Happy Saturday to you all – we’re deep into Season 8 of our South American revolution on Tyneside and after last seasons near miss with relegation, things have started more brightly thanks to the regen of Gilmar – thanks to my scout @hsoper404 for confirming!

Lets start with a top of the table clash, shall we? Leeds are top, and we’re six points back in third place.

I thought we had this one nicked when Esnaider scored with 10 minutes left, but you never reckon on a goal machine from Luxembourg do you? Bourger indeed. At the end of the day though, a point against the league leaders is fair goings for us.

Proving good looking Michael Owen’s point that goals win you games, we score five against Notts County with no reply. Esnaider is having a renaissance this season, whilst Jardel is having a re-no-ssance. John Paul Jones, Jean Paul Saitre, Pope John Paul II, John Paul Fridge – illustrious company.

I don’t think I’ve ever signed Gilmar in any save before, but this regen version of him is ripping it up this season.

He’s a feisty one though – we’ll need to find goals from elsewhere for three games soon.

Maybe we can just rely on our attacking midfielders for goals in his absence? We’ll skip past the 90th minute, we’re doing well at the back these days though.

Lardel is up and running, well scoring from 12 yards at least. Cowa-dunga leading and heading from the back to see off ten man Rovers.

We had to concede at some point, and it’s to TV funny man, Peter Serafinowicz. We may have made more of the game but Dunga went from Hero to Zero with a stupid red card.

This is heartbreaking. We let Caludio Lopez leave in pre-season and now rejuvenated Esnaider is crocked for 4 months. A cracked skull in training? Rumours that Jardel sat on his head are quickly dismissed.

Man Utd under John Toshack aren’t what they once were, but they still have Clarence Seedorf and we can’t overcome them, despite Julio’s first goal in forever from the spot. I’ve put Mendez (Ruben Sosa Jnr) upfront and he has two goals disallowed – is Howard Webb the ref?

Mendez is on it like a Shakespearean Sonnet against Everton and even the curse of the former player scoring against you can’t stop our ten man machine

Gerson makes up for his red card silliness in the league to send us through to the 4th round against Pompey. Mendez scoring again is a pleasing sight.

Mendez is at it again, seeing off Babb, Fish and Cunti. We’re looking more and more regen everyday.

Flavor Flavio is taking his boots and big clock (I said clock) sarf to QPR. He’ll no doubt score against us soon enough.

It’s a good showing against Bradford – last season we’d be on the reverse of results like these, but I think being out of europe has made the Latino lads desperate for some sunnier climes on future european adventures.

Lets not get ahead of ourselves though, we’re only half way there, living off a pear.

I decide to use the Flavio Flav money on a recogniseable name with some experience

Andrew Mainwaring does us again, but we settle for a point with Goycoechea inspired in nets.

Geordio gets a rare run out and takes his chances against Sheff Utd in the FA Cup. Peter Serafinowicz can only reply once, which as Michael Owen will testify, is not enough.

We’ll wrap up with a decent win against Derby.

I think this is the first update where we haven’t lost a game. We’re spreading the goals around and look a bit more with in defence. So, where has that all left us?

Well, one place higher and three points closer to Leeds. It’s shaping up to be a two horse race between us and them.

Join me next week to see if we can achieve in the league, triumph in the cup and get Esnaider fit and firing for the Season 8 run in – see you then!