Hello blog readers, it’s Tuesday and as I contemplate my impending 45th birthday, lets swing back to the year 2000, where we’re entering season 4 with Cologne.

I start pre-season with an Austrian signing to Purk up my attacking options, to add to my close season capture of Oliver Kahn on a free transfer to try and stabilise my defence.

Marcus makes an immediate impact, but Oliver lets in 3 goals in a close encounter where Winston Zedemore, Kurt Khodname and Lebecca Roos all score against us.

Rico is the wrong side of 30 so he’s off to Bochum

Maybe I should have kept him….I may never win this silly cup.

Talking of silly, is this a good idea? The money will be handy, but ultimately it may mean I can buy a decent French defensive replacement. We’ve already conceded 6 goals in 2 games.

We learn our Champions league qualifier fate and it’s not too bad

I couldn’t find any decent French defensive players willing to join me so I opt instead for Papin’s regen to use my one French player quota.

I also opt for some Polish steel in my midfield

We make hard work of Slovan. Those two away goals do worry me.

It’s a quiet start to the league campaign with two score draws

Danny departs – he turned out to be a bit crap, so it’ll allow me to look for a better Dutch player – hopefully.

Pokal cup action now and Ulrik knocks two in to see us through

Professional in Bratislava, which is all we wait at this stage

Well, I don’t think the draw could have been any worse. Shearer is still at Newcastle as well

This dude may not be very strong, but I’m hoping he can tighten us up at the back a little

Nope. He can’t. This is a disaster.

It may have to get worse before it gets better?

Much worse it seems

I decide things need to change. I reluctantly dispense with the tried and trusted 2-3-1-2-2 direct and opt for a 4-4-2 diamond formation. I’m not saying it helped but it earns us a very creditable draw with Real Madrid

And then dispatches Union Berlin in the cup. Bierhoff filling his boots in this one and a first clean sheet for Oliver Kahn.

Jena next up and we’re definitely looking more compact at the back now

Three Purky ones here. Another league game and another win to pull us away from the relegation zone.

A trip to Tyneside is an entertaining but ultimately goalless affair. Tighter at the back seems to mean the trade off is blunter up top.

Hopefully Kahn is putting his early season wobbles behind him

Time for some young signings, one being Lothar Matthaus reborn I think….?

An someone with a very un-Germanic name

Another clean sheet and another goal for Marcus means I’m not worrying too much about the sale of Anelka now.

Hans Zimmermann can’t orchestrate a comeback in Berlin. Things are looking up.

Dortmund are still packed with talent, even if most of them are approaching their mid-30’s

I can’t see us still being in Europe after Christmas

Cup action at Bremen now and we’re grateful to Oliver Kahn saving a penalty to take us through to the quarterfinals

Where the champions league draw was unkind, the Pokal is perhaps less strenuous. Or maybe just a massive banana skin? We’ll find out in March.

Back to league action and the change in formation seems to be suiting these guys at the moment

Chapstick is quick off the mark, but we have a lot more about us these days

So much so that we almost come away from the Bernabeu with a famous vistory, if not for a last gasp Raul equaliser.

A win would have given us a chance but I think we’re just playing for prize money now

Bahr Hamburg! As Scrooge may once have mispronounced. Another game and another win

It’s a bit tighter against the boys from the Dorf, but Balling leaves the bench to snatch the winner, what a guy.

Lets wrap it up there for this week. Our European qualifiers means we’re a few games behind the rest. We’re 9 points off the top spot with two games in hand. No guarantee we’ll catch Dortmund up but I feel more confident than in past seasons.

And it seems I was right to not worry too much about letting Anelka go…