Welcome back to the unpredictable and occasionally amusing realm of human/AI co-managership! We rejoin the action at the outset of season three. The owners, flush with cork-fueled wealth, have finally injected some funds, blessing us with an almost £2m bankroll. It’s high time to overhaul this squad!

However, our newfound financial cushion doesn’t prevent our top players from having release clauses that attract attention from bigger clubs. Our stellar winger, Mbarga, succumbs to the allure of the Dutch demi-giants, Vitesse Arnhem..

We let backup players Petit and Lila leave on free transfers, the squad is starting to look thin. Time to start splashing the cash.

Our initial signing is the Romanian international stopper, Florian Prunea, who joins us for free. It’s a wise move not to splurge when quality players are available at no cost! Prunea is set to vie for the first-choice spot with Rufai.

Whilst in the free transfer market Diogo also spots and snaps up left winger Festus Agu. In real life Festus retired at 30, moved to London and became a solicitor. Should you ever need his services, £121 per hour will get you his expertise on employment law (I kid you not). However, in this virtual land he’s a tried and trusted Champ purchase.

Next up a real shocker catches Diogo’s eye. Romanian legend Gheorghe Hagi is keen on a relocation to sunny Portugal. Yes please!

Having had a look around the ground after signing, Gheorghe looks like he might be regretting his life choices…..

After two years of trying to lure him from ‘Minor Team’ utility man Noah Hickey finally joins for a princely 5k. If you’ve never seen his ‘worst miss ever’ it’s worth a search on Youtube, comedy 90’s gold!

We then go on a little depth spree, safe in the knowledge there’s finally some money in the bank:

Del Solar – loanee young forward.
Anosike – loanee backup CDM.
Abadito – loanee centre back who, spoiler alert, won’t be with us long sadly.
Jirasirichot – because one bang-average Thai left wing-back isn’t enough.
Hatef – backup right wing-back.
Julio Cesar – Brazilian CDM enforcer.
Manuel Neira – young Chilean right winger who Diogo has owned in past gigs.
Ousmane Viard – decent right wing-back from Marseille.

And finally Singapore international Smam Deesan-Tea. We can’t lie, he was bought simply for the potential of tea-based puns. We start him off with an appropriate signing photo:

Diogo then sends Miguel off regen hunting again and this time he excels, coming back with a laundry list of potential future stars, spawned from:

Neno, Southall, Heintze, Frontzeck, Barnes, Townsend, Bebeto, Rai, Waddle, Steven, Cascarino, Rush, Mccoist, Beardsley, Saunders.

We don’t however manage to get any through the door before the season’s first match is upon us!

After our spending spree, our expanded squad requires time to mesh. As anticipated, this reflects in our performance as we succumb to Beira Mar in our first game. Predictably, Hagi scores his maiden goal, yet Agu’s debut is cut short due to an injury before halftime. Watch out, lads, or he might just sue!

Carlos Lopes has admirably served as a backup player for us, often playing out of position on the right side of defense. However, with our newly bolstered squad, his role has become redundant.

With Hagi and Agu out injured, Deesan-Tea makes his debut. Big Willy Vincent pops up with a late winner, and we’re off and running in season three!

Tilico is the next man bitten by the injury bug. Despite his absence we squeak past Rio Ave.

From the regen list Miguel curated we pick up Miguel (Neno), Young (Southall), Murphy (Andy Townsend), and Allen (Rush). They’re all immediately sent out on loan to gain experience, if we make it into season four they’ll likely become key Lamas men.

With just Hagi missing through injury this is how our team now looks:

Maybe not for long after this tripe!

We are strangely inept against Chaves and go down 3-1. They had 21 shots, which is a bit worrying for a home fixture!

Loanee Abadito signs for Espanyol despite us offering him the highest wages at the club, so we’re woefully short at centre back now. Back into the market we go!

We’re outplayed for much of the next game at Branco, but Deesan-Tea hops off the bench to brew up a late winner!

We pick up the wonderfully named Singapore international Sasi Kumar, and a Portuguese freebie that all our domestic scouts loved, to act as backup centre backs.

Sasi strikes some pose for his unveiling image….

Three late goals put us out of the cup against first division opposition. Disappointing result, but we didn’t expect much. A debut goal for apprentice right back Hatef is good to see.

An awful home performance next up. Diogo and Miguel don’t even bother making subs. If they want to play like that, they can stay out there and listen to 1,635 boos!

We leave it late but manage to see off Tirsense.

With Miguel’s dream taregts still showing no interest in coming our way, we decide to splash the cash. A Brazilian international from Real Madrid – what’s not to love! It’s our record signing and one that hopefully helps turn the tide on our recent mixed form.

Debut goal for Savio but not a great performance boys!

Rufai has a terrible game away at Ovarense. Maybe their green kit made the Nigerian legend homesick. Fortunately new man Savio is firing, and we scrape a 4-3 thriller.

We see off bottom side Arrifanese with a Savio winner. We’re still a bit mystified why he joined us from Real Madrid, but we’re certainly not complaining.

Dedicated followers might recall one of Miguel’s three objectives for us: to defeat Porto before season three’s conclusion. Despite being stuck in the second division, we’ve yet to face them, and our attempts to organize a friendly have been futile. Diogo orchestrates a Christmas friendly with Portsmouth, often likened to the ‘Porto of England’, in hopes that Miguel might perceive a victory against this English counterpart as equivalent to triumphing over the Portuguese giants.

Following this, we secure a solid 4-1 victory against Gil Vicente, yet it comes at a cost. Hagi strains his back, while Sasi sustains a serious injury, breaking his pelvis and facing a six-month recovery. Even backup striker Lopes, who didn’t step onto the pitch, manages to strain his neck from watching the goals fly in, rendering him unavailable for a few weeks.

What happens when your keeper gets injured after three minutes vs the league leaders, and you don’t have a keeper on the bench? This…

In Rufai’s absence Romanian International Prunea gets his debut. He works wonders as we win away at third placed Felgueiras.

Next up are Aves, and we go down 2-0 in a fairly even contest. Disappointing to lose at home.

Marinhense decide to boot our right back up in the air, he’s out for months. We respond with a flurry of goals. Take that Marinhense!

Estoril never get off the starting grid, and we sweep them aside 2-0 with consumate ease.

At the halfway point we’re in sixth, five points behind our promotion rivals.

Miguel has been ground down by the second half slumps during the first two seasons. He only gives us a 40% chance of promotion this time around.

Come back next week to see if we can finally go up, and whether Miguel notices the difference between Portsmouth and Porto….