Good day to you and welcome back to the Academy, where the struggle against relegation is very real. I’ve got a full graduate update for you later on, but for now, we pick up the story in our 6th season, our second in the Premier League, where we are just about keeping our heads above water.

Champions Aston Villa are having a tough time backing up their unlikely success. Nothing sums that up more than them visiting the arena and getting pumped by little old us.

Oddly two clubs want Gary Dods. He barely ever plays, which perhaps is my problem, yet he has a big club release so off he goes to league leaders Derby. Yep.

I never did get him that extra D. Man City away is going quite well until half time where we barely bother rousing ourselves for the second half. A 4-0 defeat and honestly, it could have been worse.

Thankfully sideshow Luke Perry (not his real name) is one of the few plus points this season. He scores the winner against Tottenham to keep our hopes alive.

We scored so many goals last season, and every season for that matter. I miss that.

Our record at Bramall Lane is not good. They just get the better of us at every opportunity. The same thing happens here, including both centre backs giving away pens in the first 13 minutes. I had experimented with going back to two at the back but after those 13 terrible minutes I soon put it back to 3.

Liverpool are struggling too. It’s another tight game, but almost identical to the Spurs game Perry pops up with a late winner. My hero.

Everton sacked Neville Southall and replaced him with Joe Royle which meant Spurs had a vacancy to fill. A man with chicken and a fishing rod applied…

Barnsley away is a winnable game and we show some surprise steel to come back twice and nick a point in the last minute. Mission 40 points is back on.

Fulham at home and that should be another chance to pick up points. It reaches the Perry time of the game but Fulham have their own ideas and end up winning. Bugger.

Boxing day and we’re back to the opening day of the season but it doesn’t bring us any more luck. Trouble is brewing.

Two days later it’s off to Hull and one of our rare good days. Cambiasso and his new pals are taught a lesson as Denis Irwin re-gen Rory Gallen gets us underway from the spot and we’re 3-0 up on 25 minutes. A very rare away win.

Result. Fred McGregor departs and I feel it’s about time we get some centre half depth back. Meet our three newbies.

Something to work with, I hope. In the meantime we’re off to Notts County for FA Cup 3rd round action. It’s a regen party as Sedgey scores twice and Wazza gets a hat-trick. Round 4 will see us play Portsmouth as we go looking for revenge for last season.

Bolton at home and although they are 7th this should be a chance to keep our momentum going. Gallen’s missed pen is offset by McBride a minute later but an absolute disaster in the last minute sees us concede twice and somehow snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. This lot really test my patience.

The last thing I want is a trip to Old Trafford and we actually play really well but still lose 4-2, even the 2 are late consolation goals.

The state of this.

The fun continues with Portsmouth in the cup. MASSIVE SIGH.

The replay will be grim. Arsenal at home and with Patrik Berger dismissed, surely we will win. Right? Nope, 1-0 down we’re grateful to young Dion Dublin who nicks us a point. Happy February.

It’s awfully tight at the bottom of the table with a lot of clubs deep in trouble.

I suppose on the plus side we’re only 4 points from 12th so if we can just scramble a few wins, we might be alright.

If 40 points is the target we win to win 4 or 5 games from the remaining 14 but it’s going to be a bit of a scrap with so many teams down there. I guess there’s no gurantee 40 points will be enough.

Please do join me next week for the remainder of the season. For now though, let’s take a look at the Graduates.

Graduates

We’ve had an awful lot of departures over the years so here’s what they’re all up to, by position.

Goalkeepers

Anthony Betterton – West Ham, Premier League. Recently lost his place as number 1
Daniel Cox – Nottingham Forest, Division 1. Star player but 23rd in league.
Nathan Freeman – Celtic, SPL. No appearances

Defenders

Danny Gee – Southend, Division 1. First team regular
Gerard Lyttle – Brighton, Division 1. First team regular
Gary Simpson – Bolton, Premier League. Captain
Stuart McCaffrey – Cambridge, Division 2. First team regular
James Stones – Blackburn, Premier League. Star player.
Callum Golabek – Portsmouth, Division 2. First team regular.
Matt Walsh – Birmingham, Division 1. Backup.
Jon Finnan – Sunderland, Division 1. 6 appearances in 3 years. Shouldn’t have left.
Steve Strong – York, Division 3. Not very good.
Gary Dods – Derby, Premier League. 1 appearance so far, just signed.
Stewart McConnell – Blackburn, Premier league. 7 appearances.
Fred McGregor – Cheltenham, Division 3. Star player.
Ian McCormack – Bolton, Premier League. First choice right back, made 9 appearances for Celtic in 3 seasons. Sold for £600k (we got £2.3m for him)

Midfielders

Lee Norfolk – St Johnstone, SPL. A regular starter for 5 seasons.
Ryan Morrison – Barnsley, Premier League. Made no appearances for Man Utd before being sold back to Barnsley for £925k.
Jeff Brazier – Bolton, Premier Division. Wants to leave as not playing.
Chris Johnson – Port Vale, Division 2. Barely plays.
Esteban Cambiasso – Hull, Premier Division. 4 caps for Argentina, regular starter.
Kevin Dow – Tranmere, First Division. Made no appearances for Sheff Wed before leaving for £350k.
Marc Hussin – Bristol Rovers, First Division. £3.6m is the second highest fee received.
Stephen Melton – Farnborough, Second Division. Regular starter.
Andrew Weathers – Forfar, Scottish First Division. Regular starter.
Sam Shilton – Chester, Third Division. Regular starter.
Chris Woodcock – Tottenham, Premier League. Quickest graduate, not a regular at Spurs.
Fulvio Falco – Sampdoria, Serie A. Barely plays.

Forwards

Michael Twiss – Chelsea, Premier Division. £5.25m is record fee received.
Steve Williams – Sheffield United, Premier Division. 10 appearances acros 3 seasons, totally wasted. Transfer listed (sold for £3.5m)
Ugo Howard – Nottingham Forest, First Division. 0 appearances.
Big Bill Davies – Dunfermline, Scottish Second Division. Terrible.
Chris Pearson – Clyde, Scottish Third Division. 1 in 3 striker.