Hello and welcome back to another journey into the low-stat world of Germany where I’m heading into the end of season 2 with my Cologne team. Here we are in the league, 6th…

Let’s get going with a trip to Dortmund who are 4 pts ahead of us. Make that 7 pts

I don’t like Moller – ever since he did this

At least we can put things right against Karlsruhe in the John Candy Trophy. Semi-finals here we come!

This is the best draw I could hope for

However, they are storming the second division, so it might not be the walkover I’m anticipating

Bielefeld up next and their representation of both man and woman keep us level at half time…

Until Darth Maul’s uncle Ronald sees red and we grab the win

Ok, when you have two players sent off in the first two minutes, it’s ok to expect the worst, but not with these guys. If you can’t beat 9 men then you are rubbish. Or Man Utd.

Captain Karsten inspirational there

It does come at a cost though, Albustin out for the rest of the season I reckon…

The Hoff turns villain against Stuttgart and our form continues to amaze and beweilder in equal measure.

Leverkusen next and my Polish replacement for Toni Polster looks to be a valuable signing

Wolfsburg think they can wheedle their way back into this game but they didn’t bank on The Hoff

Four games to go, four points off top spot. We couldn’t, could we?

Meanwhile, it’s Pokal semi time and that man The Hoff leaves it very, very late to send us into the final, happy days!

Oh piss

Piss

Oh pissing hell. We won’t be winning any leagues soon.

Felgie utilises almost ‘Felgie Time’ to give us a valuable three points

If we hadn’t have drawn those two games then we would have been in with a fighting chance, but alas, 4th is the best we can hope for I guess

All academic, because we can’t even beat 12th placed Mainz.

5th – not much progress from last year, but we are in a cup final. Definitely need to improve the defence over the summer.

DFB Pokal final time and here’s what I have to try and defeat.

Ughh, Moller. again. At least we’ll be in the cup winners cup next season by virtue of Dortmund winning the league, every cloud and all that…

So, 5th and cup runners up. Not too bad but not great – need to see some decent improvement next season. Stats time, Anelka and Bierhoff doing all the heavy lifting

Young son of Kevin wins young player of the year…

…after playing a sum total of 3 games. Go figure….

Well, at least I have £15million in the bank to strengthen the defence….for God’s sake….

Well, that’s just the cherry on the icing on the cake….Season 3 better be an improvement. Signings needed….if they’ll come….see you next week.