I’ve decided to carry on. After escaping relegation last season, I can’t finish on a low note. Surely I can drag these Latino fools back to glory, right?

It’s not the best of starts and I’m fearing another calamatious season ahead of me.

Hello and welcome to the long weekend, a run of bank holidays has cheered my brain up, but can I engage it enough to steer my South American lummoxes away from relegation a few short seasons after nearly doing the quadruple.

We’re into the business end of the season and things are not rosy at St James Park:

I’m going to put a big flat disclaimer right here – I played through this part of the blog whilst listening to Man Utd lose 3-0 to Sevilla – so pardon any exaspirations as we go forward, thank you.

Hello and welcome back after a little Easter break for our LaToon stars.

Last time out we had a small recovery from a mid-season disaster run and patiently wait to see if finishes 7th in the league sneaks us into european action.

As we’re into Season 7, a lot of my stars are getting to be the wrong side of 30, so in a bid to free up squad space and transfer funds, I sell a few stars…

Diego was a steady peformer, but Cafu was a disappointment.

Happy Saturday you beautiful people. Spring is arriving, so what could be better than checking in with my bunch of Latin Lunatics?

Last time out my boys went through an unfathomable period of shooting ourselves in the foot. Constantly. We crashed out of both domestic cups and only recently started to claw out way back up the table.

Hello and happy Saturday. We’re back on Tyneside with our band of Geordie Samba stars trying to write their names into the history books after last seasons heroics.

Let’s start with a visit from Wolves, shall we?

Good morning, it may be Saturday, but I’m writing this up on Thursday, which happens to be the 69th birthday of one of Newcastles most famous sons, Jimmy Nail.

From crocodile shoe wearing actors to Latino football stars, we’re back at St James’ Park for Season 6 of our South American experiment. Last season, vital signings like Ortgea and Ibagaza took us to the league and cup double, and runners up medals in the league cup and Champions League. It was quite the year.

Now however, expectations have risen, can we repeat last seasons heroics and maybe even go one better in Europe?

Well, firstly some reinforcements to help the cause.

Hello people and a happy Saturday to you all.

We’ve reached the end stages of our fifth season of the Latyne (Latino/Tyne) experiment and after the arrival of Ariel Ortega we’ve positioned ourselves into a title challenge, a league cup final and we’re still involved in Europe and the FA Cup.

There’s a lot to get through, so hopefully yopu’ve got a warm toilet seat for the next 15 minutes.

A reminder of where we are:

Saturday is alright for fighting – or like me, nursing a hang over having seen my mates band last night. Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, Tyneside with a Latin flavour. Last week, our 5th attempt at a title charge was stuttering due to a leaky defence and leaves us 10 points off the pace with a third of the season to go. The omens are not good.

Hello, Saturday mornings were once SM:TV but now they are NUFC with a Latino twist here at CM9798V1 Towers.

At the arse end of last season we got ourselves back at the big boys table in Europe and added the Uefa Cup to the recent FA Cup triumph but after 4 seasons, we still are not being taken seriously as title contenders.

To make ourselves seem more serious, I sell Tino to Leeds.