Greetings to you and welcome back to Cowdenbeath. It’s time for another season of Cowdenfun as we look to close a 30 point gap/chasm to the Old Firm. It’s ludicrous really, the talent and money at their disposal versus whatever it is that we have. Mick Quinn? Still, we outscored them all so if we can just defend even a smidge better, we’ll be laughing our way to a 20 point deficit. Let’s pre-season.

Ah yes we’re in the CWC this time. Our seeding makes me wonder just how good this cup will be.

Our finances are ruined so I am not too upset to let young Bryce go for £450k.

Gislason departs for nearly a million. He didn’t join that long ago but it’s a quick profit and his big club release clause was gleaming.

The season starts with a defeat to Rangers. Nick to know where we stand.

Nobby! He was so good for my Barnsley side but was released following Aberdeen’s disastrous season. I can rotate him with Stimac due to the whole three non-EU thing.

That’s more like it. Airdrie are smashed as Dale turns up for one of the rare occasions.

The good form carries over into the league as Dundee Utd are eventually seen off.

It’s come to my attention that we probably need a new goalkeeper. This is the best I can do, the PES equivalent of our esteemed writer Ross Bell.

Another cup tie against our old rivals from season 1. They’re beaten inside 15 minutes which makes Nicholls’ injury time red card all the more annoying.

I hear Finland is lovely in September.

Oh I wonder who it could be.

We’ve got Celtic in the league next and the squad they have assembled sickens me. Even the ones I don’t know. Why do they have a grey player and why is he the most valuable player in the squad?

They leave out the grey wonder but take a look at this…we’ve won at Celtic Park! Stop the clocks it might be our year.

Three days later we play rubbish at Raith Rovers but Dale turns up again and snatches a win. This is new.

What the bloody hell has gone on here? I’ll tell you what. Owen is out of contract, but he’s young enough to demand a tribunal fee. After 3 months of not signing a contract, Man Utd received a bid from Celtic which was for his market value. Fergie got so sick of Owen not signing a contract he released him on a free. That’ll teach him. £3.4m is somewhere in the sea.

The always annoying Hearts are eventually seen off despite us being down to 10. These lads have the bit between their teeth.

Off we go to Finland where a poor evening in front of goal sees us edge a 2-1 win.

Celtic saw off Clyde, you’ll be shocked to know. Organisers are keen for another Celtic/Rangers tangle.

We go behind twice at Motherwell but for some reason Nick Barmby is good now and loanee Jeffers does his first useful thing for us in about 6 loan spells.

Sadly despite a great start Celtic end up beating us with 10 men. There will be no Coca-Cola Cup for Cowdenbeath.

That defeat seems to knock the stuffing out of us as we head to Partick Thistle. We’re below our best and with Thistle having the two Bulgarians up front they cause us problems all day and eventually score. A rare league loss.

The return leg against The Tamperer featuring Maya is made all the easier when they sub their keeper and the sub keeper gets sent off. Maybe it’s a little embarrassing to only get 6 in those circumstances but whatever. We’re through.

I feel like that could be worse.

There’s just time left for us to edge past Airdrie. Weah Junior digs us out of so many holes, it has to be said.

A great time to have a break then as for the first time, we’re the meat in an Old Firm sandwich. 4 points to play with to break the stranglehold.

Here’s the average ratings thus far. The 8s are just from that second leg in Europe so nothing too exciting. I wish I could play more than 3 non-EU players, all my best players are basically from far away shores.

The Micker is unhappy but he’s a fat old man so he will not be displacing Weah Junior or Rush Junior any time soon. These though are all problems for next week. Take care of yourselves and I’ll see you next Sunday for more Cowdenfun.