CM9798 Academy – Part 27: Book a Rest

Well hello there. You would think after winning the Cup Winners Cup that the Academy would be, you know, better. But last week we found out we were the same terrible outfit we’ve always been and once again find ourselves in the bottom 3. Getting ourselves out of that is the priority this week, but first, we need to ensure we’re playing European football after Christmas…

The first leg in Norway was 2-2. We’re heavy favourites to go through and despite an early goal, we’re immediately pegged back and spend the next 72 minutes spraying shots high, wide and straight at the keeper. Away goals are our friend.

1-1 stromso

Our reward will be a Spring break to Bucharest. I hear it’s lovely in March.

CWC QF draw

Just two days later it’s Fulham at home. My new front two are really hitting it off and a 5-0 victory is somewhat of a shock. Like the good old days!

5-0 fulham

Our new found form sees us head to Stamford Bridge and that man McCallum gives us the lead. It just provokes Chelsea who soon lead but Heddle…heads in a late leveller. He’s got 20 for heading so he gets on the end of everything with mixed results.

2-2 chelsea away

What’s this all about? Just because you’re scoring for fun doesn’t mean you can leave.

mccallum wants out

DENIED. We welcome Tottenham and soon wish we hadn’t.

3-2 spurs

This is like a knife through the heart. Firstly, my boy Nev. How could you? Woodcock was an Academy lad for about 7 days before he left for Spurs. I hate him.

The pointless cup sees us head to the Midlands. A drab encounter looks set to go to extra time until Charlie Mac remembers he wants to be home to watch Newsnight and that’s that.

wolves 0-1

Christ, must have been a quiet month.

manager of the month november

Man City away is a typically miserable experience. McCallum goes off with what turns out to be a two week injury before an International break. Smells like “lads holiday” to me but whatever. We lose and Kinkladze scores.

city 2-0


alexander pelvis

After the World Cup playoffs are done, Hull visit the Arena. We’re in a spot of bother against one of the few teams worse than us but captain Colomba equalises before Lukic gets what turns out to be the winner. A fine win.

2-1 hull S9

We’ve found resoluteness. It’s our thing now. A draw at Sheff Wed is good but another injury to McCallum is not. Stop getting injured.

1-1 sheff wed away

Two days later we’re off to Bolton. That’s about as exciting as it sounds.

0-0 bolton

The FA Cup has seen us draw 2nd Division Brighton. We can win that. I send out the reserves and they do a great job. A New Year’s Eve to remember.

4-0 brighton

Ooooh look at us, we got money for Christmas. So long Mancini junior.

Landonio off

I’m putting a brave face on it but he was our set piece king. His last game is the first leg of the Super Cup where we get stuffed.

torino 3-0

Off he goes. You’ll be missed.

Landonio gone

It’s a footballing irony than in the first game since his departure we get a penalty. Charlie Mc converts it against league leaders Everton. We restrict them to one shot in the whole game, helped by the red card that lead to the penalty. Still though, us not conceding is always a miracle.

1-0 Everton

The League Cup Quarter final should be quite the occasion but at this stage I’m struggling to give a shit. We’ll get nothing for this, it makes Ike no money and I’m really not bothered. We lose to First Division Birmingham – had we won, I would have said a semi final was one of the greatest achievements in the clubs rich 9 year history.

brum 2-1

A win at Sunderland keeps us ticking over. It’s all the more impressive considering my Italian stallion gets sent off on 37 minutes and we are backs to the wall from then. McCallum scores on the break and then McManaman junior seals the points at the death. It’s worth of the shock result graphic which is insulting to at least one of the teams.

mackems 2-0

Roy takes it particularly badly.

roy resigns

Don’t be stupid.

job no

Our FA Cup journey continues with a win against a team we never seem to beat. McCallum’s very early goal is enough as we spend 89 minutes clinging on. The fifth round awaits.

1-0 west ham FA

Kettering away! That will do pig.

FA 5th round S9

The second leg of the Super Cup is a pointless endeavour. A much changed side puts up a good scrap and I’m pleased to see Billing score. He’ll be a quiz question answer having scored in every division for us, plus the FA Cup, Cup Winners Cup, League Cup and now the Super Cup,

2-3 torino

It’s a bonanza against Boro. A crazy three minute spell sees three goals. Thankfully two of them are for us and only one for them as Heddle once again proves to be a threat from set pieces.

3-2 boro

Our good run ends with a loss at title challengers Villa. It could be worse.

2-0 villa away

I feel hard done by that we are only 16th. However, two sides are cut adrift and we are three points from 7th. It’s a stupid league. 10 points from 3rd to 18th is excellent for the neutral but for a team who has to scrap for every single point we get, it’s not great news.

prem bottom Feb S9prem top Feb S9

We have scored the third most goals in the league, joint with Villa. That’s remarkable. Don’t talk about the against column, that’s never been our strength. It does set the end of the season up very nicely. We’ve got the Cup Winners Cup to defend, a promising FA Cup and a league position which could fluctuate massively with every passing week.

I don’t know why you’d even think of not joining me for the conclusion next Sunday but we’ll be back at the usual time. For now though, here’s our Graduate of the week.

Graduate of the week

This week, here’s Chris Pearson. Our original goal getter, he saw us through our first three seasons. His form dropped off in the first season in Division 1 and he barely featured in the second season, where we gained promotion. He departed for Scottish third division side Clyde. I always found it off that he had no attention from anybody when you consider some of the rubbish who have been and gone in this save.

Pearson graduate

Clyde were promoted to Scottish Division 2 at the end of 2003/04 and that seemed to end his days as a goalscorer. As you can see, he’s lethal at that level. His career is going nowhere fast.

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