Welcome back to Cologne where I am attempting to create a decent side to compete in Germany by only signing a limited number of players from countries that border Germany, simple huh?

A reminder of our blistering start to the season left us a point of the pace setters with a third of the games done.

This is a blow, Stenzel has been a steady performer so far this season, but that’s him out until next season now.

Conceding one own goal is annoying, conceding two is infuriating to say the least. Luckily Regtop is on hand to saviour a point for us.

Those two goals from Sulk Nicolas means he has scored more goals than games played. Incredibly return when only 40% of his shots are on target.

Are the wheels about to come off our charge to the top?

Judge Dredd’s brother joins the ranks to provide some variety on the left hand side.

All I remember about this guy is scoring against England at the opening game of Euro 96. Still, his stats look good and the left hand side of attack is well stocked now.

When signing Germans, outside of the big teams, players stats are pretty weak, so you take what you can get. He looks like he can fill in for Emmers and Hauptmann in the centre.

Another game, another three goals conceded and a game where we have to dig deep. If we’re not conceding own goals we’re fluffing penalties.

Jim Steinmann takes time out from penning songs for Meatloaf to get a late consolation against Rostock. This is more panic than  growth.

Another poor result and I’m not sure what the answer is after such an amazing start to the season

Maybe this famous face will help us turn things around?

He helps get us going at Bremen but in truth, this is a disaster and it all seems to be falling apart now.

Bierhoff is settling in but we are very porous at the back. Defensive options are limited by decent players not wanting to join us but hopefully that’ll change soon.

The Temu Yoda gets an early bath and our new signings settle the game for us – was starting to forget what a win felt like!

That’s only our second win since we beat Berlin way back in October. Without that good start I’d surely be holding my P45 by now….

This team will surely drive me crazy before long.

Finally another win, and a decent one too!

A false dawn against the might of Munich. Elber the fifth musketeer misses from the spot but it matters not.

Well, we started this middle part of the season a point behind the leaders but a truly woeful run of results leave us 16 adrift now. We’re scoring plenty but conceding nearly just as much and therein lies the problem – can we fix it before the end of the season to finish strongly? Please join me next week to find out!