see.

End of season awards time, and it’s nice to get this, but I feel a bit for the Albion Rovers boss who coasted to the title. A turd-polisher extraordinaire, he deserved it.

I wonder who got European Footballer of the Year, let’s check.

So obvious in retrospect, Betis’s finest.

Tempting as this guy is, and he’d certainly be handy to have around the networking scene as I believe his dad is a referee, Scottish work permit busybodies won’t allow us to reach terms.

We’ve got one last signing in us this summer. I sit and chat to Mrs G. over a few summer cocktails, and we look back over a season of gung-ho merriment. ‘If six of your front seven are bombing on constantly,’ she reminds me, ‘you’re gonna need an absolute animal clearing things up.’

‘You need snarl, you need bite, you need a borderline psychopath doing the work of three men. You need…..’

Can our record signing help us make more of an impact on Division Two than we did on Division Three?

Join us next week to find out.