It’s a third of the way through season five and the Clarets are currently second in the Premier League and looking to make it through to the quarter finals of the Champions League.

Our first match is at home to West Brom, despite dominating the first half we go into the break all square.  The Baggies scoring from their only shot of the match.  Dangerous 1.0’s match time has been limited due to Dangerous 2.0, Terry and Pistol Petko, however he makes the most of his opportunity, scoring two second half goals.

Three days later it’s another home game, the scorers are different, but the result is the same, another three points.

We head to Turkey for our next Champions League clash, it’s looks like Ozer Ogun’s MOM performance is going to limit us to a single point until Mully and stand in captain Bobby Quinn both score in the last ten minutes.

From Turkey to Old Trafford, in an even contest against the Red Devils it’s a surprising 1-0 victory to the Clarets, thanks to Pistol’s late strike.

With four wins on the bounce and the positive energy flowing like fine wine, the universe strikes a couple of cruel blows.

The impact of these injuries is felt immediately as we lose away to Middlesbrough.

We look odds on to progress in the Champions League until Portuguese firecracker Domingos scores a 90th minute equaliser at the Moor! The draw means that we have eight points, level with PSV and two ahead of Marseille, with one game to play. 

Thanks to the surprise Champions League win last season we enjoy a free holiday to Japan at the beginning of December as long as we agree to play Atletico Mineiro in the World Club Cup Final.  For a change, it is the opposition getting two players sent off as we cruise to victory, adding another trophy to the cabinet.

Two days after Tokyo we are in Sunderland, contesting the League Cup 4th round.  The effects of the jet lag are evident as World Club Cup final scorer Donal Gray gets sent off and we lose 0-1 thanks to a Bobby Baggio goal.

We bounce back at the Bridge, thanks to goals from Terry, not really very prolific Henry and Dennis Irwin regen Mark Waddock.

With all to play for in our final Champions League group game it appears that the Universe is not quite done fucking with us!  Both our keepers are called up to the U21 squad and Dierickx is away on loan, however even with two available squad places we aren’t given a Grey Keeper from the youth team. Cool Cool.

It seems not having a keeper can be an issue!  Bye Bye Champions League.

To top it all off Mully’s injury is a big one.

Despite the disappointment of losing Mully and exiting the Champions League we manage to get a win at home to Newcastle, however Brazilian wonderkid De Souza tears his groin and now he is out for a few months too!

Despite the growing injury list, we manage to beat Everton and home and Arsenal away either side of Christmas.

Before losing an even game against Sheffield Wednesday just before New Year.

Oh look, another injury, another few months without one of our better players!

The first game of 2002 is our FA Cup 3rd round tie against West Ham, two goals in two minutes from Dangerous 2.0 and Waddock are enough to help us win a Claret Clash.

Our next game is against Real Madrid in the European Super Cup, despite our growing injury list we put on a masterclass of attacking football, dominating one of the best teams in Europe.

Of course we can still only manage a draw, FFS!

Back in the league against Forest, we manage to do what we couldn’t against Madrid, score more than one goal!

I decide I need to splash some cash, unfortunately my transfer targets are not interested!

We are back at the Stadium of Light and our inability to strengthen the squad coupled with the injuries mean it is another disappointing outing in the northeast.

Back at Turf Moor we play a lot better against Bolton.

Being unable to capitalise on our chances against Madrid in the home leg was always likely to spell trouble, and so in a surprisingly even game we come away empty handed.

After being unable to lure my first choice attacking prospects I panic buy Micky the Goose.  He’s been prolific in Holland and we have too many Bene and Hots up top, so hopefully he can hit the ground running.

The Goose fails to make an impact off the bench in his debut, and we lose to Wiki rivals Leeds.

The final match of this update is away to Coventry.  It’s a humdinger of a game, unfortunately we end up on the wrong side of a 3-4, having recovered from 0-1 and 1-2 down to lead 3-2 with 14 minutes to play.

We end this episode where we began, in second place in the Premier League, however we have managed to win one trophy, lose a final and get knocked out of both the League Cup and Champions League.

Join us next week for the final third of season five, we are still in the hunt for a League and FA Cup double.