Hello! Welcome back, I’ve missed you. I took a small break to do life for a few weeks, as you read this we are about to enter week six of six for the school holidays. We all tread that fine line between “I love spending time with my kids” and “will you do as you’re told/NOT ON THERE/no you can’t eat that” but that’s parenting. Back in the computerised world of 1997/98, we are about to enter the summer of 2000. My three Eagles are all having differing times. Palace are in the upper echelons of European football, Go Ahead Eagles are punching above their weight and progressing whilst Nice…well I just with the summer holidays were over for them. We go again. Let’s start season 4.

Tam Tam Bigelow will always be a legend for his contribution to Go Ahead Eagles’ story so far but his refusal to sign a new deal eventually saw him leave for nothing. I’ve decided to keep him in the BEEFCO house and take him to Nice, where no doubt he will fail.

Speaking of which, the Micker has finally lowered himself to agree to go to Holland after his contract expired at Nice. He will be a backup, I hope, if I can replace Tammer at some point.

Ledezma’s goals were insane. A deserved winner of the journo’s award.

This is a blow. Dr Leonard has retired, he’s one of my starting centre backs.

Rest in peace, Dalian.

That’s more than the combined value of the squad. We’ll use it wisely.

To replace Tam Tam we’ve got the Mark Hughes regen, which is a lovely signing.

To replace Dr Leonard we’ve called in a BeefCo favour and borrowed Master Splinter for the season. That seems sensible.

“They’ve” also lent us Clinton Morrison, which should at least keep him off the telly.

This is not the nicest playoff draw.

Some more wheeling and dealing later, Go Ahead are ready for their first Pints Cup game. Golsteyn is Gullit re-gen, which is a great pick up. Wilmot is Mark Hughes as mentioned, Nicky Barmby is either mint or dreadful. Clinton Morrison has joined Splinter in toeing the BEEFCO line of helping us out. All in all, as usual it’s quite an eclectic mix that ranges from quite strong in some positions to absolutely hopeless in others.

Tougher tests ahead no doubt but the Micker still has it!

Palace have that Porto qualifier and boast a 32 man squad. I’ve managed to loan out a lot of the young fringe players which is good, sadly only Brown has gone to Nice and we’ve already spoke about Splinter and Morrison taking the Beef coin. Oh and I signed Phil Mulryne for £275k for the fun of it.

I have been trying to replace Emmers since season two but why bother, he’s still performing.

As usual NOBODY wants to come to Nice. It’s ridiculous, really. Young Brown has a lot to do in the centre of midfield but it’s defence where I’m really struggling to fill gaps. Chrismousse has had a few loans and performed well, I hope he can step up. Tammer has arrived for nothing but I have my doubts he will fit in to Ligue 1 life. The Icelandic regen has been appalling, and I’ve never seen that happen.

An underwhelming start.

But this is much more promising! An away win to get us up and running properly.

Meanwhile Palace get their domestic season underway with an edgy win at Derby, despite being a man down for half the match.

Everton beat Man Utd 3-0 on the opening day and repeat the trick against us. They are managed by Gerry Francis, but come on.

Maybe they’ll win the lot.

Then again, so might Go Ahead. That’s a great start to the league season.

As expected we are given a tough game in Portugal but just as extra time looms, Bakayoko does what he does and spares us the extra half hour. Phew.

It’s not a terrible draw either. Much easier than last year, I think.

Nice are showing some nuts for the first time in a while. I mean yes, we nearly blow a 3-0 lead here but a win is a win. Zamorano has been recalled and he rewards my loyalty with a double.

Eddie the Pope is in for a mere £100k. He’s a defender or a midfielder, so perfect versatility for the odd squad.

This is interesting. Like all Nice centre halves, he’s been quite average at best. A flurry of offers follow and he has a big club release clause, so seems like that’ll be that.

Confirmation that the GAE are king of the Pints group stages.

Steve Staunton in exchange should hopefully bring some experience and set piece ability. The bar here is extremely low.

Unfortunately his debut sees Mayor Wimbee forget how to use his hands. Frustrating!

Back in blighty, Palace win a ding dong tussle at Elland Road. I think we’re still a threat but it’s a weird league.

Not as weird as Holland, where we might finally be clicking. Mainwaring is enjoying himself, young Wilmot is fitting in nicely and even Nicky Barmby scored.

The Champions League campaign gets underway for Palace and it’s looking rather good for 55 minutes then it gets bleak quickly and we end up chucking two points away. An easy group, I said.

In that group is Metz, the Champions of France. Here they are being battered by Nice, on one of their good days.

We finish today’s update with a good story. We get thoroughly outplayed by Sparta but Mainwaring steals a point. Why is that a good story?

Top of the pile! Yes, it’s 3 games. But we’re doing it.

With this squad. Mainwaring wants to move to a bigger club, I hope he classes Nice as a bigger club. It’s a mad set of players but I love them.

This squad is a mess. A real talent factory. So many good, young players who will only improve. Edworthy is just back from injury so old Lombardo might get his rest soon.

We’re doing ok, just not as good defensively as we have been previously.

Meanwhile in France we have our usual glut of injuries. Still, this side beat Metz. Mighty Metz. Hopefully Steve Staunton has sorted our defensive problems, but I doubt it.

6th after 6. Much tougher tests to come but we just beat the champions so…hello Europe? Probably not.

I would count this as one of our more successful updates. Nobody is having a total nightmare, all three teams are in the top 6 of their respective divisions which would be a lot more of an achievement if the calendar didn’t say September.

We’ll see you next week for more from Season 4, where we will presumably come crashing down to earth in at least two of the countries. You won’t want to miss that, will you?