Not sure what’s going on here? Catch up with parts 1 and 2 first!

Welcome back. It’s November and trying to better Kenny Dalglish’s attempts to cope without the injured Alan Shearer is going better than expected. We’re in the top 6, Bjarni Gudjonsson is emerging as a hero and big Al himself is only a few weeks away from a return. Everything is reasonable.

After the International break to allow England to beat Portugal to qualify for the 1998 World Cup, it’s off to bottom of the table West Ham. The usual problems arise – we have a lot of chances but old man Rush and curtains man Andersson keep missing. Then on comes lovely Bjarni and he scores before setting up Andersson to seal the win.

Unfortunately we have a trip to Man Utd to contend with. They’re runaway leaders, for a change, but I’m sick of the sight of them after the Champions League meeting. Shay Given is banned too so Shaka is in goal. We manage to take the lead and look very good in doing so, only for Paul Scholes to equalise ten minutes from time. Then an own goal seals our fate. Write your own headlines.

Our Champions League campaign is basically over so a 2-2 draw at home to Skonto Riga is a poor result but not one that will make things any different. Gudjonsson gets both of our goals to continue his ascent to greatness.

The last game of November sees the visit of Southampton. Shearer is a week away from a return and this game typifies our need for him. Paul Jones gets man of the match and not even Bjarni can sort this one out.

The board are less than satisfied, which seems harsh. A 4th round League Cup tie with First Division Luton is a golden opportunity to reach the last 8 but a loss would be catastrophic. Thankfully we go bananas.

Take that, Phil Gray. Liverpool in the quarters.

Away to Sheffield Wednesday and we’re handed a great boost on the morning of the game

He’s not ready to start but he’ll make his presence felt later in the game. Sheff Wed are above us in the table so this looks a tough game, but Shearer’s appearance on the bench terrifies Scott Oakes into scoring an own goal and the rest is history. Shearer gets 20 minutes where two further goals are added. Welcome back!

That’s the half way stage for most teams, though we have two games in hand thanks to our Champions League qualifiers.

The final Champions League group game is a chance for Shearer to start and he doesn’t disappoint, grabbing the winner to leave us on 10 points. Probably shouldn’t have drawn with Skonto Riga.

Say what?

Well that is a bonus. That’s the best possible draw too. Result!

On the negative side, Jon Dahl Tomasson is out for 6 weeks. Even worse news is that our game in hand is away to Liverpool, the scene of two 4-3s in previous seasons. Liverpool still get 4…we don’t.

Similar. Then we have the old problems at Pride Park, only I can’t blame the lack of Shearer this time. Happy Christmas.

Boxing day then and St James’ is awash with Christmas cheer. Bottom of the table West Ham provide the opposition and Alan Shearer provides the presents. That’s more like it.

Our other game in hand falls on New Year’s Eve…away in Palace. Thanks FA. We go behind early on but Shearer is in fine form. A great way to end the year.

That leaves us comfortably 4th at the turn of year.

Attention turns to the FA Cup and with Gillespie the latest to be ruled out for a month, I’m dangerously close to having to play Des Hamilton. We lack creativity and a poor 1-1 draw means we’ll replay at Sheff Utd in 10 days. Not good.

It’ll be Barnsley if we can win, which again is quite winnable.

So soon after being mauled by them at Anfield, it’s Liverpool again but this time at our place in the League Cup quarters. Andreas Andersson steps up to send us into the last 4!

You have to say it’s a great chance for a Wembley appearance but Leeds is the toughest draw on offer. At least it’s over 2 legs.

Our penultimate game of this update sees us off to Ewood Park. I’m not sure I’ve ever won a game there and Tim Flowers usually gets man of the match.

We lose 1-0 and Tim Flowers gets man of the match. I wish you could bet on these things.

To round us off then it’s off to Sheffield for this pesky replay. We’ve really struggled with Tomasson and Gillespie out at the same time but both are nearing a return, though not for this match. Form man Andersson is banned so Rushy is back. We give the type of performance that makes you wonder why we didn’t just do this 10 days ago.

Happy days. Barnsley, we’re coming for you. Or rather you’re coming to us. Whatever. We’ll see you on 4th round day.

Here’s the table after 22 games

The board are pleased, their change of opinion largely down to that unlikely Champions League escape. I’d like to finish top 6 and win one of the cups, that would be nice.

Obviously this challenge started out as the “Coping without Shearer” job but we’ll see it through to the end of the season. If you don’t mind. Bye for now.

Welcome back to the 2nd part of this new, short term series where I’m trying to make a success of Newcastle whilst captain and talisman Alan Shearer is injured. Things got off to a decent start in part 1, maybe not in the league but we knocked Barcelona out of the Champions League and isn’t that enough?

It’s certainly given us some confidence as things continue to improve with a mighty 3-0 win at Goodison Park. No doubt Ian Rush scoring will have pleased the Everton faithful…

That’s followed up (after an International break) with a 3-0 win at Stamford Bridge. The Ian Rush statue will look great outside the Gallowgate

It’s deemed worthy of the “shock defeat” graphic which I think is a little harsh. We’re a Champions League side. Granted we’re a side that contains Ian Rush and Brian Pinas, but that’s not the point.

That brings us to the start of the Champions League Group Stages and a home clash with IFK Gothenburg looks like a rough beginning when we go 1-0 down inside a minute. Shay Given gets man of the match which says it all but eventually our own Swede brings us level, Tomasson puts us ahead and Rush gets his now customary goal.

The games against Man Utd will no doubt be pivotal. Back to league action though and a 2-0 lead at home to Leeds is blown and it finishes 2-2. We’re a weird team, a fact underlined by our performance at Villa Park. We have a goal disallowed, miss a penalty (Andersson) and then have Darren Peacock sent off as we lose 2-0. That leaves us 10th, with 2 games in hand and still 4 months until Shearer time. Dion Dublin signs for Athletic Bilbao and on the same day, Gareth Southgate moves to Real Betis. That, in the words of Martin Tyler, sums it all up.

Barnsley’s visit is a return of the good times though. The dynamic duo get a brace each.

That gets Rushy a recall to the Wales squad, a fact he celebrates with a goal in Latvia as Skonto Riga are brushed aside 2-0. We had 23 shots but very few successes. The celebration continues in the less fanciful surrounds of Bolton’s Reebok Stadium, where our old Welshman scores the only goal of the game to see us past the 4th placed Trotters. The most remarkable thing about the match though is that we picked up three injuries in 4 minutes before half time, including Andreas Andersson, who like John Barnes will be sidelined for a month. The International break is very welcome.

Not bad…so far

Rush doesn’t get his dream Wales appearance, a dislocated shoulder rules him out though oddly only for one week. I’m relieved as he is my only striker for a few games, including Man Utd in the Champions League.

First though it’s Coventry at home and without Andersson it’s time for…Ketsbaia. Barnes and Barton are still out injured, Peacock is banned but Shearer is down to “a couple of months.” Naturally we throw away a lead and draw 2-2, but then we win at Wimbledon and everything is fine.

Gary Speed’s injury rules him out of the Man Utd Champions League clash, which is going to hurt. With Rush and Bjarni Gudjonsson up front, how can we lose?

So close. First NUFC goal for Bjarni Gudjonsson, so that’s a plus. It doesn’t get any easier though – Arsenal at home is up next.

BJARNI! Seeing as he’s my new hero, who is he?

I can’t even find a picture of him in a Newcastle shirt, but this is another Dalglish signing bought for the future. That date of birth is wrong by the way, not that it matters.

He went on to play 132 times for Stoke, so there is that. He nets again in a 5-1 demlotion of Carlisle in the League Cup and with Andreas Andersson returning to fitness, things look a bit rosier. Luton Town in round 4 could be a lot worse too!

Back to the Champions League and a trip to Sweden. It’s a horror night. 2-0 down and on the way out, Bjarnicakes scores twice and life is good again. Then we concede a late winner and that basically ends our involvement.

David Batty was meant to be my warrior but he’s just constantly injured. Anyway, we finish this update with Leicester at home. Andersson is recalled in place of the jaded Rush and it’s a bad end to a miserable week.

We’re still 5th as we take a rest for the International break. It’s not that bad really.

Look who’s nearly back…

Sorry, wrong screenshot.

Just one month to go…11 days to the next game too. I’m sure he’ll be back in part 3. See you then!

Hello to you. As is often the case when I have “time off” from writing and I just want to write everything. I suppose it’s good I have ideas. Anyway, I will be running a series of short stories, managing a club for a small period of time probably with some sort of caveat. Obviously this is CM9798, a game we all know inside out by now, so I need to keep things interesting.

As many of you will know, I’m a Newcastle fan. I haven’t done a blog save as Newcastle, though I did take on the job in the original save (take 2) to drag them up from Division 2. Some things just need fixing. Anyway, we join the story in July 1997. Kenny Dalglish has guided Newcastle to 2nd place after replacing Kevin Keegan and SIR Kenny has celebrated by selling David Ginola and Les Ferdinand. That’s not to mention Peter Beardsley. But fear not, he’s brought in John Barnes, Ian Rush and Stuart Pearce. To top it all off, Alan Shearer has picked up a long term injury and will miss several months. In best case scenarios, I’ve had him back by November. In other games he’s been gone until March. It’s a pickle.

2nd place in 96/97 earned Newcastle a crack at the Champions League. This is good. Normally, I’d just spend the money on Bakayoko and be done with it. Sit back and watch the good times roll. But this is where the challenge comes in. I’m not going to make any signings in the first season. Basically, I have to make the most of the Dad’s Army Kenny has left me. Oh and Andreas Andersson. Thank goodness.

This is the squad I’ve “inherited.” The problem is, finishing 2nd means expectations are quite high. There’s not an awful lot of pace in the forward positions, so my favourite formation might not work. Still, at least we have John Barnes.

Shearer’s injury stands at 7 months. To make matters even more fun, Pistone has been bestowed a 6 month injury. Oh random chance, how you spoil me.

It’s not a bad squad, really. If you ignore some of the ages. I’m thinking Rush and Andersson as the front two we were so cruelly denied, Tomasson and Gillespie in behind, happy days. Don’t really fancy Stuart Pearce as a wing back but I’m actively considering playing Barnesy there. Or Brian Pinas.

We’re a bit light up front, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Maybe it’s stupid to play two strikers when I have so many decent midfielders. Perhaps I could borrow Adam Turner’s Belgium tactics.

That could work.

It’ll fucking have to.

That’s a nightmare draw, obviously. Can’t wait to see Ian Rush lead the line on his own in the Nou Camp.

The deck is stacked. But before we head to Barcelona, it’s Derby at home. In Adam we trust.

If this is a sign of things to come, we’re ruined. We fortunately go ahead when Russell Houly chucks one in but Gary Rowett equalises. Tomasson and Gillespie put us 3-1 up and everybody relaxes. Obviously, Derby get two goals and it finishes 3-3. I didn’t expect defending to be our achilles heel but really, why did I expect anything else?

Perfect warm up for the trip to Barcelona.

We haven’t exactly got loads of room for rotation but I’m going for experience in the Nou Camp. Warren Barton is in at right back and Barnesy starts after making a decent impression against Derby.

Just don’t embarass me, alright?

Louis Van Gaal and Barca are typically reserved.

We lasted 23 minutes before Luis Enrique got on the end of a free kick. That was bad, but Stuart Pearce being sent off for deliberate handball just before half time was a disaster. Obviously Anderson scored the pen. I decided to put Watson on as a left back for Rush and played without a striker. Modern football. Anderson scored for 3-0 and I started to wonder why I even bothered trying this. But one man had other ideas. Gary Speed kept plugging away throughout and he latched on to a through ball, knocked it past Vitor Baia and it’s game on. Sort of. We’ll have to overturn a two goal deficit in two weeks.

David Batty has broken a toe, too. Anything else? It’s bad enough that I’m going to have to play Andy Griffin against Barcelona, but now Jimmy Crawford is first reserve in midfield.

Blackburn at home is up next after a needless International break. Andersson has recovered, he’s in for Rush. It’s Rob Lee for Batty and we could do with a win. We lose 2-0. It’s rancid. We’re rancid. Barcelona must be terrified.

Now what? We’ve shipped 8 goals in 3 games so I’m not sure it’s really working. I’m going back to the old faithful formation. I’m going to play young Brian Pinas a left wing back because I really hope to write the headline Pinas sticks it up Barca but that’s just the immaturity in me. Primarily I want to make the group stages.

We need to win 2-0 or by three clear goals. We can do it but we’ll need a miracle. Van Gaal has parked a big talented bus in front of Vitor Baia and we need to break it down. Twice.

We are able to do a lot of the pressing because of how Barcelona have set up. Gillespie is put through by Tomasson and my word, he scores. That’s 1-0 and we survive a few scares at our end but offer a small threat at the other. Time is running out but then it happens. Andreas Andersson heads past Baia and the joy of 36,000 is felt. Maybe they should extend the stadium. Either way, WE’RE IN THE GROUPS

Despite all of those heroics, Fernando Couto gets man of the match. For keeping Ian Rush quiet? Stupid.

Our reward is a stupid group. English teams shouldn’t be able to be grouped together but here we are. Playing for second I fear.

I’ll round off part 1 with the last game in August. It’s yet another home game, this time against Tottenham. Ian Rush scores and Darren Peacock gets a 10. I’m not sure which is less likely.

That’s it for part one, we’re actually 17th in the table but we’ve only played three times and every one else has played five. So don’t worry about it. Yet. See you soon.