Today we bring you the episode you missed before Christmas when the bugs of WordPress had it out for the Half & Half Premier League, hopefully you can see this monstrosity this time round…

Hello and welcome back! I’d have something witty to say, but by god this is a shocking idea that should never have left my head. Last time out, A City United continued to do season one Man Utd’s work as usual. If you missed it, you can catch up here.

Sitting in 7^th, Wednesday United decide to splash some cash to try and move on up. And that money brings in something they don’t really need, a defender.

The next set of results prove they would have been better off buying a striker.

That said, the main result here is a defeat for A City United at title rivals Arseham. Les Ferdinand’s first start resulting in a win, with Klinsmann and Wright suspended.

A real treat for the eyes is that Old Dale FC do not at all look like going down.

And it’s better news for the Crystal Dons on the European front:

Elsewhere, Portshampton sign Wayne Quinn. Yes, that ought to do it. Surely…

…nope.

October is the month for the Arseham Hotguns.

They are absolutely hitting Les. To bolster their ranks they sign…who?

October’s final set of results sees Arseham demolish another team with its attacking array of talent. There will possibly be some bans.

Then shocker under the radar is that Leedsfield have risen to 4^th.

So, the Half and Half Premier League Table stands as such after another month:

A City United, Arseham Hotguns and Fulsea set for another £3m deduction. With a cash injection coming to Norpswich, Portshampton and Lutford that will be squandered on s***e.

And now for the bans:

Robbie Fowler, 5 game ban.

Jurgen Klinsmann, another 3 game ban.

Mark Bosnich, 20-point ability deduction.

See you again in November!