Bonjour! If you’ve followed this adventure for all eight seasons so far, I salute you! I’m sure you’re just as frustrated as me that we still haven’t won anything, but we’re fresh off the back of a third-place finish, so let’s see if we can go at least one better this season. Let the summer recruitment commence…

We have no money, but 26 players from my list retired over the summer, so hopefully there’s some gems in amongst their regens…

Leighton is in his last season, so I need a new backup keeper. Step forwards, Iker Sukia II. Hopefully his regen hasn’t inherited his ability to complain…

This is Luis Perez, a Bilbao pupil of mine from the original Basque Boys, so I’m intrigued to see if he’ll be as good this time…

While we’re on the subject of former Bilbao boys, meet Bittor Alkiza Jr…

This is Ander Garitano, who starts the game at Zaragoza and normally gets snapped up by a big club, so let’s hope that bodes well…

And lastly it’s former Celta Vigo man, Oscar Vales…

It’s Strasbourg in the League Cup for the second season running. Let’s hope they let us stroll through as easily as last season…

Here’s a look at the squad. Almost all of them are either in their teens or early twenties, so I’m hopeful our time will come soon…

I’m reverting back to 2-3-1-2-2 this season, to see if we’ve enough fire power to counteract the defensive fragility this formation possesses. Let’s f*cking go…

The early signs are good, as we overcome a potential banana skin at Montpellier. Diaz is banned but Tomas takes advantage of his start, with a brace and man of the match award…

Monaco are back to being something like it, and despite being the better side by a mile, we can’t find a way past 34 year-old Barthez, and are lucky they have a goal disallowed…

Seriously?! Of all the teams…

Our record against Nantes hasn’t been the best of late (mainly because of Dida), so a nice solid away win is just the ticket…

Calle makes it six goals in four games with a hat trick against Bastia, and a late goal from Bolton legend Pierre-Yves Andre isn’t enough to launch a comeback…

I’m hoping that our good early form coupled with the fact that it’s a European tie with Marseille might give us a chance, but I should have known better…

PSG and Bordeaux are next, I think you know what’s coming…

Yep, you definitely know what’s coming…

Back in Europe, we manage to take Marseille to extra time before Calle sets up a nervy last 26 minutes knowing a goal for them means curtains, but we hold on for a famous win…

Our European adventure was almost over without us even having to leave the country, but we’ve earned ourselves a trip to Holland…

You know what I was saying about Strasbourg letting us stroll through in the cup? Well Nandi kills any hopes of that happening. I swear we’re fated to never win anything…

Back to league action, and after having two goals disallowed, it’s looking like dropped points at Le Havre, but late strikes from Babs and Calle earn us our first win in six games…

Auxerre are relegation fodder at the minute, which obviously means they’ll put in a performance against us. One minute, one more f*cking minute!!!

Back in Europe, I don’t really know what to expect from Twente, but a grey keeper is a good start, and four away goals will take some overturning in the second leg…

I only have 18 players available at the minute, and It’s looking like a cobbled-together side have let a 1-0 lead slip at Nimes, but a rejuvenated Diaz spares our blushes…

Those of you who have been reading from the start will remember how much I loathed Nice in the second division, and I’m still not too fond of them all these years later…

The second leg with Twente is almost a carbon copy of the first, with the same goal scorers for both teams, and only an own goal from them missing as we sail through…

We conquered Valencia last season, so let’s hope history repeats itself…

As if the draw with Nice wasn’t bad enough, we then get super-keepered by Betterton and lose to Guingamp…

De Paula returns from a lengthy layoff against Chateauroux, and proves to be our lucky charm as we come from behind to win…

It’s all going great against Valencia until our keeper gets sent off to gift them a penalty and away goal when they hadn’t had a shot on goal all match. Calle’s goal helps, but I’m fuming…

After beating Marseille in Europe, it’s only naturally we bend over for them in the league…

If anyone Cannes, Diaz Cannes…

Our keeper is banned for the second leg with Valencia. Leighton hasn’t played in over a year, so I couldn’t expect too much, but going 2-0 down early all but kills us. Diaz gives us hope, but we’re edged out on penalties…

Lille by Lille, we’re gradually getting back on track in the league, and a Badi brace takes us into the winter break on a high…

This is somewhat pleasing to see, but the answer is no…

Oh goodie…

Our first game of the new year is on Friday the 13th, but there’s not a bit of bad luck in sight as we hammer Caen in their own back yard…

Last up are Gueugnon, who lose their keeper. Their sub had played twice before this, with an average rating of 5.5, but the pr*ck somehow pulls a worldie out of his ass…

We’re nine points off the pace, but should be much closer. Losses to PSG, Bordeaux, and Marseille are always expected, and a goalless draw with Monaco isn’t terrible, but the other draws and losses have really p*ssed me off. Maybe it’s my fault for going 2-3-1-2-2…

Join me again next week, where bar the cup game with PSG, who have had a massive fall from grace since appointing Dider Deschamps as manager, it’ll be nothing but league action, but we can’t afford to drop many points if we’re to get near the top two. Au Revoir!