Nowhere I’d Radebe – Part 9: Japhet Knacker | @Matt_C_Wills

Morning blog readers. You join me as we enter the final furlong of season 3 of our African odyssey. We’ve not really had much to shout about so far, we’ve scored a lot but also conceded a lot. Here’s how we stand however, with 11 games left to make a push to European qualification.

Lets start with the FA Cup though, as we’re in the quarter finals facing off against Plymouth.

The Pilgrims take the lead against the run of play but in fairness that’s the only time they really trouble as two minutes later we are ahead and Agali adds the icing in the second half.

It’ll be Aston Villa in the semi finals. If we get past them, now of the potential challengers look easy – well, apart from Southampton.

Speaking of Victor Agali, he’s been on fire this season and playing an important tag team with the Quicker upfront

The Quicker is injured at the moment though, so we’re also lucky to have Adrian Mole in our ranks. The nickname isn’t that tenuous as in the books Adrian does have a brief marriage with a Nigerian Princess. Anyway…..another win at home.

We’ve also got Oforiquaye on stand by to knock in goals, this time against the Crazy Gang.

None of those strikers can find a way past lowly Huddersfield and it’s a very rare nil-nil for us

Luckily, we find our shooting boots in time for the FA Cup semi-final and I honestly thought we would have a tougher time of it against Villa

The highs of reaching our first cup final is immediately over shadowed by an abrupt loss of form. First to the versatile Chris Sutton and Backburn

And then Paul Ince and Chelsea – is this a start of a collapse that I always feared would come to fruition?

Well perhaps not. Maybe we are better at recovering from blips in form these days. Spurs are always a tricky foe for us, but they are blown away at Elland Road. Agali is in his pomp now.

Liverpool fell to Southampton in the FA Cup, who unbelievably will be our opponents in the final. Here though we just about manage to leave Anfield with all three points

We look hopeful to finally get a win out of Coventry at last until Moldovan ruins the party in the last 5 minutes.

The Quicker is back from injury to bolster our striking options. Which is good as we now have three games left to secure European football regardless of what happens in the FA Cup.

The draw with Coventry actually hands the title to United and we sit in that valuable second Champions League spot on goal difference.

United are next up and as you can imagine, the United fans revel in coming to Elland Road as newly crowned champions. We try and spoil the party but in the end its honours even.

In our efforts to secure that 2nd place spot, we are almost there against Palace until Malcolm bloody Christie salvages a draw for relegation threatened Palace.

With all those shared points, we’ve slipped to 3rd, which, if you had offered me at the start of the season I would have taken, but with a champions league spot within our grasp, we have to go for it, even if it’s out of our hands

We do our bit against The Toon, scene of previous continental themed tales

While over at Ewood Park – thank you Chris Sutton and Co! We’re into Europe’s top table at the third time of asking!

Here’s how we finish up in the league – the goals against column a little more palatable this year I must say. Still room for improvement though.

Anyway, we’re now ready for the FA Cup final and here’s how Southampton will line up against us. Very defensively it seems

Meanwhile, our line up is filled with attacking intent and a certain degree of nostalgia. Paschel is injured so club captain Radebe returns to the centre of defence and I had to have Big Tony on the bench which means loanee Oforiquaye misses out.

It turns out to be a ding-dong of a game, but no-one was expecting a nil-nil affair

The Quicker and Bakayoko Ono set us off to a perfect start inside 10 minutes, only for Eoin Jess to decide he wants to score a hat trick, with his third coming with only 11 minutes left. However, we have Big Tony on hand to join our front line and smash a trademark thunderbastard in to score a timely first goal of the season. Extra time follows and Diarra heads in from a corner to enable the amazing sight of Radebe lifting the famous old cup.

So, the FA Cup in the bag and entry to the qualifying rounds of the Champions League next season means we’ve really progressed this season, in no small part to our attacking talent. We could even let Mbarga and Lamptey go on loan and score bagfuls of goals elsewhere

With all this in mind, I let Philomen wind down his contract and depart for pastures new

Meanwhile, England make it to the Euro’s final before succumbing to Spain and future Barcelona managers.

In preparation for next season additional commitments I make a mature signing for our defence on a free transfer

Plus his countryman to give even more options upfront

Awards time, but nothing for our African heroes

A couple of the older guys slip off into retirement, cheers lads.

Two pricks who won’t retire, despite being nowhere near my transfer shortlist

Well, we probably have enough attacking talent for now anyway.

I’m now loving this save and hope you will join me next week for Charity Shield and Champions League qualifying round shenanigans. George Weah, see ya.


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