Won’t it be strange not to play Michael Owen?

Ruining Pulp lyrics aside, welcome to Holland (but not Belgium) for Euro 2000. Firstly, a reminder of the groups:

The World Cup holders, Portugal, are missing after a terrible qualifying campaign which saw Yugoslavia prevail, and they join England in Group A. All of the home nations have qualified except Northern Ireland, so that’s something to be proud of. Anyway, England, still managed by Glenn Hoddle, have picked a decent squad including Real Madrid’s Steve Haslam and a 33 year old Gazza

Blow by blow then, here is how it all unfolded

Group A

The first game of the tournament sees hosts Holland and England play out a 1-1 draw. Shearer puts England ahead but Jordi Cruyff equalises. Yugoslavia edge past Sweden 1-0 and it’s already looking like a tight group. There’s more white hot action as England and Yugoslavia play out a 0-0 draw, Hoddle enjoying a tactical tinker during the first half and actually playing Michael Owen, but to no avail.

Holland and Sweden labour to a 1-1 draw meaning England need to beat Sweden to go through. Hosts Holland need to beat Yugoslavia to avoid being massive disappointments themselves. Fortunately for England, a 2-0 win over Sweden (Beckham and Shearer) sends Hoddle’s men through, but Holland are not so lucky and get hammered 3-0 by the Yugoslavs, meaning the hosts are going home. Or staying home, whatever.

Group B

The Germans are heavy favourites to win this group and achieve this in their usual style, winning all three games without conceding. It’s a battle for 2nd, which Scotland take pole position in by winning the all home nations battle with Wales

Unfortunately for Scotland, the Czech Republic turn them over 2-0 before going on to beat Wales, meaning they take the second spot behind Germany. Wales lose all three games and take the wooden spoon.

Group C

World Cup runners up Denmark are big favourites in this group, though Spain are coming into their own a bit with a host of star names. Spain draw first blood beating Denmark 1-0, whilst Switzerland edge past Slovenia. The Slovenians get a creditable draw with the Danes, whilst Spain can only draw 0-0 with Switzerland. This leaves Denmark vs Switzerland as the key clash, which the Danes win emphatically

Spain thrash Slovenia 5-0 to top the group, and the Danes join them in the quarters.

Group D

You’d expect France and Italy to qualify here and Italy lay down an early marker by thrashing the French 3-0. Ireland lose to Croatia which basically puts the writing on the wall for them, though they do claim a creditable 0-0 draw with Italy. France can only draw with Croatia though, meaning they need a handsome win against Ireland to qualify, and for there to be a winner in Italy vs Croatia. Predictably, Croatia and Italy draw 0-0 meaning Zidane’s late winner against Ireland is in vain. France are out

Here’s the final tables:

Quarter Finals

There’s a big World Cup re-match as England draw Germany, whilst the Czech Republic have a great chance to go as far as they did at Euro 96.

It’s not to be for England though, as Germany win 1-0

Hoddle seemed to approach the match with very little ambition

Anyway, the Czech’s beat Yugoslavia 3-1, Denmark beat Italy 1-0 and Spain ease past Croatia 2-0

Semi Finals

It’s a re-match of the 96 final, only this time Czech Republic win!

In the other Semi final, everybody’s favourite under dogs are at it again, as Denmark reach another major final, after an extra time win.

Final

It’s the final nobody expected but both sides have wrongs to right – the Czech’s were runners up at Euro 06 and Denmark suffered the same fate at World Cup 98. Who will come out on top?

The Czech’s have done it! Who would have thought it?

We’re all off to Italy for 2004!

All that’s left to do is sign off the season with some awards:

I’dl ike to point out that I brought Steve Simonsen to Wimbledon. Also, Marashliev? I don’t know who he is. He looks canny though!

See you for season 4

The third season has come to a close and it’s fair to say my first season in France has been a steep learning curve, but it’s also let the Premier League run wild in my absence. So in time honoured tradition, here is how the final months of 99/00 turned out.

Premier League

In a ridiculous turn of events, Aston Villa have won the Premier League. Villa become the 4th club to do so, following Man Utd, Blackburn & Liverpool. Brian Little is a Premier League winner. To be fair, they’ve won it at a canter and they’ve outscored everybody, well done.

Big fall from Liverpool in their attempt to retain their title, whilst last season’s third placed Blackburn had an awful season, finishing 15th.

Barnsley finally get relegated whilst Birmingham are relegated on the final day of the season, earning Gerry Francis the sack. The old Dons limp to 13th, having now lost Rio and Sean Devine for very little money.

The League Cup

Kenny Dalglish delivers Newcastle’s first domestic trophy in 45 years, finally ending Liverpool’s dominance of the competition

With Newcastle also finishing 4th it’s a very good season for Dalglish.

The FA Cup

A pretty low key Cup final but Leeds come out on top and get the Cup Winners Cup spot. You’ll also notice Jamie Redknapp is the latest in turncoat club as he turns out for Everton.

Ligue 1

Auxerre battle to 6th which I am delighted with, all things considered. 6th in the league, UEFA Cup quarters and French Cup semi finals – it could have been a lot worse

PSG and Monaco are an absolute force, and without Champions League Money I don’t see a way to break that stranglehold. To give you an indication, here’s what a season of toil earned Auxerre

I got 20 times that for finishing in the top half with Wimbledon! This country…

Champions League

I posted Barcelona’s squad previously and to say it is heavy loaded on the forwards front would be an understatement. Anyway, they just about beat PSG to retain the Champions League. They also win La Liga, so it’s a good time to be Louis van Gaal

So that’s it for another domestic season. My form with Auxerre after sorting out a formation is encouraging and I might stay for another season unless a good Premier League job appears. It is now time for Euro 2000 though, and as with World Cup 98, I’ll give it the respect it deserves and a full post to itself. Here’s the groups to get you in the mood

Yes – World Cup holders Portugal failed to qualify…

In the previous post, things were reaching an all time low with Auxerre, in the relegation zone after 10 games and a furious board. The UEFA Cup could prove to be my saving grace though, as we stun Brian Little’s Aston Villa

I tried to sign Degn for Wimbledon after the World Cup but I’m grateful to have use of him now. The problem at Auxerre is that they have no money, and lose around £400k per month. The results had been poor and I was getting this sort of report:

Fortunately, results have picked up after Villa and this lovely graph summarises the turn around:

Anyway, back on home soil the usual suspects are at the top of the scorers charts – and Danny Cadamarteri.

I miss the Premier League and will inevitably try and go back there after the Auxerre experiment is over. Although, do I really want to go back to a league where Brian Little is on the verge of being the champion?

Liverpool have fallen away after Roy Evans’ gold rush the previous season, and Keegan’s Blackburn are down in 14th. Hopefully there are some job openings ahead, I’m feeling homesick.

The FA Cup is reaching the important stages, though holders Liverpool are already out

Everton’s resurgence having been relegated in season 1 is remarkable, but a big ask against Arsenal. Interestingly, Arsenal are £5m in debt and are having a fire sale, Vieira was on the verge of joining Tottenham, which would have been another for the hall of shame, but he rejected.

Heskey’s on the move again…

The Champions League semis see the same four teams as last year, I know first hand how annoyingly good PSG & Monaco are.

Barcelona however seem to have taken their dominance to a whole new level, though they only bother with 5 defenders in the whole squad and an abundance of forwards.

We’re reaching the end of season 3 and although the ship is steadied at Auxerre, the Premier League is more interesting. Also Robbie Fowler is out of contract and he’s bound to end up at Man Utd, and I can’t miss that. Let’s see how it shakes out

Until then though, thanks for reading

Yep, I decided to walk out on Wimbledon and take over at Auxerre in France. With the offer of UEFA Cup football and generally a bigger club, it’s a good opportunity to enhance my reputation. The Wimbledon squad were growing tetchy, good players like Devine and Page are being courted by bigger clubs and they want away, afterall even Chris Casper got snapped up. Wimbledon decide John Toshack is the only man who can replace me and I cannot argue with that

My first signing at Auxerre it bring Robert Page with me, and he’s soon followed by Brazil keeper Dida and an ageing but still worth it David Ginola. If you think that’s crazy though, the transfer market goes nuts, and it’s seemingly turncoat season:

There is no loyalty in footbal. Meanwhile, Sol Campbell joins Man Utd but that isn’t such a big deal really as he hasn’t played for Arsenal yet. Then these two transfers happen and I begin to question if something is broken

Steve Haslam!?

Anyway, please, game, give me something normal

That’s better.

Anyway, things are going atrociously in France. I have tons of strikers but none of them can score, which is useful. We’re leaky in defence too, and my best player is Liverpool legend Bernard Diomede. Par Zetteberg is decent too but he picks up a 3 month injury and I’m beginning to long for Selhurst Park. The Premier League, however, is still insane as Brian Little’s Aston Villa have a commanding lead

Barnsley prop up the table, I’m amazed they have survived two seasons in truth.

The only positive for Auxerre is that two rounds of the UEFA Cup have been negotiated, against Aberdeen and Schalke, though I’ve been drawn against mighty Brian’s Aston Villa so that’s another dream over. I won’t bore you with the details of the French League but it’s a constant struggle and I’ll probably be sacked before long. Here’s the squad:

Somehow, this is more of a challenge than Wimbledon.