Introducing the CM9798 Academy

We’re back! Arguably, we never left, as I gave you all a massive 4 week break for the World Cup before returning with the Newcastle United short story. I asked YOU what should happen next:

The people have spoken. It was quite close though, so I will keep the NUFC save going too. Probably on a Wednesday, leaving Sunday free for the new long term save. But what? WHAT?

Oh great, he’s been messing with the editor again.

The CM9798 Academy are a club in the English 3rd Division. They start the game with no players or budget and a strict instruction to only recruit free transfers under the age of 23. The academy has been set up as a way for crazy owner Ike Mashley to make an income. Using the “list for loan” glitch to stop clubs exploiting the big club release clause is banned. Roll with the punches. What have I signed myself up for?

The aim is to take the club to the top. That’s going to take some doing, the “long term” thing wasn’t a joke. So let’s crack on.

An additional issue is only being able to bid for 5 players at a time, so it’s a real scramble to get a squad together for our season opener at Scunthorpe. Tomlinson turns us down, which is an early blow. Andrew Duncan goes to York and Andrew Mainwaring technically costs £5k. Of all the players I sign, I only know Anthony Betterton. He’s a promising goalkeeper but as he has already been called into the England Under 21 squad, I don’t think I will have him for very long. Here’s the squad:

Now, none of these players will mean anything to you. Here’s some more information:

Anthony Betterton

As mentioned, he’s a well known useful freebie. He’ll only improve too but I suspect he will be one of the first to go. I have three keepers and will try to make sure I have three on the books at all times.

Danny Gee

This guy was “Highly recommended” which I guess covers his high tackling, heading and positioning but that low technique could be a problem.

James Gallagher

He’s aggressive but he’s Scottish so it’s just the way he was raised. Hoping this chap will fit nicely into one of the two attacking midfield positions, he can pass and run but lacks creativity so we’ll see how he goes.

Chris Pearson

Logically, this guy should be my top scorer by a mile. Pace, off the ball and shooting are three of the things I really look for in a striker in a direct formation. His poor heading might prove to be an issue but beggars can’t be choosers at this level. He has been at Notts County previously, so read into that what you will.

Just confirmation that we signed all these chaps:

The first game of the season is at Scunthorpe. Obviously I want instant success but realistically it will take time for these lads to gel. The usual formation is applied:

To give you an idea of the task ahead of me, we are 3-0 down after 46 minutes. We do rally, briefly, to get one back but it’s a bad start.

The only slight plus is that Joby Gowshall gets man of the match, somehow.

Here he is:

Got a lot of time for young Joby. Tackling and pace and decent positioning. Long may it continue.

Another arrival ahead of a League Cup tie with Barnet and he’s bang average. But that should be it for the squad depth for now.

Barnet have Sean Devine, but we have…Ryan Morrison. Call it a draw?

That’s not a bad result. Guess who gets man of the match?

Joby the magnificent.

Our first ever game at the CM9798.co.uk Arena is against Darlington. The irony. It’s been a rough 2 days of training as Betterton and Bryers have strained a wrist each. Make your own jokes. Weathers has a damaged foot, I really hope that is from a separate incident.

Just over 1,000 people turn up to watch us dismantle Darlington. Who supports this movement? Scouts? I guess it would have to be local to somebody. Anyway, I digress. Pearson gets his first goals for the club and it’s all very promising. Group wanks all round next week if this is the result.

There are a handful of players in the squad who don’t have big club release clauses. None of the good ones, obviously. I always think these players are obviously crap rather than just being loyal. Time will tell. Incidentally Danny Gee got man of the match in that Darlo win. Love these centre halves.

They face the Devine test again and the crowd is 7 times bigger. If you build it, they will come. Pearson and Buckley are at it again and Round 2 awaits.

Southend over two legs in Round 2 could have been a lot worse. I don’t really know what the aim of these cups is for us. The money is not going to be spent, except on wages, so we’ll just save it for the day that will eventually come where we are trying to attract Europe’s finest Under 23s that are available on free transfers. Christ.

Brighton away. Things have gone quite well for the Seagulls in the last 20 years but here at Priestfield, nobody cares. Well, 1,352 people do. Our strikers have an off day, their keeper gets man of the match and we lose 2-0. Ho hum.

Gowshall stubbed a toe. Phew. He’ll miss a few weeks. At this level, that’s about 400 games, but at least it’s not the season or anything.

Leyton Orient at home and to my amazement they don’t play Bjorn Heidenstrom. In fact, he’s listed for transfer. I’ve never understood how the AI doesn’t exploit how great he is. If he was 7 years younger and on a free, I’d sign him in an instant. Anyway, the Welsh Dion Dublin stars at centre back and we absolutely piss it.

Pearson hits the post several times a game but eventually Buckley gets a rebound and the game is won.

Random Champions League news. Poor Legia Warsaw…

I’ve broken my own rule and passed 1,000 words so the last game of this update is Scarborough away. A rough first half is put right with one of our special half times and before long we’ve got the cigars out. Our first away win!