Bonjola! Welcome back to Gijon, where Real Madrid have awoken and once again we have our work cut out to retain our La Liga crown. In this episode we’ll also have our first attempts at winning the World Club Cup and the European Super Cup, and if that doesn’t get your pulse racing then we’ll continue our mission to get the B Team into Europe and complete world domination.

First order of business is the Copa. To remind you all, I don’t necessarily need to win this, I want the B Team to win it, but I feel as long as I’m in it I can perhaps help with that further down the track. Sevilla have two away goals to take into the return leg, which may prove costly.

Bottom club Las Palmas are blown away. Cartaxo is a great surname, make your own vehicle expense jokes.

Our navigation of the Champions League continuous to be imperious. Ajax are battered and our path to the last 8 is almost secure.

This result really upsets the board. I’ll explain why in a minute but to throw it away late on is annoying but symptomatic of our season to date.

It is their FIFTH point of the season. Give me strength.

The Bees complete another upset, Ortega sees off Zaragoza.

Naturally we see off Sevilla. The happiest of times in Gijon.

We avoid each other in the last 8, it’s not a bad draw at all really.

We pile on the misery for Zaragoza. Huegun scores against us for probably the 14th consecutive occasion but a stirring second half keeps our title challenge alive.

Easy does it against Tblisi. That’s us through.

Perfect record.

Bottom club Bilbao follow in the footsteps of bank of Santander and take the lead but this time we fight back in style and score twice in the same minute. Unlikely? Yes. Impossible? Obviously not.

We’ve had to play two elevens with the unlikely scenario of playing in Spain on Saturday and then flying to Japan and playing 48 hours later – and that’s before you consider jet lag etc – but anyway, we’re the World Champions. Well done us.

Can you blame tiredness for this? The only surprise is that Levante didn’t score with their one shot.

Dortmund batter a much changed team. We have nothing to play for and everybody is kind of tired.

It makes no difference at all.

Espanyol are a really awkward opponent over two legs. There are some wild teams in the other 6 spots.

Betis are dispatched as we head for a small Christmas break.

We obviously had too much of a good time during Santa time. Valeron scores twice and we have nothing, and in fact 10 men for much of the second half. Not the best result and all to do in the 2nd leg.

The Bees have given themselves every chance with this win.

We face Real Madrid two days later and we really have to win if we’re going to chase them down. Thankfully, the lads perform and it’s a 3-0 win.

European Super Cup gives us our third competition in 6 days to start 2004. A credible away draw should set us up for the return leg.

Disaster is avoided against a spirited Oviedo side.

The comeback is complete inside 29 minutes against Sociedad. 2-0 is wiped out, overturned and left for dust as the visitors finish with 10. Phew.

The Bees join us in the last 4.

Well, Valencia knocked them out last year so hopefully history doesn’t repeat itself. Given the choice, I’d rather have taken the Valencia bullet but whatever.

We edge past Compostela to keep us on track.

Espanyol keep us on a tight leash for 45 minutes but we come out for the second half on fire and two quick goals put us in charge. Lucic concedes a pen out of nothing and the deficit is halved, but his indirect replacement heads in our third and that’s the points.

We can add the European Super Cup to the trophy room with a clinical display against PSG.

Away at Logrones, Martin completes a satisfactory week with the opener on our way to a 2-0 win.

All of that, and well done if you’ve stuck with it, means we are 4 points behind Real Madrid and still needing some big results if we’re going to win the league. There’s 17 games to go though, so it’s more than possible.

The Bees have basically won the Segunda already, but that’s worth nothing to anybody. They are of course in the last 4 of the Copa, which is where success is measured.

So despite being World Champions, European Super Champions, La Liga winners, Champions League winners and in the last 8 of this season, the board are merely pleased with my efforts.

Perhaps more worryingly, between us (£5m) and the B Team (£1.2m) we have just over £6m in the bank. The wage bill absolutely annihilates that, when you think Ortega and Juninho earn £100k a week between them and the Bees have a 4,000 capacity stadium to bring in revenue, it’s a race against time before this whole operation goes a bit Risdaley.

To finish with, the question was asked of what Real Madrid look like in 2004. I swear Nuno Gomes is contractually obliged to sign for these on every save.

Here’s Barcelona just because it amuses me that on the deadline day (just passed) they sold their sub keeper but dropped £11.5m on Boa Morte from Real Madrid, leaving them with Barthez and Gloria Estefan in goal and a negative bank balance. Never change.

Oh and here’s the B team. I’ve just signed Dyer for £2.5m before the above accounting breakdown.

So that hopefully gives you all the ammo you need to be back here next Sunday for the finale to season 7. All eyes will be on the Bees against Valencia, hopefully they can get to the final and we will stand aside and let them take the glory. My board will probably sack me immediately given their apparent dislike of success but that’s future Dave’s problem. See you next week!