Bom Dia! and welcome to the finale of season three with Nick and his Portuguese imports (plus Steve Bull). They’re in the automatic promotion spots with eleven games left, and still going strong in the FA Cup, so how will it all unravel? here’s Nick..

Here’s the situation. As much as I’d like to finish top, City show no signs of losing (unlike in real life at the minute), so it looks like it’ll be a fight for second with The Brum, although we should probably keep one eye on Coventry…

We start with a whopper of an FA Cup clash, and I take back what I said about City not losing, as the Boa squeezes them to death. The semi draw is kind, pitting us against league mates Derby, while Sheffield Wednesday and Leeds will face off in an all-premier clash…

The striking department is a tad congested, so Vicente heads south. Cheers, Art!

The left wing however is less crowded, and Hugo Porfirio is interested. Take my £800k…

Hugo makes his debut as a late sub against Bolton, and lasts seconds before getting injured, forcing us to play the last 9 minutes with 10 men having made all 3 subs, but we have enough of a lead for it not to matter…

Tranmere and Steve Simonsen are up to their old tricks again as the bottom of the table curse strikes once again, seeing us lose from 1-0 up. We just never learn.

If that was bad, this is worse. We’ve been getting away with slip ups until now, but our luck finally runs out, as Birmingham win to send us down into the playoff zone…

Things don’t get any better at home against Walsall, as a disallowed goal denies us three much-needed points…

But apparently I’m manager of the month for March. Can’t I just have three points instead?

After three shite league results in a row, the FA Cup semi with Derby comes as a welcome distraction. We look to have booked our place in the final with an extra time winner, only for it to be chalked off, so to a replay we go…

Three days later we go again. We have another goal disallowed early on, but the flood gates open midway through the second half, and we make it to the final to face Leeds, which I pray will be our only trip to Wembley this season…

The good news continues as we get back to winning ways in the league by exacting revenge on Charlton for the loss at The Valley earlier in the season…

Boro are next, and The Boa proves once again that he’s a man for big occasions, as he grabs us a massive win down by the Riverside…

Just as I’m starting to get a little bit excited again, Rui Miguel kills all hope of a win over QPR inside 8 minutes and the momentum we were slowly building grinds to an abrupt halt.

However, that point is enough to guarantee us the safety net that is the playoffs. I just pray we don’t have to go through it again though…

We’re back on track once again at Bradford. Their keeper p*sses me off all game, so it’s nice to see him score an own goal to cap an emphatic away win…

Our midweek catch up game at Norwich ends goalless. They’re in the promotion mix, so it’s not a terrible result, but we miss the chance to go above Coventry, who are now in second…

After a slow start, we hammer Southampton to keep the pressure on Coventry, who do what we couldn’t and beat Norwich, which means that the race for second will go to the final day.

The final day arrives. Basically, we need to beat Stoke and hope that Middlesbrough get at least a draw against Coventry for us to finish second. We’ve scored way more than them, so finishing on equal points won’t be an issue.

It’s a tense afternoon, and goalless for almost an hour, and then help arrives when their keeper gets sent off. We miss the resulting penalty, but still manage to find the net three times to get our part of the job done. Now we wait for news from Highfield Road…

The results come in, and Coventry vs Boro finished 0-0! Finally, at the third time of asking, we’re promoted! Get the f*ck in there!!

We receive £5.575m for our efforts, which is oddly paid in two instalments…

So here’s the final table. I’m not going to lie, I thought this was going to be a lot easier than it actually was. This division is an absolute b*stard to get out of, and I just hope we don’t ever end up back in this godforsaken sh*t hole.

But before we can celebrate properly, there’s the small matter of the FA Cup final against Leeds. We’ve been more than used to a day out at Wembley for the last couple of seasons for the playoff final, so it’s nice to be going there for a different reason this time…

At half time, we’ve limited Leeds to not even a single shot at goal. We’ve had three on target ourselves, but Bodo Illgner in the Leeds goal has predictably been on fire.

Their only shot on target in the game comes just past the hour by Teddy Sheringham, and ends up winning them the trophy. Oh, and of course Bodo Illgner is man of the match. You just couldn’t make this sh*t up…

As much as the cup final defeat hurts, I’m just pleased to have finally won promotion. There was a point when I didn’t think we’d ever get out of the division, so it’s a huge relief to have finally done it. Join me next week as I get hold of old Jorgey boy to see what we can do to the squad over the summer to make it capable of at least avoiding first season relegation from the Premiership. Adeus!